Oh anita, why would i not feel absolute joy and contentment having such an amazing girl loving me and being so caring to me.She’s such a sweetheart and i wanted nothing else than to kiss her all over her pretty face before this happened 🙁

Actually in december too, while holding her i would hug her so tight and kiss her hands, forehead, lips, eyes, etc and i would feel like shouting from excitement! (while my mind was telling me “u are fooling her, u will leave her” “u are faking it”)
Now it’s like none of this matters, i can’t imagine anything romantic or feel it, like this self of mine has gone dark.. only void and vanity remains.