“Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life, but the ability to cope with it.” -Unknown
There are some days when I want everything to stop.
I want the calls to stop, the emails to stop, the requests to stop, the expectations to stop, the confrontations to stop, and the struggles to stop. Essentially, I want everything to feel quiet and easy.
Then I realize that if everything stopped, life would be boring, uneventful, and static.
If everything stopped, I wouldn’t have any opportunities to create, grow, learn from other people, or share what I’ve learned with them. Life would not be peaceful–life just wouldn’t be happening.
What I really want on those chaotic days isn’t for the world to stop. I just want to stop seeing the world as a million fires I need to put out. I want to stop interpreting everything as a conflict or crisis. I want to stop living life in a constant state of reaction, and instead focus on the actions that matter to me.
I suspect that’s what we all want: the ability to nurture a sense of peace that doesn’t crumble every time our circumstances get challenging.
The truth is we can access that on any day we choose to. We just need to choose–and then keep choosing instead of responding with stress, fear, and angst.
Today if your world seems less than peaceful, remind yourself: I can deal with whatever happens outside me. It starts by taking responsibility for what happens inside.
Photo by mahalaie
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by IrisandMe, Brenda Clayson. Brenda Clayson said: “Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life, but the ability to cope with it.” -Unknown @tinybuddha Read More: http://ow.ly/DKjn […]
re: “if everything stopped, life would boring, uneventful, and static.”
This post was/is very timely and appreciated, except for the above. To me, this line expresses an aversion to these characteristics that can be as troublesome as the an addiction to the opposite experiences. Some boring, uneventful, and static is how it is and that too needs to be accepted with equanimity.
correction: Some boring, uneventful, and static is how it is and that too needs to be accepted with equanimity.
should be: Sometimes boring, uneventful, and static is how it is and that too needs to be accepted with equanimity.
Hi Michael,
You bring up a great point. Thank you for adding your thoughts!
Allow me to clarify what I meant. When I wrote that if everything stopped, life would be boring, uneventful, and static, I didn’t mean to imply that uneventful days are bad, but rather that a life without anything happening–ever–would likely be an unsatisfying life. Sometimes boring, uneventful, and static is how it needs to be, but if that were always the case, I personally would feel very unfulfilled.
From this perspective, suddenly struggles and conflicts seem, to me, like things worth appreciating. They are natural consequences of activity and progress.
Thanks again for sharing your insights!
Lori
I resonated with this and I’m actually going through some of these feelings today. It can be a challenge based on the fast paced environment we live in, especially as it relates to work and overload of e-mails and the seemingly un-endless list of activities that need to be completed immediately.
I’m continually aware and curious of the habitual aversion, stress and anxiety that can arise within. It’s beneficial to explore that and feel those feelings and really try to relate to where it’s coming from instead of doing the usual thing we do….getting swept up in the emotions and letting them take us away from the present moment
Ahhhh!!! I LOVE hearing how actual people find or make a way to live differently with more fulfillment.
Truly, less can be more!
And by joining the Chamber of Congress to gain access to health insurance? I will need to check that out in my state too.
Thanks!