“Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.” ~Shirley Maclaine
Have you ever felt like you were drowning in negativity?
Maybe you were feeling down on yourself, but instead of pulling yourself up, you made yourself feel bad for struggling with yourself in this way.
Or maybe you made a mistake, but instead of forgiving yourself, you beat yourself up over it, rehashing everything you should have done.
It’s all too easy to get stuck in a cycle of negativity. Even if we practice yoga, meditate, or start our mornings with positive affirmations, we can fall down, and find ourselves wondering why it feels so hard to get back up.
As I mentioned last week, I spent most of my life in this type of cycle, and despite the tremendous progress I’ve made over the years, I still fall into this trap sometimes.
When this happens, I might be tempted to think myself in circles—to essentially let my feelings paralyze me while I dwell on the same fears and frustrations over and over again. And then I might wonder why I feel so stuck.
The truth is we feel paralyzed when we paralyze ourselves, and we can set ourselves free if we stop obsessing about why we can’t.
We don’t need to identify concrete solutions to all our problems. We don’t need to create the illusion of control amid uncertain circumstances. We just need to accept that our biggest problem is fighting the way things are, and then consciously choose to stop battling ourselves.
We just have to choose to be in this moment instead of scheming toward something better
This moment is a new opportunity to let go of everything that’s stressing us.
This moment is a new chance to take a deep breath so that we don’t feel overwhelmed and frustrated.
This moment is a tiny lifetime, all in itself, and we have the choice to live it.
We can trudge through mental quicksand, feeling bad and wishing we didn’t; or we can realize that stewing isn’t even slightly productive, and then consciously choose to let go and be free.
Photo by Alex [Fino] LA
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Perfect timing, Tiny Buddha, this perfectly addresses how I’m feeling today … and how I should let go of that.
Ahhhhhh, yes. I needed this today! Thank you…
Namaste
Thank you for this, we can’t afford to forget that your life can either become your hell or your heaven. It’s up to us to become fully present in every moment and let the peace of god flow through us
Wonderful. Absolutely the wisdom I needed for this very moment. Thank you
Love this!!! I took my moment http://www.smiffbib.com/2012/03/21/this-was-our-moment/
Thanks Lori! Seems so many of us are experiencing life moments of change right now and as always you are the voice of reason.
b
Thank you Lori…
Those moments of freedom add up along the road and become a fundamental trust in life: Knowing that you’re able to just be in the moment, no matter what, is more powerful than even the most powerful “positive” ideas, solutions and other forms of life insurance. 🙂
Awesome. This was a much needed message for me today. Gracias, as always.
Thank you.
Thank you. I just mailed this to my mum. she really beats herself up. you words speak to the heart.
namaste
Emma
What a great reminder Lori. It can definitely be easy to forget in the moment that you have the control to choose to be happy. Take a deep breath and let go. It can change your whole perspective in a situation. Thank you for sharing through your experiences.
Jacquellyn
Thank you Lori,
Yesterday I was down on myself. I decided to enter the dating realm and went on a dating website (wow, need I say more lol)
Anyways, it was non stop emails and I even met someone a few days ago. I am so in tune with myself now that I realized he was not a giving, positive individual and I went so far as mentioning he doesn’t seem grateful…I won’t get into where that went LOL.
For some reason, the individuals did not get back to me and I was feeling so down on myself and wondering what happened, if it was me, did I say too much? I could actually feel my energy draining out of my body and I couldn’t pull myself out of it…until I said to myself “There is not a thing wrong with me and the right one will come around.” I decided to pull myself out of the self doubt, negative talk and went back to all of the hard work I’ve done on myself and all the good in my life.
I’m back to being thankful and content in my life and have to protect myself from that Ole Man Negativity.
You’re most welcome!
You’re welcome Stephanie. I’m glad this helped!
You’re most welcome! I’m experiencing a lot of change myself, so this was exactly the message I needed this weekend!
Good point Halina, about those moments adding up to trust. I think trusting the moment instead of fighting it or trying to change it is the ultimate freedom.
You’re welcome. =)
You’re welcome Emma. Namaste. =)
Let go is my favorite mantra! Every time I take a deep breath, exhale, and remind myself to to let, I feel a tremendous sense of relief!
That’s wonderful you pulled yourself out of the negative self-talk in that way–and also that you followed your instincts so clearly with the man who didn’t seem right for you. Congrats on re-entering the dating realm!
You’re most welcome. Namaste. =)
De nada! =)
This is so beautiful. I hope that one day everyone can do this. Letting go and choosing to live happy was one of the most important things I have learned in my life. I enjoy you writing thank you so much.
This is so wonderfully said. I’m bookmarking it to return to regularly.
I especially like:
“We don’t need to identify concrete solutions to all our problems. We
don’t need to create the illusion of control amid uncertain
circumstances. We just need to accept that our biggest problem is
fighting the way things are, and then consciously choose to stop
battling ourselves.”
Deep down, I know this, but somehow it’s easier sometimes to focus on “fixing” and “controlling” everything than it is to focus on myself and acceptance. It’s always nice to be reminded — Thank you.
Taking a deep breath in —- and deep breath out —-and letting go… 🙂
Love love love love love.
You’re most welcome. Thank you for being part of Tiny Buddha! =)
“This moment is a tiny lifetime, all in itself, and we have the choice to live it.”
That has to be one of the most beautiful sentences I’ve read in a very long time. And I read a lot!
Thank you so much for sharing this message. As much as I understand the importance of living in the present, it’s something I have to work on daily. I’ll have to get that sentence tattooed on my hand or something, so I can constantly be reminded!
You’re most welcome Rebecca. (And thank you!) I have to work at living in the present moment as well. I love thinking about each moment as it’s own tiny lifetime. It’s liberating!
Thank you Lori ,your probably the author who touches me most….you are loved and a much needed and appreciated voice for these difficult times we experience… I’m disabled by chronic pain and fatigue , and you help me find something to be positive about each day. Again , thank you….
You’re most welcome, and thank you. What a beautiful comment to wake up to. =)