“To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.” -Unknown
There’s a reason we often take the path most traveled: Seeing all the footprints on the well-trodden road creates the illusion of certainty, especially when many are your own.
When it’s familiar, it feels safe. You know what’s at the end; you’ve been there before. You know how to get there, so you don’t need to pay too much attention to your steps or the details along the way. You can just kind of put yourself on auto-pilot and go.
But there’s something kind of ironic about living on auto-pilot.
We generally do the things we’ve always done because they require less mental effort; you know what’s around you, so you don’t need to worry as much. But instinctively, we still find things to stress about. Even if we follow the path that feels comfortable, we generally end up thinking about the possibility of things we can’t control. There are always things we can’t control. Nothing is ever certain.
If you inevitably need to embrace the discomfort of knowing the future is uncertain, why not choose the discomfort that might push you one inch closer to the possibilities you dream about?
Why not reach out to someone you admire, or go to that event you’re scared to attend, or pitch that idea you’re afraid isn’t great? Life is bound to be messy and occasionally scary. Why not actively choose your changes, instead of waiting for them to choose you?
Today as you go about your day, if you find yourself doing what you’ve always done, ask yourself: What would make me feel excited about today? Then do it. That tingling sense of fear and possibility–it’s the feeling of being alive.
Photo by C.Davenby
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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I have mixed feeling about this. And also quotes like if you never take a chance then you’ll never know etc… I had a job opportunity in California, but I didn’t take it because it was only a student position and it was far too risky and I am not completed with college yet. I think YES you have to take risks sometimes but they have to be calculated and you must do whats best for you in the LONG TERM.
I couldn’t agree with you more! I think ultimately we all have to follow our own instincts. It sounds like you have a good sense of what’s right for you, and that you won’t shy away from taking risks when they feel like the right fit. Sounds smart to me!
But how can you ever know what the “long term” is, or know what time and circumstance will bring, etc.? You probably made the right decision about that job — for you, in that moment — but it’s also correct to say that you’ll never really know.
I like Lori’s comment about that “tingling sense of fear and possibility” being a clue. We have to go with our gut instinct, because in my opinion, that sense/instinct is arising from our own toolkit of experience + knowledge + abilities/skills and so on. So if a thing doesn’t “feel right”, that’s probably a correct analysis of whether it’s right for us. On the other hand, if the feeling we get is a kind of excitement, even if it’s something we’ve never done and/or it might feel outside our comfort zone, we really need to consider following the excitement instinct to see where it leads. All kinds of opportunities might open up as a result. And if they don’t, or if an action (like taking a new job) turns out not to be right for us… well having made one change, we can also then make another, take another direction. In the meantime, who knows what new things we’ll have learned by experiencing that little side-step off our normally beaten path?
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