Hey anita

Yeah that’s what he says, but still, it doesn’t click with me, because that wasn’t the order. I was thinking (again), why would my situation has something to do with avoidance, while i can’t even enjoy anything else? I dont take pleasure from anything. I was wondering, if it was a relationship issue, imagining me with another girl on my motorcycle (for example) would bring me joy and excitement, but no.

Also, the order was: 10th November, waking up feeling “down”/meh. 11th, even worse, feeling like i’ve lost my romance (not just for her, but in general, like i don’t have anything romantic to give to anyone), then noticing that i don’t care about meeting her anymore suddenly, but that worries me, so i have a convo with a friend of mine and i tell her “Since yesterday, i can’t feel pleasure for anything, including my relationship and that made me want to disengage.” Then i would start obsessively searching for my feelings whole night, 12th november, i read her text (a funny meme) and boom, stomach cramp/disgust or something (like the guy from the video with the ROCD i told u some days ago described), then dissociation/DP|DR and obsessive analyzing/searching, even more stomach cramps when arguing with her. But i focused on the relationship because it was the most important thing for me, so it could have been just a depressive episode all along that i turned into something else, maybe it was the end of the honeymoon phase but my body didn’t take it well?

I wonder what mr. copilot has to say about this haha