Tiny Wisdom: On Giving Peace Away

“If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another.” -Dalai Lama

Most of the time when I feel overwhelmed, stressed, frustrated, or angry, it’s because I’m obsessing about my circumstances–everything that feels unfair or insurmountable and all the ways I feel powerless to change them.

In this state of mind, I inevitably stress other people out, whether I talk about my challenges or not.

It’s there, spoken or unsaid. It gets in the way of my ability to really be present with the people I love, and it affects their state of mind.

I’ve realized that the surest path to feeling more peace is recognizing when I’m challenging other people’s–when I’m drowning my interactions with my personal struggles instead of creating a positive space for myself and the people I encounter.

We’ll always have problems in life, and if we’re not careful, they can suffocate our relationships.

Today if you feel burdened by your struggles, realize that stressing won’t create solutions–it will just create more problems, for you and others.

The alternative is to breathe–to value collective peace in the present more than individual control over the future. Ironically, this often makes it a lot easier to identify solutions.

Photo by Wonderlane

Comments

5 responses to “Tiny Wisdom: On Giving Peace Away”

  1. Mindfulsearcher Avatar

    Just what i needed to hear this morning. Thanks.

  2. violetveg Avatar
    violetveg

    I agree ‘Mindfulsearcher.’ I was having this problem yesterday and this article was perfect. Thank-you Lori!

  3. Lori Deschene Avatar

    You are most welcome. =)

  4. Tom Huntington Avatar

    Right on, Lori. When I’m all stressed out internally, I know I’m a drag to be with.

    I’m working at re-framing my relationship to “problems.” I’m working at seeing every “choice point” or every “decision point” in my day as a “problem” — with some “choice-problems” being very challenging (such as “shall I stay in this relationship?” or “what am I gonna do, now that I got laid off without any savings?”) and other “decision-problems” being very easy to “problem-solve” (such as “should I have eggs or cereal for breakfast?” or “should I hit the snooze button and sleep another 5 minutes or get up right now?”) This re-frame is really helping to minimize the stress in my life. I even woke up this morning with the title of my class at Tom’s University today: “Love Your Problems”.

    Wish you the best,

    Tom

  5. […] Buddha has some wondrous wisdom to share about peace – yours and […]

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