“Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.” -Michelle C. Ustaszeski
Familiarity can sometimes seem like permanence. Oftentimes the more comfortable we are with someone, the less effort we put into our time with them.
As I’ve mentioned before, I visit my family on the east coast several times each year for two weeks at a time. Every time I leave California, it’s bittersweet because I’m leaving my boyfriend Ehren to go see people I love.
And every time I leave Massachusetts, I’m leaving my family for even longer to resume my life with someone else I love.
Because I spend more time with Ehren, I go through phases where I don’t fully see him for the gift that he is. I might assume that I know what he’s talking about instead of fully listening. Or fail to fully appreciate the qualities that drew me to him, because I’m accustomed to them.
I don’t always recognize when I’m doing these things, but when I do, I remember the airport.
In that transient state between there and there, I’ve learned a lot about what it really means to be here—to recognize that everything changes and appreciate it all while it lasts.
When Ehren drops me off for a flight, I look him in the deeply in the eyes and realize how fortunate I am for the time we get to spend together. When my family brings me to Logan, I do the same with them. And while I’m in the air between them, I remember to appreciate the time I spend with myself.
The reality is that nothing in life is permanent–not even our closest relationships–meaning this moment is the ideal time to pay attention to each other, understand each other, forgive each other, and be honest with each other.
Occasionally, we may take each other for granted, or get caught up in little squabbles that we wouldn’t choose to hang onto if we knew our time together was running short. We never get to know when that will happen; we only know it eventually will.
Every moment we have together is valuable. Whether or not it feels that way is entirely up to us.
Photo by Luciano Meirelles
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Hi Lori,
You are so right about this! I had the chance to visit my older son and his wife, plus my two grandkids this past weekend, and it is exactly that, past. I went there with my youngest son and his wife. It’s about 95 miles from where we live, so I tried to make even the drive to-and-from matter. We had a wonderful early Christmas because my boys each have other commitments for next weekend. I triedy best to be present while I was there and had a rememberable time! It was so much fun to watch them all open their presents and spend that special family time with them.
Best,
Sal
Wow, this is a beautiful post. It really is too easy to take our loved ones for granted. Thanks for the reminder to appreciate the time we have together. I make sure I say “I love you” to my husband at the end of every phone call and when he leaves for work.
Lori,
This is so beautiful..thank you!
I love a traveler…each time he leaves I revel in the space even as I “miss” his presence, using the time to create and re-connect with my self and those around me; each time he returns my heart leaps and I embrace our time together fully..I know this practice expands each area of my life, so I am learning to appreciate it as it is.
Thanks Sage! I do the same thing actually. =)
Beautifully written Joy! =)
Sounds like a wonderful time Sal! I love seeing my family around the holidays. I know we can enjoy each other at any time, but there’s something so magical about this time of year. =)
Thanks Lori 🙂 this post actually shook me up a little (a lot actually). I have been so caught up in the past and all the little things I seek out to stop me from being happy that I forgot about what is important. I just realised what if today was it – what would I want my thoughts to be? Would I want to have wasted my time beating myself up and taking time away from my husband and myself and my family. Would I want them to remember me and would I want to remember them as being happy and have no question about how much I love them? I know what I am going to choose 🙂
Glad this helped Amy! Those are great questions to ask yourself. =)