“Many fine things can be done in a day if you don’t always make that day tomorrow.” -Unknown
When I was younger, an adult I was staying with told me, “The diet starts tomorrow. Let’s eat everything we can before midnight.”
So we did. We ate grilled cheeses, leftover Chinese food, Twinkies, and anything else that called to us from her cabinets.
It was then or never, that was the message, and tomorrow would be different—which of course it wasn’t.
For years, I started each morning intending to make healthy choices, and then after failing to meet my perfectionist standards, decided to turn over a new leaf the following day.
I justified chain smoking by telling myself I’d quit tomorrow. I allowed myself to remain inert by rationalizing that the day was “ruined” because I missed my morning workout.
It was impossible to make big change because I always had an excuse to avoid making different choices.
I eventually gave up Marlboros and binge fests, but I still deal with all-or-nothing thinking at times, particularly when it comes to leaving my comfort zone—and if I’m not careful, it can be paralyzing.
Perhaps you can relate. Maybe you’ve rationalized that you’ll start dieting after the holidays, instead of cutting back just a little starting now. Or maybe you’ve put off looking for more fulfilling work, assuming it would be easier next week, next month, or next year, when you feel less frustrated or overwhelmed.
We delude ourselves when we rationalize that tomorrow we’ll excel at what we aren’t willing to start today. We may never feel fully prepared or confident when it comes to our ability to change—and that’s okay, so long as we’re willing to try, starting now.
That means accepting we may not do things perfectly.
We may feel like we’re making progress and then fear we’re right where we started. More likely, we will have taken two steps forward and one step back—which means we are moving forward.
I don’t believe that life is short; most of us will have abundant opportunities to experience all this world has to offer. Whether or not we actually do that is largely dependent on how we spend our time.
We can sabotage our days by imagining tomorrow will be better; or we can seize our moments by forgiving ourselves when we struggle and doing the best we can right now.
Photo by zedmelody
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
All or nothing, black or white: these limiting concepts robbed me of joy and happiness for years. If I couldn’t do it perfectly, I used to believe I had failed completely. I thought happiness and success what something that happened to me, and that it happened once I had mastered it all.
Today I am joyful, happy, grateful and successful in this moment. Today I focus on progress, not perfection. Today I live my life every day being happy for what I have, and making the best of this day. Today mistakes and setbacks are okay.
My life is peaceful, hopeful and content today.
Chrysta
Bravo!
Thanks for that!
I’ve told myself I’ll start looking for some more fulfilling work in 2 months ‘after’ our wedding…….. I guess I’m starting today 🙂
Rob
My life was totally like this few months ago.
I feel so identified with this post.
Thank you Lori.
I’m sending this to my friend who is extremely overweight and genuinely wants to do something, on doctor’s advice, but lives in a totally all or nothing world. He can’t even begin a walking programme of ten minutes every day. Every day. He starts at three miles and is surprised that he can’t keep it up for one week. He doesn’t recognize this about himself!
He too has the limiting concepts that you and Chrysta talk about, that black and white, all or nothing thinking. For anything to last, be it weight loss or procrastination, it must begin within. As has been said by many changing our thinking changes our life
Nice post Lori. For a minute, I thought you were eavesdropping on my self talk. Have I done anything today to move in the direction of my dreams? And instantly went to guilt because I was enjoying myself in the moment. Of course I completely forget to give myself credit for developing a new business letter over the last three days. And really Tumblr is market research. Pinterest? What if work could actually be this much fun? And what if I gave myself permission to relax between projects? In any case, I must disagree with you on one thing. Life is damned short. We don’t realize it until we are looking at the expiration date which is a lot closer at 60 than 30. In reality, no one knows how long life is. It can be done like that *snap* or we can live to be 100. But regardless the mileage, life is now. So yes. Begin. Any baby step will do.
Wow! Sounds like how I start the day. Every day. If I eat something “off the plan”…I have to do it better or more perfect tomorrow.
Right now I am struggling with finishing up my PhD thesis, and everyday is a battle. Your advice to forgive myself in my struggle and do the best I can right now has helped me beyond measure. Thank you.
Thankyou Lori,
So very true……in fact in these cases, ‘tomorrow never comes’
be good to yourself
David
I am an academic writer, and am strong in the revision and the structuring and the strengtheing of arguments in thesis papers. Give me a shout at acawrite0@gmail:disqus and maybe I can help!
“We delude ourselves when we rationalize that tomorrow we’ll excel at what we aren’t willing to start today.”—> This hit me like a slap in the face and then made me laugh. Because it’s so true!!! What makes me think that I’ll wake up in the morning with perfect abilities to do whatever it is that I want to do right now??? I mean, what will be so different about me in the morning, what?? Nothing, that’s what. HA! I guess sometimes a person just needs the simplest points made to them. Thank you!
I used to think that I wasn’t a perfectionist because nothing I ever did was perfect. It didn’t stop me from feeling like a complete failure whenever I wasn’t perfect. I would fear trying anything because if I tried and the result wasn’t perfection, what would that make me? And that’s when I realized that that was the definition of perfectionism. When that lightbulb went, I’ve switched my focus. It hasn’t been easy.
Thank you so much, I enjoyed reading this and found out that I myself leave so many things to the unknown tomorrow. We shoud remind ourselves every day that the present moment is a precious present. And we should appreciate it by all means.
You’re most welcome Rob. Best of luck with your job search! =)
You’re welcome Valle. =)
I know a lot of people in this boat, Elle! I hope your friend is able to start small and make some healthy changes.
Your self-talk sounds a lot like mine! I can also feel guilty for enjoying myself–then I remind myself that enjoyment, for me at least, is the point of it all. I hear you about the expiration date. I suspect that no matter how much time any of us get, it won’t feel like quite enough.
You’re most welcome David. =)
You’re most welcome. I’ve asked myself that same question many times before!
You are most welcome. =)
You’re welcome Renata. I’m glad my post helped you!
This is MY story.,so much that now I’m using my age as an excuse.”well im too old to change now”.I have built so much of my today’s on tomorrow’s that never come.i have cheated myself out of so much.Thank you for reminding me I am not unique,that other people struggle with this issue too.For me it is usually all or nothing,there is never middle or balance.I will meditate on what you said about slow tiny steps to progress,
I think this is definitely a common struggle Debra! I love the quote, “A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.” It reminds to stop focusing on the big change I want to create, and instead focus on what I can do right now.
“I don’t believe that life is short; most of us will have abundant
opportunities to experience all this world has to offer. Whether or not
we actually do that is largely dependent on how we spend our time.”
That totally struck a chord with me. I spend WAY too much time devouring articles on the internet and dreaming big, but I don’t spend anywhere near enough time making my dreams a reality.
I feel this way a lot–tomorrow I’ll be better! It’s so difficult to pick myself up and start fresh right in this moment rather than putting it off.
I hear you Rebecca. I’ve actually cut back on self-help books for this reason! Especially now that I spend so much time writing/reading online, it’s important to create some balance between learning and doing.
I know what you mean Sage. I need to constantly remind myself that each moment is a new start!
“For years, I started each morning intending to make healthy choices, and
then after failing to meet my perfectionist standards, decided to turn
over a new leaf the following day.” I do this same exact thing almost everyday; including today in particular…I’m really glad I read this blog just now; Thank U so much Lori…:-), hopefully I’ll be able to remind myself of this more often than not…!
You’re most welcome Jeevan. =)
“We delude ourselves when we rationalize that tomorrow we’ll excel at what we aren’t willing to start today.”
Love this phrasing! So very true.