“There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
I am writing this from a plane, much like a post I wrote last week. I’ve come to believe some of life’s most joyful moments happen when we least expected they would.
Just now one of the flight attendants came onto the loud speaker to announce there’s someone with a birthday today. After many of us sang to a man we couldn’t see, one guy yelled “Stand up!” and another hollered, “Speech!” And then we all started giggling, somehow conveying a Boston accent without uttering a single “R.”
It was a silly little moment, and yet it seemed kind of special. It was one of those rare occasions when a bunch of people who don’t know each other come together in good will and laughter.
I think it’s also the departure from normal conduct that makes a moment like this so engaging.
In school, whenever everyone was sitting quietly, reading, I felt this compulsion to stand up and start singing. I felt the same thing when everyone was quiet on a bus. In retrospect, I don’t think I was fantasizing about being annoying or distracting.
I was imagining what it would be like to break the mold of expected behavior and do something impulsively joyful. I was visualizing what it would be like to bust out of my little box, in a world where I am separate from everyone else, and create a moment that compels everyone around me to get out of their heads and smile.
It’s obviously not advisable to belt our show tunes during jury duty or in line at the DMV, but maybe there’s something to this idea of creating spontaneous joy.
It doesn’t require us to do anything but be present and accessible to the people around us.
It’s saying hello to someone else on the subway instead of avoiding eye contact. It’s offering a compliment to someone in line at the bank, instead of staring at our feet. It’s making a joke in a doctor’s waiting room instead of rehashing everything that could go wrong in our heads.
We spend so much of our lives rushing past each other, dreaming or stressing about where we’re going, and dwelling on where we’ve come from.
Maybe happiness is really being where we are, and choosing to smile with the people around us.
Photo by pelican
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
I used to be so very serious—and it was reflected on my face. After years and years of spiritual growth, now, a smile on both my lips and in my eyes are the norm—they come naturally.
But what is fascinating is how, with honest happiness showing on your face, strangers readily open up. It is almost as if there is a hunger to share, to be understood, to feel that simple emotional “touch” of verbal connection.
A heartfelt smile (and a “Hi”) is almost all it takes to unlock a deep, profound joy in others. And it is that simple.
Ha, my bet is that you were flying southwest! I love moments like that as well.
Thanks for that really cool! I have no doubts that being in a good mood is the key for finding happiness in our daily lives.
HI!
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Yep … just “be” and the rest follows. What a wonderful moment in the sky.
Hi Lori,
Firstly, I’ve just finished your book and, WOW! It spoke to me on so many levels. Adored it. Thank you, thank you.
I was reading the article above with the biggest grin on my face and have to agree -spontaneous, unexpected moments hold so much joy. It’s like when people start clapping at the movies in a really funny part, or when a bunch of straight-faced, bored people in a line (at the supermarket/ bank/ public toilet) start to chuckle when a child loudly announces something embarrassing to their parents.
There’s a connection and intimacy that comes from those moments – a sense of belonging to a tribe.
When this stuff happens, it always makes me think about the assumptions we make about people because of the expression on their face. Just because someone looks stony-faced in the supermarket line doesn’t mean they’re uptight or angry (and hey, whose to say they weren’t thinking the same of me?) Reminds me to smile at strangers as often as possible.
We all find happiness in the small pockets of joy.
Rach xx
Yes and I’m guessing we can all relate to those moments shown by the smile on our faces as we read this post. Made me smile anyway.
I’ve noticed the same thing Wayne! I know when I see a big, genuine smile, it makes a difference in my day. I think you should get a gravatar showing your smile. I would love to see it. =)
I was actually flying Jet Blue! It was a nice way to start the flight. After hearing the guy to my right snort laugh, he felt like a 6-hour neighbor. =)
Yes, absolutely! (The part about belonging to a tribe.) You bring up a great point about the assumptions we make about people. One thing I often do when I’m standing in line or waiting in a doctor’s office is think about the people around me as if we were related. So if someone looks grumpy, I’ll think, “Uncle Mike couldn’t sleep again last night!” I know it’s kind of odd, but I find that I tend to see my family members through a lens of compassion and understanding, and I like extending that lens to everyone around me.
Thank you for the kind words about my book! I’m so glad you enjoyed it. Incidentally, if you’d be open to writing a review on Amazon, I would appreciate that. (If you have time!) http://amzn.to/oydElt
You’re most welcome, and I totally agree! =)
Same state of mind….lol you sound like an Aquarian…Much Love and many blessings
I’m not sure if this comment was directed toward me, but if it is, love and many blessings to you as well. =)
“In school, whenever everyone was sitting quietly, reading, I felt this
compulsion to stand up and start singing. I felt the same thing when
everyone was quiet on a bus.”
I did this too! I vividly remember sitting in an exam, wondering what would happen if I just got up and started dancing up and down, between the desks. Or if I just shouted out or laughed out loud. I always thought I was the only one… 🙂
LOL Very cool to know I wasn’t the only one! =)
So often I’ve have this same urge – and more often now than in the past, follow the urge – to startle people with uncommon happiness, or as they may see it, with kindness or friendliness. As you imply, it “works” when it’s not a strategy, but when it’s a life style. Even unhappy people can sense the difference between authentic and fake. Well, okay, even some of the unhappy people can sense it :-]
So true. I think we’re all hungry for real, authentic, kind connections.