“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” ~Gandhi
It’s awfully difficult to be happy when you don’t love or respect yourself, and let’s face it: A big part of self love has to do with operating with integrity.
When you commit to making a positive change–like meditating or cutting back on work–but don’t follow through, you’re basically telling yourself that your commitments to yourself aren’t valuable enough to keep.
When you decide you believe in something strongly, like honesty, and then contradict it in your actions by lying, you’re telling yourself that your values and beliefs don’t really mean much to you.
These small choices create a nagging sense of internal conflict–a feeling that you’re not who you say you are, and you aren’t sure why you’re not.
I’ve been there many times before. I’ve said that balance is important to me then overloaded my schedule. I’ve committed to being compassionate, and then I’ve judged someone harshly. The end result is always the same: I feel unhappy, and then I recognize the distance between who I want to be and who I’m being.
Today if you feel unhappy and struggle identifying the cause, ask yourself: Am I being the person I say I am–and if not, what changes can I make to align what I think, say, and do?
Photo by Zen me
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
This is so where I’m at just now. Thanks for this post Lori, I really needed it! 😀
Thanks for this. I think this might be exactly what I’m dealing with right now. I’ve made some great strides, but something still feels off. It’s happened before- there tends to be quite a gap between who I would like to be, and who I really am. In the meantime, I have a tendency to “pretend,” which always ends badly!
You’re most welcome!
I know how that goes! I’m so glad this came at the right time for you. I know this type of thinking always helps me get in alignment to feel happier with who I am being in the world.
[…] 4/4/11 Tiny Wisdom: On Happiness | Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes … Tiny Wisdom: On Happiness. “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” ~Gandhi. It's awfully difficult to be happy when you don't love or respect yourself, and let's face it: A big part of self love . […]
Calm. That’s what these words do for me. Calm me down. Because I hear the ring of Truth in there. I am only unhappy when I am not integrated. My circumstances? pooey. It’s the inner me where the harmorny resides. And that can float with whatever circumstances seem to flow my way.
Well said Lori! Aligning actions with words, thoughts and values makes a difference in our lives, and in the lives of the people around us. Peace and metta,
frank
Peace and metta to you, my friend. =)