“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.” -Theodore I. Rubin
There are times when things get complicated and it has nothing to do with the choices we’ve made.
Sometimes everyone around us needs us for different things, right as our work is becoming more challenging, and we’re feeling confused about what we actually want to do with our lives.
Sometimes we receive medical or psychiatric diagnoses—and possibly both at the same time—right after being laid off and losing our health insurance.
Sometimes we feel we’ve made headway with emotional wounds from the past, only to find ourselves feeling challenged by the smallest of triggers and uncertain if we’ve made any progress at all.
Try as we may to eliminate the debt, responsibility, unhealthy relationships, and anything else that may cause us stress, life may never be simple.
We may always have different challenges to address in our lives. But maybe simplicity isn’t eliminating problems; maybe it’s learning to embrace them, face them, and grow from them, instead of seeing them as something to resist.
Perhaps “simple” has nothing to do with the circumstances in our lives, and everything to do with the mindset we foster in accepting and responding to them.
There are certain problems that need solutions more quickly than others. There are certain events that may seem more overwhelming than others.
We can either approach these situations with a sense of dread and anxiety, assuming we have no choice but to respond this way; or we can find our center, take it all one step at a time, and recognize that whatever happens, we can handle it and learn from it.
We can’t change that life will be complex at times, but we can cause ourselves a lot less pain by accepting that, instead of fighting it, questioning it, and wishing we could change it.
Life will inevitably involve challenges; and sometimes they’ll work in our favor. Problems allow us to create, innovate, and stretch both ourselves and the world we know.
The question isn’t whether life will ever be simple; it’s whether we’ll recognize all the opportunities within the complexities and find the strength to seize them.
What problem will you embrace today?
Photo by Paralog
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
Probably the only problem we face is resisting life’s challenges. Once we stop resisting and accept to take the required action there is no more “problem”. “Experience” takes its place.
I love your blog.
Astute. And very much needed today. Thank you.
You hit the nail on the head with this post, Lori. Last October I tore my Achilles Tendon playing football. I had surgery, lost my job, and was forced to move in with my dad. I was ANGRY. But I stopped being angry and started my blog. I wouldn’t have done that if my injury had never occurred and I was forced to make a very big change.
Now I welcome problems because they make you stronger!
This post beautifully captures the choice we have everyday: fear or focus. You are so good at capturing wisdom in a few, simple, powerful words. You make a big difference in my life. Thank you.
Fantastic post, Lori!
I used to have this idea that life would be great when… when things were the way I thought they should be… when life was less challenging… when things just worked. Every day I lived with this false idea of what a great life looks like I spent absolutely miserable.
Today I prefer to spend my energy and attention building a great foundation for a great life, and learning to ride the earthquakes. Today I have a great life and I’m happy most days.
I focus on the basics- the simple things I can do to support a great life. I take good care of my physical, emotional, mental & spiritual health. I choose to nurture relationships with positive and productive individuals. I am purposeful in my actions and I let go of the results.
My life isn’t perfect, and I don’t believe a perfect life exists, but I’m happy when things go my way and when they don’t, and that’s enough for me.
Chrysta
We are the only thing that stands in the way of personal happiness. We must chose to be happy.
I have had a lot of challenges recently but after I sat down and looked at what I “thought” to be failures… they were actually just what I needed to do the right thing and see what was important all along. Not to mention, that every major “want” I had in life has been already handed to me! I just had to realize it was already there =)
Wonderful post!!!
Lovely post! Thank you… going with the flow and embracing is so essential. A lesson learned time and time again. Blessings!
Thank you for helping me reframe my day.
Thanks Lori, wonderful post! My favorite quote:
“…But maybe simplicity isn’t eliminating problems; maybe it’s learning to
embrace them, face them, and grow from them, instead of seeing them as
something to resist…”
This really speaks to me,
– Roger
Just what I needed to read today and could not find the words…..Thank you again!!
🙂 Robin
Lori you said” Perhaps “simple” has nothing to do with the circumstances in our lives, and everything to do with the mindset we foster in accepting and responding to them.”
It just hit the nail on the head for me as I was taking a look today at the thoughts I was having and trying to determine exactly what my mindset was. Positive and productive…or not so much.
Very well said, Lori. Thank you for this important reminder!
I’m new to this blog and am getting so much from it too. I find that one of the most difficult “actions” to accept is the realization that sometimes inaction is the only answer. At times, acceptance is the only option. That’s what I’m working on right now.
No matter how perfect you think your life is, there will always occur certain problems and challenges. Going through life thinking that it will be easy will only hurt you in the end. We had a very serious situation in our family a few weeks ago. An event happened in a totally different way than we could have planned for. After being shocked for a day, I decided to see this event not as a problem, but as a challenge and I was able to take action. Tomorrow, we’ll fly to Berlin in order to start a process of working through this challenge.
When you change your midset and accept that there will always be tiny hiccups in your life, you can master them so much better.
You’re most welcome. =)
How wonderful you were able to do something so positive after dealing with so many challenges all at once. I love reading stories like that!
Thanks so much Lynn, and you are most welcome. I’m grateful for the opportunity to do it. =)
Thanks so much Jodi! I could relate to what you wrote about already having the things you want. I traveled all over the US in my 20s looking for things I never had to leave to get. Ironically, it felt easier to move a lot than to simply stand still. But what a wonderful feeling to be able to do it!
Blessings to you as well!
You’re most welcome!
You’re welcome Robin. =)
You’re welcome Celine!
What a powerful realization. Welcome to Tiny Buddha. =)
I think focusing on the basics is such a powerful tool for happiness. I never realized how important these tiny things really are, but I find it makes a profound difference in my state of mind when I do little things to feel balanced and connected. Even if the big things never feel “perfect” these little things keep me feeling so much happier than I used to feel!
You’re most welcome Roger. =)
Thank you so much. I’m so glad you enjoy it!
I know that feeling Elle! Simplifying my thoughts always makes everything seem a lot more manageable–and boy can they get complex sometimes.
…and what happened to walk down to your local neighborhood bar where “everyone knows your name” tell the barkeep about your bad day, she/he serves you your fave drink and all is good. For the time being. Problems are problems for a reason, and yes you can learn from them, but ’embracing and learning from them’ is what is called ‘post mortem’ of any project etc. You live and you learn and you move on. You don’t repeat mistakes.
I have to say I disagree with embracing problems, as in my world they’re making my life a pain in the back. Its all nice words, but I don’t think a person who just lost her/his job, only to find out she/he has cancer and whoops, no health insurance will find this comforting. Nor does it help anyone who just got cheated on… so much for embracing that problem.
I understand your thoughts on this. I think we all have different perspectives that we find empowering and comforting. When I received an expensive medical diagnosis last year and didn’t have health insurance, it helped me to think this way because it shifted my thinking to what I could control–how I responded to the situation. Granted, my condition is not fatal, so I can’t speak to what it’s like to be in that place.
Hi ILoveCanada,
I so understand what you are saying and I am not to make light of what you are going through. I am also battlting with a severe problem and all I wanted to do was hold on to the whys and the anger. But slowly I am letting go of all that, beacuse no matter how angry I will not get to a solution, so I decided to embrace the problem, learn from it and await a solution. I have also learnt to be very patient. Tinybuddha and prayer has really helped me get to where I am , its not easy as I still have days where I feel I can’t go on, but today I have grown a year older and I feel that there is more to life. I also read this passage and wanted to share it with you.
The Bible records: ‘When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. “Oh,
my lord, what shall we do?” the servant asked. “Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those are who are with them.” And Elisha prayed, “O Lord, open his eyes so he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.’ (vv.15-17 NIV). By God’s power, the servant saw angels. And God can help you to see His hand at work in what you’re going through today. He never promises to remove us from our struggles, but He promises to change the way we look at them. After listing many of his problems, Paul writes: ‘In all these things we have complete victory throughHim…’ (Romans 8: 37 GNT). We’d prefer another preposition. We’d opt for ‘apart from all these things,’ but Paul says, ‘In all these things.’ The solution is not to avoid trouble, but to change the way we see it. God asks, ‘Who gives a person sight?’ Then answers, ‘It is I, the Lord’ (Exodus 4:11). God let Elisha’s servant see an army of angels, Jacob see a ladder that went into heaven, and Saul of Tarsus see Jesus on the road to Damascus. The blind man said to Jesus, ‘…I want to see’ (Mark 10:51 NIV), and he walked away with clear vision. Today ask God to let you see His hand in it.
What fun! I just responded to a post on another site, then read your post here and discovered that what I said my previous response is supported by your post here.
At the other site, I was responding about ways I cope with the brain fog caused by menopause and aging. My method is Simplicity. Taking the simpler path in choices, working to eliminate from my life things that feel complicated, accepting the incidents of brain fog with simple humor, etc.
But it’s been hard for me to explain to others that for me Simple is *not* Simple-Minded as a philosophy and methodology. So when you say, “Perhaps ‘simple’ has nothing to do with the circumstances in our lives, and everything to do with the mindset we foster in accepting and responding to them,” it really hits home for me. Yes! it’s a mindset of acceptance along with choosing our simplest response to what life offers us.
Others have quote/responded to that sentence here too. It’s a biggie!! Thanks, Lori.
very nice page