“Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.” -Theophrastus
There are certain things I don’t want to do that I sometimes feel I should.
Case in point: A lot of people who run blogs similar to Tiny Buddha eventually begin coaching, running seminars, and offering eCourses on personal development.
Many of them email me with opportunities for partnerships. I respect and admire them. They’re insightful, well-intentioned individuals who are sharing what they’ve learned to make a difference and make a living.
But the reality is I have no interest in following their lead. I run this site because it fulfills me; and while I appreciate that it helps sustain me, I simply don’t want to spend any of my time teaching, coaching, or running self-help programs.
I’m happiest when I spend my time writing and engaging in creative pursuits. This is what I know is right for me. Regardless of how much money I can earn by partnering with other people in the personal growth sphere, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt it’s not something I want to do.
The only question that remains is: How willing am I to honor that knowledge?
This, I’ve found, is where things can get complicated. It can be tempting to lose focus of what we actually want if we compare ourselves to other people, or start shifting our attention away from the activities we enjoy toward the income we could generate doing something else.
The irony, however, is that money is not what makes our time feel valuable. It’s the sense that we’re doing what we want to do in the way we want to do it.
That being said, money is necessary to live, and sometimes we need to take on work we don’t love to make ends meet or get from A to B.
But once we’re in a place of enough, we’re faced with two options: base our choices on what earns the most; or based them on what feels valuable to us individually. This will be different for everyone, meaning we truly need to own our choices and resist the urge to compete or compare.
My genuinely happy place might look like your comfort zone; your fully content might look like my inauthentic.
These are our hours to fill. Only we know what makes them feel valuable—and only we can do something about it.
Photo here
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
- Web |
- More Posts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
i love this
Your site is a place I come to daily for a little moment of mindfulness.
For what it’s worth – you should only follow your heart and not someone else’s.
Only if it authentic to you will it be so to others – that’s why I connect to your blog daily.
‘It’s the sense that we’re doing what we want to do in the way we want to do it.’
This one statement has touched me and beautifully explains how I am feeling right now. I wish I could do what I want the way I want to do it. But I am living in hope that it will happen soon. Although today I feel like hope itself is starting to slowing leave my body, don’t really know how much more I can take…
Yes!
Loved your article in Tricycle.
Thank you for this. You have no idea how your last paragraph hits home. I just had a huge fight with my sister and brother all in one night and the things she said about how I’m living my life made me realize that we both have different concepts of what success is. I’m living a Spiritual Centered life and I no longer look at the obtaining of material things as a sign of wealth nor success. As long as I’m at peace with myself and I’m able to help others achieve it then I’m content.
I needed to read this Article at this very moment.
Love & Blessings,
Trudy-Ann
Hope I think never leaves your body, I believe we hold it in our hands ….even if our fists are clenched. It’s what we need to hold onto and keep alive. Hope will never abandon you.You may not like how long u have to wait for fruition, but when its the right time,,,Hope is what gets us through. Please do not let go.
Jacqueline
You have nailed it to the bottom. The passion vs money is explained so clarity and so simply. Can’t appreciate it enough.
I can’t possibly love this any more than I do in this perfect moment. Thank you for these wisdom words. As I prepare to end one stage of career while contemplating the “what’s next question” I lovingly remind myself of this very sentiment: no comparing…no competing…do only what is authentically mine to do. ~
Thanks Jacqueline x
“These are our hours to fill. Only we know what makes them feel valuable—and only we can do something about it.”
Thank you, beautifully said.
Yes, those ‘comparisons’ can get you…..steer your own course, there’s value in that
be good to yourself
David
Lori,
When we live our truth, our enough varies from person to person. And when I feel ‘should’ I know it is a scarcity based mentality for me…and I probably truly ‘shouldn’t’. In a heart based life, “enough” isn’t necessarily money or something tangible, enough is immeasurable and some people do not understand that. I find we do not “need’ to understand each individual path, just to honor them. As you say, each path differs, and I *love* that you remind us not to compare 🙂
You are most welcome Trudy Ann. I feel much the same as you, and it’s liberating to embrace it!
Thanks Marty. I’m so glad you enjoy the site. =)
You are most welcome. =)
You’re most welcome! How exciting that you have a new adventure ahead. =)
Thanks Joy. This idea has really started to make sense to me over these past few years. Before then, I always made decisions based on what I thought I was “supposed” to do, or what other people chose to do. Realizing that each path differs, and that’s okay, has helped me feel much more at ease with my choices–and much more to connected to what I genuinely want.
I’m glad this resonated with you! =)
Thanks so much Grace!
Sending lots of love your way Tina. You are in my thoughts!
That’s really stand up of you to know when to say “no” – especially when you are already content with the work you have. That takes true wisdom and self-knowledge.
Another perfectly timed message! Thank you for this. We are going through a very difficult and challenging time, but your posts are such perfect moments. Calm in the storm, so to speak, and valuable reminders of what is real. Thank you!
I read this at exactly the right moment. I’ve cut back on a lot of the responsibilities I once held because my heart just wasn’t in them anymore. I find it extremely hard and unnecessary to keep up with things I don’t really wish to be doing. At first I worried this would make me look lazy and then……I stopped caring what others think. I’ve found I’m so much happier with a more simple life! There can’t possible be room for new and good things to come into my life if I’ve jam packed it with activities and responsibilities I don’t even care for. Out with the old…in with the what’s next!!
love,
Sarah
I’m with you Sarah! I feel much more at ease when I keep things simple. I really don’t like having a jam-packed schedule, and no amount of money would justify that to me.
You are most welcome Beth!
Thanks Steven. I sometimes struggle with following my instincts, but I’ve gotten a lot better at it over these past few years.
I LOVE this post. My dream is to write, and hopefully make a living out of it someday. I also notice that many writers on the web seem to naturally expand into coaching and personal development, but there’s a big part of me that feels this would be out of sync with what I truly want to do. You’re proof that writing alone can bring fulfilment and sustainability to your life, as well as inspiration and joy to others. Please keep following your own heart, and I’ll follow mine too.
Well said! I agree with you that it truly takes paying attention to our own version of Happy Place to decide what we do (and don’t) want to spend our time doing/being. I appreciate the tone of this post–being fulfilled is not the same as being “productive”. Indeed, these are OUR hours to fill. Thanks so much for the reminder, Lori!
Sounds good Rebecca. =) I took a look at your blog. I love this: “Why not go easy on yourself? Stop, close your eyes, and breathe. Look
around you. You’re on your own journey. You’re your own success. Smile.” =)
You’re most welcome! I’ve been tempted to compete and compare at times–then I always ask myself, “Will this really fulfill me?” Most often, I know it won’t!
Thank you Lori 🙂
This post is exactly why I am glad I love reading your posts! Thank you for staying true.
Thank you for your comment! It really means the world to me to know to know Tiny Buddha makes a positive difference in people’s lives.