“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” -Plato
Sometimes it can seem like everyone’s out to get you. There’s the person in traffic who refuses to let you into his lane. The customer service representative who rushes you off the phone without helping even a little. The friend who didn’t tell you the whole story, which left you feeling hurt.
We’ve all met these people. We’ve also been these people. We all have days when we’re not as considerate, helpful, or honest as we’d like to be.
Sometimes it’s because we’re rushed. Other times it’s because we’re tired and irritable. And other times it’s because we’re hurting emotionally and maybe we’ve yet to really acknowledge and deal with it. Maybe we don’t think we can, and so we let it fester inside while we go through our day, feeling hopeless, trapped, and alone in our sadness.
Today if you come across someone who gets on your nerves, consider that maybe underneath their rudeness or insensitivity is a pain that’s yet to be healed. It doesn’t condone their actions, and it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stand up for yourself when necessary.
But it may make it easier to feel a modicum of compassion. I don’t know about you, but on days when I am hurting, that’s what I want and need: a friendly face that says, “I understand, and I care.”
Photo by Big Mind Zen Center
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Actually, I love that the 4/11 post on Insurmountable Obstacles showed up as today’s post too. I had just read the 4/11 post this morning and it was SO what I needed today as I’ve been dealing with some tough stuff lately. Seeing the post again was uncanny and really reinforced the power of the message. Thank you for reminding me of my resiliency 🙂
I could read this one every day. important reminder. thank you. Peace.
hey this is cool and all if we’re talking about strangers or people we bump into sometimes but what if you’ve tried so hard to be kind to someone and you get kicked in the back for it, what do you do then? that warrants another post on kindness i guess…i once had to go speak to a professional because i was “too kind”…i know that doesn’t sound so modest but i was definitely a YES person…since then i learned how to take care of myself a bit better and how to say NO and mean it. but i just gotta remember that kindness can kill me if i’m not careful enough.
Hi there,
You make a great point. I have been in that position before myself. My instinct is to be helpful, and sometimes I’ve put myself in situations where I didn’t take care of my own needs in the name of kindness.
I actually wrote a post about this around the holidays:
http://dev.tinybuddha.com/blog/10-tips-balance-self-interest-and-sacrifice-for-a-wonderful-life/
To summarize, I think there needs to be a balance. While we can always empathize with people, give them the benefit of the doubt, and cut them some slack, that doesn’t mean we should let ourselves be doormats.
I hope you find this post helpful!
Lori
[…] I learned that, sometimes, being kind means being compassionate to another person’s troubles. […]
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about people who believe they are being assertive but are actually just being nasty. Compassion absolutely compliments standing up for yourself, and you’ve not mastered either of them until you can do both together!
You are most welcome. =)
I totally agree!
Great post…especially like the last line. “I don’t know about you, but on days when I am hurting, that’s what I want and need: a friendly face that says, “I understand, and I care.”
Love it…thanks for sharing!
Jerry
You’re most welcome. Thanks for reading and commenting! =)