“Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” -Voltaire
Last week I got sick. Really sick. Head-spinning, stomach-retching, body-trembling sick, and just before the holidays, while visiting my family.
I completed a radio interview for my book through a brain fog so thick my thoughts felt trapped in quick sand. Needless to say, I got behind with freelance work, and come Christmas Eve, I hadn’t yet prepared anything for this week on the site.
Since I knew the next several days would be busy, with holiday festivities, wedding dress shopping with my engaged sister, and last-minute get-togethers with friends before I return to California, I realized that morning was my last chance to prepare three days worth of content.
So I decided to focus solely on what’s important: preparing the blog posts other people had previously submitted. Usually, I spend a great deal of time looking for the “perfect photo” to go with each post—but I decided instead to find a good one and go with it.
I generally go through each post and insert multiple links back to other posts on the site. But I decided to skip that too since it wasn’t completely necessary.
These details may seem inconsequential from an outside perspective, but for me, they fall under the umbrella of the “right way” to do things—and oftentimes my perfectionism tells me it’s that way or nothing.
It’s a limiting way of operating that does nothing but create unnecessary stress, and yet it takes a conscious effort for me to fight this perfectionist instinct.
Ironically, you as a reader may not even have noticed the things I didn’t do if I didn’t point them out—which is just another reminder that generally speaking, we are the only ones who know how things “should” be or look. Sometimes the best thing to do is do our best and resist the urge to judge it.
So today, on the tail-end of this sickness I’ve been struggling to shake, I share with you this, my highly imperfect blog post. It didn’t involve deep thought or research. I didn’t spend a ton of time self-editing this.
And yet, as always it’s my truth. I’ve decided that’s good enough.
Wishing you a peacefully imperfect day and the capacity to recognize and appreciate the good.
Photo by Two Roses
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Thank you for being kind to yourself. You set a positive example!
Thanks Kate! Somehow writing about my perfectionism takes power away from it. I’m so grateful I have this space to do just that!
As I read your post it felt like me talking! Like you, I must remind myself that sometimes ‘not perfect’ is ‘just right’!
I embrace your imperfection and mine and everyone else’s! Great post, Lori. Feel better soon.
one of your best! I hope you’re feeling better.
Your post, as usual, was written from your heart, but in reading it, I felt a different level of spontaneity that was uplifting for me and revealing of your authentic nature. Thank you as always for your sharing the spaciousness of your heart.
Just lovely. As I am an extreme “overthinker”, to the point of frustration and non-productivity, I appreciate these words a great deal. And, as is often the case, I had been sitting here contemplating very similar dilemmas, a great deal of : should I , shouldn’t I, blah blah blah, to the point I am exhausted. You are spot on about perfectionism, & how it effects us more than anyone else. We are the ones who notice all of our “imperfections”. A Good project for the new year and this week of the New Moon in Capricorn. Peace
This has to be my favorite post yet. Thank you!! So simple and so raw, truly touching. I agree with the other commenters that this post really read as a a post straight from the heart.
My key word for 2012 is excellence. To me, that is a feeling of quality–that I am investing and sharing life enriching and spirit enlivening–more than of perfectionism. I used to be a perfectionist, until I realized that making sure each detail was complete was my way of exerting a “sense of control.”
What stands out to me in your words today is: “as always it’s my truth. I’ve decided that’s good enough.”. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful reflection:)
I hope your feeling better. I always do after reading your post.
Lori, you’ve just described me perfectly. My perfectionism has been like an illness that has kept me from accomplishing so many things. Although I am learning to accept “good enough,” it’s a real challenge for me to be “alright with it” and not let it affect my esteem.
Sometimes I can surf the perfect wave, but most of the time I am kneeboarding, in tow by good friends, like you. Thanks.
The source of all of my stress is perfectionism and the really awesome realization is that I am, in actual fact, becoming more “perfect” as I let things go in my day – I become a friend, a mum and a lover rather than an automatim. To er is to be human? I’m not quite sure where or who I was before leaving things at the “good enough” point, but I sure wasn’t as much fun to be around!! Thanks xx
What a beautiful picture & post. Hope you are feeling better & took time out to take care of yourself. I think we all have these moments from time to time that act as reminders of what is important and what is not. It’s a chance to begin again!
One of your best posts. i
t’s not your perfect-ness Lori, that draws us to you and TB. It’s your “truthiness” (tip of the hat to Stephen Colbert).
Remember the cracks are where our divine light and grace shine through…
Thank you for thinking of us, your TB fans, even though you’re sick.
As a new mom to a wonderful 4-1/2 month old baby boy, I can appreciate this. It’s easy to get hung up on trying to do everything by the book (literally, there are so many baby advice books) instead of from the heart. And it’s easy to beat yourself up for “doing it wrong.” Thanks for the kind words of wisdom. I will revisit this post often!
How wonderful that you’re a new mom! I have a few friends with babies, and they’ve said the same thing about baby books. I’m glad my tiny imperfect post helped you. =)
Thanks Laura. Your comment brought a big smile to my face. =) I’m thankfully feeling much better today. My four-day headache finally went away!
Thanks Laneyo! I am indeed feeling much better. I’m glad I took it easy for a while around the holidays. I really needed that time to just relax without putting pressure on myself.
What a wonderful observation. It’s true for me too. The less I stress about doing the best, the better I am for the people around me!
Yes, that’s exactly how I’ve felt (about my self-esteem). It’s just so unfair to do that to myself. I would never do it to my sister or someone else I love. It’s a nice feeling to allow myself to do what I can, and know it’s not a reflection on me as a person. It’s nice to be knee boarding with you. =)
Thanks so much! I’m finally feeling much better. =)
You’re most welcome. =) I love the distinction you made between excellence and perfectionism. That’s one of my regular resolutions actually–keep learning to let go more and control things less.
Thanks Kat! I have to admit, it’s so nice to see that even if I’m not feeling well and I don’t feel particularly lucid, I can still connect with people here. I really appreciate that you took the time to write. =)
It’s nice to know I’m not alone! =)
Thanks so much Loran. I’m actually feeling much better today =)
Thanks so much–I am!
Thanks so much Lola. It felt great to simply write from my heart. =)
I know all about over thinking! Sometimes it can seem like such a productive thing, but you’re right–it’s exhausting. It’s so liberating to just “let it go” whatever “it” may be. An early Happy New Year to you =)
Our imperfections make us shine more on those days we are more perfect.
Thanks for reminding me that we all need to scale back at times and let ourselves be an imperfect and more content human. /;)
your Post is good enough and YOU are good enough and doing it while not feeling well is even more amazing and shows your incredible dedication. Feel better … get well … and thanks for sharing what you do … and just know that the world won’t end if you miss a day once in a while !
((((Hugs)))) Lori.. your good makes me feel fabulous!
Lori,
It seems we were thinking along the same lines. I believe that perfectionism is a unicorn hunt.
http://wp.me/pZ8j9-kX
Thanks to all of your work on Tiny Buddha. Your Tweets and posts are daily refreshment for me.
I added the Voltaire quote to my post thanks to your reference.
Best,
Andy Dix
Author/Motivational Speaker
Most perfect post yet!
Same thing happens to me, and other perfectionists 🙂
Thank you
I hear ya sister. I kick myself it the guts countless times trying to be “perfect”. Ironically, our imperfections are what make us human, personable and genuine.
Lol… once again I seem to be in good company. I’ve recently leaned that doing is much easier than thinking about it to the point of inaction much more satisfying too. 🙂
You’re most welcome. =)
Absolutely, and interesting. =)
Thanks girl! 🙂
Love,
Sarah
You’re most welcome!
“I spend a great deal of time looking for the “perfect photo” to go with each post,” I do the same thing all the time Lori even when I am actually sharing one of the blogs in Tiny Buddha to my site, I have to find another photo, which supposedly suits as the ‘perfect photo’ for the blog which ironically I still end up feeling wasn’t perfect enough…lol.
“These details may seem inconsequential from an outside perspective, but
for me, they fall under the umbrella of the “right way” to do things—and
oftentimes my perfectionism tells me it’s that way or nothing.” As cliche as it might sound; for each of us PERFECTIONISTS; we are most often than not our worst enemies…!!
P.S. Hope you are feeling better now with your sickness…MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR; Lori…:-)
Thanks so much Jeevan. I am thankfully much better and looking forward to an exciting holiday weekend. Happy New Year in advance =)
Wow! I used to think that if I don’t do something perfectly, it is just a downward spiral so I would be so hard on myself but I LOVE the way you look at it. Sometimes, my best is not “perfect” and that is okay! Next time, I can still go back to “perfect.”
Loved the post. Thank you!
I know all about that downward spiral! It’s such a liberating feeling to just let myself be without putting so much pressure on myself. I’m glad you enjoyed this post! =)
As someone who suffers from mental illness, this is a wonderful reminder that perfect really doesn’t have to be. Sometimes just the simple act of finishing without struggle and pain makes it all worth while. Thank you for your healthy reminder. Happy New Year.
You’re most welcome. I’m glad this helped! Happy New Year to you as well. =)