“Never allow a person to tell you no who doesn’t have the power to say yes.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
Many times in life we ask questions of people and then put way too much weight on their answers.
We ask people we admire if they think we have what it takes, and then consider their opinions fact. We ask people we respect if they think we should take a chance, and then follow their advice as law. We ask people if they’ll take a chance on us, and then interpret their response to be a reflection of our potential.
Other people can’t tell us how far we can go. They can’t tell us how our talents could evolve. They can’t tell us if our risks will pay off. Other people’s “nos” aren’t what limit our future–it’s our own “nos” that do that.
The other day, I read an interview with television producer and former American Idol judge Simon Cowell. He admitted that if Lady Gaga had auditioned for the show, he would have instantly rejected her because of her over-the-top persona. Like her or not, Lady Gaga has emerged as a force to be reckoned within the music industry–a bona fide record-breaking pop icon, who likely isn’t going anywhere any time soon.
Odds are she heard her fair share of “nos,” as does anyone with a dream.
Sometimes we hear “no” before we even get a chance to contact the person we really want to reach. We hear “no” from assistants, and publicists, and agents, and associates, and a number of other gatekeepers. Those “nos” are rarely final since a gate is made to be opened.
We can take all these “nos” and use them as proof that we shouldn’t move forward with our goals. Or we can learn from them, release them, and then keep moving ahead, driven by a deep internal yes that refuses to be ignored.
Today if you come up against rejection, remember: This does not mean “no.” It just means “not this way.”
Photo by Akuppa
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
“Today if you come up against rejection, remember: This does not mean “no.” It just means “not this way.”” – WOW! So wonderful. Thank you!
Love this … the Universe creates “backwards” from our desires – we feel the deep longing, and the Universe then goes into action, placing all the right chances/happenings/serendipities in our path that will bring us to our end result. However, much like a GPS system … we go on faith until we arrive – it’s only then that we can see we were headed in the right direction all along. Net/net … all of those “no’s” are right on track to where we want to be. SUCH a great posting – thank you Tiny Buddha!! 🙂 Namaste
wow! that’s such a fabulous message…
Perfect Lori! Since I’m lobbying Volkswagen to sponsor my trip to Blog World… I haven’t gotten any real no’s yet, but some maybe’s. I’m not giving up until Nov.!
Thanks for this!
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I really enjoyed this article and can relate to it. Growing up, I’ve been told to accept no as a final answer. The alternative would be to fight, which may turn out to be ugly. These couple of years I’ve learned new things through approaching situations differently – to fight does not mean that I have to be aggressive. Through gentle persistence I’ve managed to turn some situations around and was always pleasantly surprised when people reversed their decisions.
You are most welcome!
Thank you for sharing your perspective! I think it can be challenging to have faith when you don’t have proof that things will work out if you keep going–but the only way to accomplish anything is to believe that you can. What’s helped me is to remember that I can’t have faith in things working out exactly as I plan, but I can always have faith in myself!
I love what you wrote about gentle persistence. I think sometimes people want their minds to be changed. They just need someone to make the effort.
What a great idea! My friend actually got Ford to sponsor her “Wedding Road Trip,” which was a 2-month trip that saw her and her fiance all around the country visiting family. I’d love to learn how this turns out for you!
Hi Lori, I love your posts. They are so calming and inspiring… Keep writing, bright blessings – Tanu 🙂
Thanks, Tanu. I’m glad you enjoy them!
[…] it’s realer than real. The post, “Taking No for an answer” continued: Many times in life we ask questions of people and then put way too much weight on their […]
Thanks Lori I think you just saved my life! LOL
You’re welcome! Glad I could be helpful to you. =)