“Trust your own instinct. Your mistakes might as well be your own, instead of someone else’s.” -Billy Wilder
A few months ago, when I was creating my book marketing plan, an associate advised me to allocate resources to something that I felt certain was not a smart idea. He offered a detailed explanation for why I should do it, but I felt strongly that it wasn’t necessary.
I eventually did as he recommended because he was adamant that I should. Essentially, I decided his instincts were smarter than mine—even though this was new territory for both of us—and simply followed his instructions.
Sure enough, this investment yielded practically no return, and at first, I felt angry toward him. Why was he so persuasive, I wondered, and why didn’t he offer me additional guidance so that it didn’t end up being a complete waste of money?
I realized then that I was trying to hold him responsible, when the reality is that I am the only person with the power to follow my instincts and make my choices.
There are always going to be people who think they know what’s best for us—and many times, they will be well-intentioned.
There will be family members who think they know which career paths we should pursue. There will be friends who think they know when we should walk away from our relationships. It always seems so clear from the outside, but the reality is no one knows what the future holds and where our choices will lead us—including us.
No one can know that walking away from one job will ultimately lead to something better. No one can know that ending a relationship will prove wiser than spending time trying to work things out. And no one can change that there is an element of risk in every decision.
We can either take our risks based on other people’s instincts; or we can take responsibility for out path into uncertainty.
We can only ever know what feels right for us in a moment—not whether or not it’s the right or wrong choice to create our desired outcome. This means we need to dare to own our decisions.
We can best navigate twists and turns when we’re fully in the driver’s seat—but in order to do that, we need we have the strength and courage to steer.
Photo by sharrattsam
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
I love this post as you are talking about something much more spiritual than most people realize: Faith in our instincts and intuitions.
As a mystic, this has been an ongoing lesson. I see intuitions as intelligence from Her/God, and more and more I find that when I listen to Her, that Life lines up perfectly for me (and almost always in unexpected ways). Sadly, the converse is also true – if I don’t listen to Her, sometimes She bites. 🙂
Thanks for this post.
Whenever I’ve been in a bad situation because I followed someone else’s advice instead of following my heart, I’m mostly upset with myself because I know I should have trusted my instincts. Really, other people don’t have to suffer the consequences of our decisions, so we shouldn’t treat their comments like they’re any better than our own.
Thanks! I’m sending this one to my daughter. Basically – I’m allowing her to ignore my advice. This is a gem, Lori!
OMG Lori, its like you read my mind…wonderful article!!! As always x
Thanks Lori, I like this idea.
I’m often challenged by decisions; over analyzing, asking others, gathering info. As you mentioned, all we really can do is have the courage to act based on our own feelings in the moment. We still don’t know the outcome, but we need courage to act and steer in the face of uncertainty.
LOL I’m glad you found it helpful Mike!
Thanks Tina. =)
I’m with you Brad. I have a lot of decisions to make right now, and I’m really challenging myself to be clear about when I’m acting from acting from fear. Most often when I ask other people for their thoughts, it’s because I’m afraid of making the “wrong” choice. I keep reminding myself there is no wrong–there’s just what feels right, right now!
You are most welcome. Having faith in my instincts is something I am ever learning to do.
It took me a bit to realize that this time around. Sometimes it feels comforting to “blame” someone else–but I realized, in the end, it wasn’t about blame. It was about taking responsibility.
Thank you – I love this… I too have learned – the hard way/the only way – to trust myself. A fun slogan I stole that helps me with this is: “My gut is my god!”
You are most welcome. “My gut is my god.” <~ I love that! =)
This article is saved under my favorites because it is such a great reminder to be confident in your own intuition and decisions, regardless of what others may think or advise.
I also find myself turning to others more so when I so desperately yearn to find the right answer. Then, when I am overwhelmed by opinions, the pressure becomes almost unbearable. That’s the point when I realize that I have to gently remind myself that there is no right answer and there is no wrong answer. When I use my own inner intuitive compass to guide my decisions in the moment, it’s amazing how much inner peace I feel even if the outcome is completely unexpected.
Thank you so much for this article– it has helped to bring so much clarity into my life over this past week when I have needed it most.
You are most welcome Ashley. I know how tempting it is to try to find the “right” answer. I’m glad this helped!