“The world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming it.” -Helen Keller
There’s a child wailing five feet away from where I’m sitting in the Farmer’s Market at The Grove. This is my least favorite sound in the world, and I often tear up when I hear it.
While I realize children often cry for reasons that have nothing to do with danger, I associate hysterics with fear and powerlessness, and it makes me want to do something. Since I generally can’t, it manifests in my body as anxiety–a fight or flight response with no outlet.
I’ve had full-on panic attacks when confronted with a hysterical child. It’s an emotional trigger–and a strong one.
We all have these triggers, though some of us don’t have such overpowering reactions. Maybe you lost someone you love on a rainy day, so you feel angry when the clouds turn gray. Or maybe you sustained a serious injury at the beach, so the sound of the ocean makes you feel ill.
These associations can be limiting, and sometimes downright paralyzing. They can cause physical and mental sensations that are completely unrelated to our present circumstances. In short, they divorce us from the present and thrust us into a painful past.
There are times when we need professional help to fully release traumatic associations. But other times we only need a modicum of self-awareness and a willingness to breathe and let go.
The past is over. What happened, happened. Today is a new day, and freedom comes from seeing it with new eyes. It comes from recognizing what’s going on in our minds, and then choosing to release those thoughts and feelings. We all deserve to feel peaceful, but no one else can do it for us.
Today if you get lost in a trigger that thrusts you to a painful event, take a deep breath and remember: we can’t change that we’ve hurt before, be we can choose not to suffer now.
Photo by ZeePack
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Good stuff.
This is SO true. I’ve been working on pain from repressed emotions. As you said, for most, awareness is all that is needed to release the pain. For others, professional help is needed. A wonderful book that gets to the source of this is “Mind Body Prescription” by Dr. John Sarno.
Love this part and might need to use it as a mantra: “take a deep breath and remember: we can’t change that we’ve hurt before, be we can choose not to suffer now.” Thank you.
I think an interesting point here is the very nature of a trigger. As in, I did not choose to be triggered by the gray clouds (did I?). Sure, I can choose to not suffer in response to the trigger. There is suffering in the trigger itself, that’s part of what a trigger means to me.
Thanks for a great read! 🙂
You are most welcome. =)
You bring up an interesting point–thank you for adding to the conversation! I think that we can’t always control our immediate emotional response because it happens so quickly, but if we’re self-aware, we can challenge it. I’ve actually been listening to an anxiety hypnosis CD (part of my lifelong healing process) and I’ve found it very helpful in releasing the associations that lead to suffering. So in short, I think it IS possible–it’s just not easy!
You’re most welcome. It’s been a very helpful mantra for me through the years!
Thank you for the recommendation! I looked it up on Amazon. I’m definitely going to put it on my must-read list!
Children crying can be a trigger for me too. With 3 kids, you can imagine what havoc that can reap on my days. My oldest is 7, and I am still trying to gain perspective at times. Until I read your blog, I didn’t realize that this trigger is related to something in my own past. I can’t wait to delve deeper into that realization and perhaps gain freedom again! Thank you!
You are most welcome! I know this is going to be a challenge for me when I have children some day. I’m glad this was helpful to you!
yah. pain is one thing. suffering is another – and this one we have a choice
I was in an abusive relationship for 15 years, there are days when coming home and entering the house brings on a flood of emotions. I will try to be more mindful and try to relax and let go…it is all in the past.
How wonderful that you’re no longer in that relationship! I can imagine it was difficult to make that change in your life. I really admire that you’re living in the moment, despite having been through something so hard. I know it isn’t easy.
Sending lots of love your way,
Lori
Thank you @DianaAntholis for that book recommendation!