Tiny Wisdom: On Constant Change

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“When you’re finished changing, you’re finished.” -Benjamin Franklin

A few years back, I reconnected with an old friend from high school. Years after we met, we both struggled with depression and dealt with messy, public recoveries.

He said that seeing me was disheartening because I seemed like an after picture, whereas he felt like he had so much more work to do.

While I recognized that I had come a long way, I knew he formed this conclusion partly because he wasn’t seeing a complete picture. He was seeing confidence and a smile within an isolated moment in time and assuming this was a static final destination.

The truth was (and is) that I am not done changing and I will never be. None of us will. We will never feel like we have arrived and there is nothing left to learn, challenge, or change.

In a world where transformation sells–and sells well–it’s easy to believe that there will be a point in time when everything gets good and stays that way, but happiness is not about arriving. It’s about accepting that the journey is endless, and that it is not only OK but beautiful to have more room to grow.

Today if you’re feeling frustrated about a change you’ve been struggling to make, remind yourself: Happiness is not where you’re headed; it’s being good to yourself on the way there.

Photo by chatzle

Comments

9 responses to “Tiny Wisdom: On Constant Change”

April 29, 2011

takepanicout

That’s beautiful and so true! *snaps*-I always feel like snaps are necessary when you hear something good for your soul.
April 29, 2011

Lori Deschene

Thank you! I’m so glad this resonated with you, and I appreciate the snaps =)
April 30, 2011

My effort is the only reward « Happinews

[…] Lori Deschene writes…”Today if you’re feeling frustrated about a change you’ve been struggling to make, remind yourself: Happiness is not where you’re headed; it’s being good to yourself on the way there.” « Royals, days off and no rain 😉 LikeBe the first to like this post. […]
May 1, 2011

ThomasFrankovich

ATTENTION: Calling all radical subversives, misfits, & nudist buddhist. ATTENTION!

When Master Dogen Zenji returned from study in China with Master Tendo Nyojo he proclaimed this:
“I return empty handed, not even a speck of Dharma do I have. The sun rises in the east, and sets in the west. My eyes are horizontal, my nose vertical. That’s what I realized.”

ATTENTION! Casting everything away. Enter ‘don’t know’ mind. There’s NO-thing to be realized. -0-.
Alert & awake!
May 2, 2011

Guest

Non sum qualis eram.

I am not what I once was.
May 5, 2011

Joanne Pilkington

I enjoyed this. I like the apparent paradox in that you always need to be striving for goals to be truly alive, but that you also need to be aware that you will never finally arrive and there will be just more goals after that.
May 6, 2011

MJ

Thanks. I’m very frustrated right now for just this reason, so this helped. I modified and tweeted your last thought.
May 6, 2011

Lori Deschene

You’re most welcome!
May 10, 2011

Rama Luksiarto

Thank you for your inspirational articles. Reminds me that i’m on the right track 🙂