“There are always two choices. Two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it’s easy.” -Unknown
I need to constantly remind myself to not do what’s easiest.
As I’ve mentioned before, I work from home. Many days, it’s tempting to pull open my laptop the second I wake up—which means I’ll likely spend the first couple of hours working in my pajamas, only to find myself feeling somewhat disconnected from the day outside my door.
I know this happens. I know that I feel better about myself when I get ready for the day as I would if I were going to an office. I know I’ll feel even better if I actually go somewhere to work—a coffee shop, a park, anywhere outside the 3-room apartment I share with my boyfriend.
And yet sometimes it takes a concerted effort to do this. Why? Because it’s easier not to.
And it’s easy to make excuses: Why bother taking a shower? I’m planning to work out later. Why bother going to a coffee shop? I can save money if I stay here. Why bother wearing something other than yoga pants? I’m not doing anything that requires me to dress nicely.
The answer to all these questions is the same: because it makes me feel good. And that alone is reason enough to push through my instinctive desire to do what’s easiest. It just plain feels better to get outside my house and my head.
Every day, we have countless opportunities to take the easiest, yet least satisfying road.
We can turn to the things that comfort and numb us instead of acknowledging the things we want to change. We can do what comes naturally instead of recognizing and honoring what we do passionately. We can justify the path of least resistance by ignoring our strongest instincts.
But this is a choice to grow bored with life—and that’s a shame, since there is a world of beauty and wonder waiting just outside the door we don’t usually open.
Today I’m opening that door by not taking the easiest road. Today I will make an effort. Will you?
Photo by danielle_blu
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Hi Lori, just a question for you that I’d love to hear your thoughts on. This is something I’ve struggled with when talking about this subject with friends. How do you think this relates to the Zen concept of “Least Resistance” i.e. water flows downhill following the path of least resistance. Because I agree that the easy road is not the road of growth for us, but I also believe that following the path of least resistance is the way that feels the most natural and peaceful (e.g. getting rid of folks with bad energy in our lives rather than taking the more difficult path of trying to fix those relationships), but I struggle with how to reconcile both of these beliefs. Just curious what you believe. Thanks for this post!
– Roger
You bring up an interesting point! I don’t know if there’s a one-size-fits-all answer to this question, but I know that for me, I am generally more satisfied when I don’t take the path of least resistance. For example, I’ve maintained a lot of relationships with people who could be seen as having “bad energy” because there were pieces of those people and relationships I valued.
In the past, I took the path of least resistance professionally–I was like a feather in the wind, just going with the flow. But as a result, I never defined what made me feel alive and passionate. Going with the flow can provide a lot of peace if you’re able to live completely in the moment, but for me, balance is necessary. I need to be able to enjoy the moment, but also know that on the whole, I am doing the things that support my growth and sense of purpose.
There are areas of my life where I’d benefit from taking the path of least resistance. I suspect that for most of us, it’s a lifelong journey to strike the right balance.
I would love to learn more of your thoughts on this!
Lori
Another good one. Here’s what resonated with me: “But this is a choice to grow bored with life—and that’s a shame, since there is a world of beauty and wonder waiting just outside the door we don’t usually open.” Thanks.
You once again bring up some good points. I too have benefited from taking the more difficult path and stagnated by taking the easy path many times in life. I agree with you, there probably is no right answer. I wonder if my own confusion stems from a lack of understanding of the zen principle. If you think about it, a river may take the path of least resistance, but it’s not afraid to carve through some pretty difficult territory. There’s more to understand in that saying maybe than I can see from where I’m looking. One more thing seems true, so many times in life (and reflected so much in nature), simple solutions are often best. Whether it be in design of products, or the natural order of things, the universe tends toward simplicity. Simple doesn’t always mean easy, but it often does (at least easier). I wonder if this principle is speaking to this simplicity of action, “going with the flow” of thoughts and feelings, and that will lead you in the right direction. Anyway, this a brain dump, I’m still confused. 😉
– Roger
Sometimes your posts fall in the category of “nice to know”. But sometimes, like today, I get the eerie feeling you are standing inside my mind, reading my thoughts as they percolate up to the surface. Thank you!
Your life should be perfect balance between making it happen and letting it happen ~ Satish Kaku
Good question Roger, I’d like to throw my thoughts in on this too. I practice martial arts and in Tai Chi, there is the same idea of least resistance, make/letting the technique be easy. It’s when you resist that techniques (events in life) become difficult. However, to get to the level so that it’s easy takes discipline and initially does not feel “easy”. Through the work, through going through the actions again and again, “easy” is attained. Sometimes making things feel easy and with the least resistance, takes hard work. Feeling easy is the goal, but it definitely takes work to get there. And the more you do, the easier it gets.
Thanks for letting me express this.
David
This was a great post, Lori.
I remind myself every day to do things that might not be the easiest, but that accurately reflect the person I want to become. It’s easy for me to waste my day away by doing what comes “easily” to me, like browsing Facebook or watching TV or doing other things that really won’t bring any satisfaction or purpose in the long run. It’s also easy for me to continue dating a person who I don’t see a future with simply because I don’t want to be alone.
But instead, every day I try to remember what my priorities and who I want to become. Instead of spending time on mindless activities, I focus on what’s more difficult but much more important to me, like writing on my blog and connecting with the people I care about. I broke things off with the guy I was dating, not because it was easy but because I knew it’s what was best for me and for him.
I think that over time, once our priorities and our values become deeply internalized and we are living every day from “who we really are,” things begin to change. I think that after some time, those things that were once difficult become easy, simply because we deeply know that they are right.
Maybe this helps answer the “path of least resistance” question? At first, there may be a lot of resistance because it often takes great effort to overcome our normal habits. But over time, the “right” path becomes effortless and easy, just like breathing. Over time, the right path (which was once difficult and met with resistance) becomes “the path of least resistance.”
Thanks David, that makes so much sense, I’m going to save your reply so I can refer to it again in the future. Thanks again,
– Roger
You’re very welcome! Glad it makes sense for you.
David
This is too funny. I read this as I sit here unmotivated in my bathrobe at 12:21pm! I too work at home and woke up, exercised, and then lost my motivation to do anything else. I couldn’t gone to the coffee shop and worked, but the excuse of money and cooking beans for the afternoon came up. I could’ve gone to the library for a few hours where I knew I would get some work done, but I didn’t. Instead I’m sitting here trying to think of something to write – and losing the battle. So, yes, I think I too will put some pants on, open the door, and take a path that involve the couch and TV.
Excellent blog post! I can REALLY relate because I work from home as well and while I try to go to coffee shops to work,”I can save money if I don’t” haha. It’s easy to stay in sweats and work from the couch but I do find that I’m not nearly as motivated when I do this.
Thanks for sharing and inspiring me to do what’s best for me rather than what’s easiest. 🙂
[…] Tiny Wisdom: Not Taking the Easy Road. […]
Your question, “Why bother wearing something other than yoga pants?
I asked myself a similar question yesterday. “Why bother wearing a nice bra? You’re only going to Walgreens.” My answer, “Because it makes me feel and look good.” I ended up with two guys asking for my phone number! Sometimes, it’s the small things that really make a difference in how your day unfolds.
This is so true. When I first started doing personal growth work, I used to just choose the opposite of what I was first inclined to do in a given situation and it, of course, was the hardest choice but it always was the right choice! Thanks for posting that.
Had to smile at the examples in your post: I work from home as well, and tend to be braless and unshowered even around the middle of the day. 🙂 I take my dog out as soon as I’m awake and I don’t need to be showered etc. for that, but I stay in the comfy clothes through breakfast (which is right after I take my dog out) and tend to get online and working right from breakfast. “Disconnected from the day” is a good phrase! Funny that just this morning (synchronicity!) I thought about this and realized I’m not really doing myself any favors by hanging around and procrastinating on everything except work and other tasks.
I’ll keep the freedom to choose whether I’m going to have a “pajama day” or not, but will be mindful about how it REALLY works for me.
Danielle, I could really relate to this post. I also have a website and blog and many days I DO stay in my pajamas, don’t get a shower because who’s going to see me, right?, and I don’t leave the comfort of my home. I’m very happy that way, but you’re still right. I feel even better if I freshen up and get out a little! Thanks!
Nina Knox
http://over50andhappy.com
I can totally relate…I’m unemployed right now (in the traditional sense) and spend most of my days working on my blog, writing a book and other creative pursuits. I can do all of these in my pajamas…so I often do.
This was a nice reminder that it’s good to get outside of your comfort zone and into the real world – that’s where the experiences are! (and other humans)
In fact, last week I took my work to a local coffee shop – not only did I get way more accomplished, but I felt connected to the outside world. And I got to talk to the barista about my blog (who ended up checking it out) – bonus! The world outside of your pj’s may not always be as comfy, but it sure does bring more opportunity. Thanks for the reminder!
Peace, love and a steaming cup of Zen,
– K
You’re most welcome! I figured work-from-homers would relate. =)
You’re welcome. It always motivates me to remember I am happier for doing things differently.
You’re welcome, Preston! It’s nice to know I am not alone with this struggle. I find that when I write about these things, it gives me that extra push to do what I know I need to do for me.
Yes, I have been bra-less on my fair share of days! I find that appreciate pajama days more when I don’t make them the norm. Even just putting on jeans puts me in a different state of mind. (Yoga pants feel a lot like pajamas). There was a time I actually put on skirts and dresses to go to an office–now a pair of jeans and a T-shirt feel dressed up!
That’s too funny. Someone told me that once years ago, when I was struggling with various challenges: “Whatever your first instinct, do the opposite!” More often than not, that proved to be the best decision for me.
Wow that really paid off for you then! I definitely find the small things make a big difference in my state of mind. For example, I recently decided to replace the trash barrel in my home office (read: kitchen). I originally bought a cheap plastic one, wanting to save money. But I look at it every day, and I think I’d enjoy looking at one of those nice silver ones. (When I’m not motivating myself to work somewhere else, that is.) =)
You’re welcome, Kate! It’s nice to connect with other work-from-homers. =)
That’s great, Kari! I stayed in until the afternoon today because I had laundry to do. Then I got our for about 5 hours, which I’ve been doing most days recently. Sometimes when I’m home all day I feel separate from the world (which is kind of ironic considering my level of connection online). Even if I’m just sitting with my laptop at a coffee shop, I feel like part of everything around me.
I know what you mean about getting lost in Facebook and TV. I find that I am happiest when I minimize the time I spend using technology.
I think you bring up a great point about things becoming easier with time. There’s a lot that comes more effortlessly to me now than it used to. Of course, there’s still a lot I know–and have known for years–is right that I sometimes still resist. Old habits die hard!
Wow! Really great to have discovered your posts yesterday and so reassuring to find other people feel that way about starting their day unshowered and not dressed to feel beautiful, i had thought it was just a bad habit of mine. Thanks for sharing your reflections.! Sent with love from england x
You are most welcome. Thank you for introducing yourself. It’s a pleasure to e-meet you!
Yes, OK, today I’m making an effort. That’s the thing about the questions you ask, Lori, at the end of your posts. They are a call to action. I admit I don’t always answer, but today I will. It’s a start anyway.
While I don’t share your opinion about the downsides of a relaxed work-at-home style (I absolutely luxuriate in and appreciate my options to NOT get dressed up, to delay my shower, etc.), I do have a similar issue about turning the door knob and going through the outside door. In all the advice-giving I’ve read about how to get going on and stick to a fitness program, I’ve never seen even one expert talk about how to turn that doorknob! OK, laugh if you will, but it’s true, that door (and its hard-to-approach knob) is my biggest obstacle to fitness.
Anyway, today I’m going to put my hand to the metal — and go to my very first ever pilates class. Wish me luck, folks!
How exciting that you’re trying Pilates! I’ve taken a couple of classes before, and I loved how it worked my core.
I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong with working in pajamas or not showering until later in the day. I just know that *I* am happier when I make that effort. Just putting on clothes I like and the jewelry I never wear can make a big difference in my state of mind. I forget sometimes that I have so much fun with fashion. I think ultimately we all have different “easy roads” that leave us unfulfilled. Very little is one-size-fits-all. I admire that you know what works for you and then you honor that.
Good luck, Kate! =)
when was this posted, because I need to use this as a article for school that requires a date it was posted and I don’t see a date around here
This was published on 9/18/11. Very cool, that you plan to use this for school! =)
i started quitting smoking two days ago, probably the 10th time in the last year. i struggle with panic attacks at times, and my mom died a few years which made things feel practically impossible to handle. i know i have my dad and my stepmom, the rest of my family, and reassurance in myself. i smoke weed, but i don’t even drink or party. as a young person of 18, i sometimes question the value.validity of taking the “harder” road by not using drugs or bad habits to cover emotions up. i try very hard to remeber self reliance. this article was the perfect find!
Hi Melissa,
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I know from experience how hard it is to quit smoking–and I’ve been tempted by my fair share of substances. Good for you for taking the harder road in that regard. It’s most definitely a better choice!
Lori
thank you soo much
You’re most welcome. =)