“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” ~Henri Nouwen
The other day I saw the movie Moneyball after originally deciding it wasn’t for me. I did the same thing with The Blind Side—I assumed I wouldn’t like it because I’m not a sports fan. I realized how wrong I was when I left the theater both laughing and crying (I’m emotionally ambidextrous).
I’ve done this many times before—made a snap judgment about whether or not I’d enjoy an experience based on assumptions and incomplete information. And not just when it comes to entertainment. I’ve bowed out of Indian food, country music concerts, and even hiking, all of which I’ve come to love, but not quickly or easily.
Oftentimes, the stronger my initial resistance, the more stubborn I am about admitting my resistance was unfounded.
Maybe you’ve been there before. A friend invites you to an art festival and you assume it’s not for you because you don’t generally enjoy museums. Or your sister invites you to a themed party and you choose not to go because you don’t love dressing up.
While we obviously can’t say yes to everything, and we have every right to honor our preferences, we often underestimate our potential for enjoyment.
Like the relationship that develops between two unlikely friends or the sun that peaks through the clouds in a sky that was supposed to be gray, unexpected joy is sometimes the most satisfying.
Say yes today—not to everything, and not to things you feel strongly opposed to doing, but to something you think you won’t like. Try that new restaurant, meet up with a new friend, or get up and sing karaoke. Do it assuming there will be something worth experiencing–something you’ll learn, enjoy, or gain.
Happiness has a way of finding us when we’re open to creating it.
Laughing Buddha image via Shutterstock
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Hi Lori,
I recently felt the same way about Moneyball but went to see it anyway! If I’d known Mama Mia was a musical when my friend asked me to go with her, I’d have said no! The movie is sitting on my shelf now 😉 i LOVED it!
What a nice reminder for a Friday. Joy is here and now! Have a happy day!
Lori
Great post!
I find I do this a lot – such an excellent reminder that if we go into something with a closed mind, we can actually make ourselves have a bad experience when it could have been a good (or at least an OK) one! My most recent was with country music too… I hated it (and my only reason was bcos it was country, for crying out loud). However, new boyfriend led to some new music and now, I actually enjoy it. I guess we miss out on little things that could make us happy if we never open the door.
hmm…you’ve got me thinking…my thing is “fantasy” films – as soon as I see the word “whimsical” to describe a new movie I get the heebie-jeebies & cross it off my mental Netflix que for good!!!
Lori sometimes I think you might have been my daughter or sister in another life.
b
“Oftentimes, the stronger my initial resistance, the more stubborn I am about admitting my resistance was unfounded.” In a way; this is the story of my life…Though, I like to think that I’ve made some progress over the years…
P.S. I have read somewhere that our eating habits often have a lot to do with our taste-buds; which u r either born as a picky one or someone whose taste-bud makes them more willing to try new things (In other words its biologically intact)…Case in point for those of us who r PICKY EATERS…hah 🙂
I just realized I never responded to comments on this post. Perhaps I was =)
I also love Mama Mia! I’m a week late in responding, but here’s to another happy Friday tomorrow. =)
I have definitely experienced that Courtney. I think sometimes we actually want to prove ourselves right…even if we’d be happier proving ourselves wrong! I’ve slowly opened up to country music after many years of strong resistance, and I’ve found there’s a lot of heart behind it I never allowed myself to appreciate before.
Very interesting! I am a picky eater for sure, but it never occurred to me that perhaps I was born that way.