Tiny Wisdom: On What We Really Want

“Pleasure can be supported by an illusion; but happiness rests upon truth.” -Sébastien-Roch Nicolas De Chamfort

So many times in life we hop from illusion to illusion.

We imagine that we’re finally getting closer to happiness, when the very fact that we’re looking for it in the future makes it unlikely we’ll experience it in the present.

We interpret what we experience based on our pasts and fears, instead of seeing people and things with fresh eyes.

We attach to ideas of right and wrong, as if things are black and white, and in doing so convince ourselves that we are somehow separate from each other–that we’re different, or superior, or inferior, or alone.

To offset the pain we create in our minds, we distract ourselves, and numb ourselves, and lie to ourselves, and guard ourselves.

We find whatever it is that soothes us, and then pretend that happiness exists in a drink, or a meal, or a pill, or a relationship.

But real happiness doesn’t exist in escaping the present; it comes from recognizing that what we really want is to stop suffocating the moment with thoughts, fears, beliefs, and opinions. What we really want is to choose our pleasures not because we’re hurting, but simply because we enjoy them.

We can view the now as a bridge to somewhere else we’d rather be, and then cling to things that help us get through it. Or we can stop telling ourselves those stories and simply be.

And even more beautifully, we can realize that we all deal with the same struggles and dramas, and if we’re willing to let them go for a while, we can simply be, together.

Here’s wishing you a weekend filled with authentic  happiness–the kind that grows from inner calm and a sense of satisfaction with the moment and yourself.

Photo by Wonderlane

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others do the same. She recently created the Breaking Barriers to Self-Care eCourse to help people overcome internal blocks to meeting their needs—so they can feel their best, be their best, and live their best possible life. If you’re ready to start thriving instead of merely surviving, you can learn more and get instant access here.

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