“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” ~Dalai Lama
My boyfriend and I spent a couple of days in Las Vegas for Valentine’s Day. These days I get excited about the buffets and shows, but formerly, I found the city a little depressing.
First, I felt sad for the people who seemed a little lost, either for having lost vast quantities of money, or for having lost a part of themselves (something I know all too well).
Secondly, I felt the inevitable crash that follows overstimulation and excess of any kind. (I had a love/hate relationship with both).
But there was more to it than that. When I first went to Vegas years back, I felt like I was standing smack dab in the middle of a lifestyle I couldn’t afford. Amid the sea of tight designer dresses, in my cheap, modest clothes, I feared I looked out of place.
I also found the luxurious ambiance of most casinos stressful. Every time I passed a majestic fountain, or a fancy velvet couch, or a store full of lavish spa items, I thought about how simple my own apartment was. I couldn’t simply enjoy my surroundings because I was too busy wishing I could own it all.
During one trip, though, something occurred to me: the world is full of beauty I can take in, regardless of what I have—but I will never be able to appreciate it if I’m too busy trying to hold onto it.
This isn’t only true of all that glitters. It’s true of all the sights, sounds, and moments we may want to bottle and carry with us forever.
We can’t fully appreciate a picturesque sunset if we’re wishing it would never rain again.
We can’t fully enjoy a moment of true connection if we’re wishing we’d never feel alone again.
We can’t fully savor a relaxing day if we’re wishing we’d never be busy again.
Maybe the key to happiness is to focus less on making moments last and more on making them count.
We do that by choosing to fully experience them instead of wishing they wouldn’t end.
It’s human nature to wonder if we’d be happier with more. Perhaps the key is to work with that instinct and realize we can have more joyful experiences if we’re willing to cling to less.
Photo by {maira.gall}
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
- Web |
- More Posts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
I know these moments of wishful thinking and wanting to hold on to a moment so very well. But they ruin these moments, that could be a source of pleasure, completely.
“… and realize we can have more joyful experiences if we’re willing to cling to less.”
So true. I live in a travel trailer. I travel the country with no fixed place that I call home.
I own about a weeks worth of clothes.
Today, I looked out the window at a beautiful lake in central Texas. Ducks, white pelicans, rolling grass hills, and a sunrise reflecting off the water. In a few days, I’ll move on and something just as beautiful will replace it.
Life/God/Her will always provide gifts if we are willing to open and surrender to Her.
Living this simple—clinging to less—I’ve never been happier.
Lori I find this to be oh so true…”Maybe the key to happiness is to focus less on making moments last and more on making them count.”
Because at the end of the day, there are no ordinary moments.
I love this very much….
Thank you for this post. This is something I struggle with a lot. Trying to gain more of what I see to have for myself.
When I was going through my divorce, I told my ex he could have anything he wanted. I didn’t have an attachment to any of the “stuff” in this house. Later I did realize I missed the big flat screen tv that the kids and I used to play wii on…but I survived that one.
I find so much more in the experiences…I love our travel books, and the baby books I have. Those are the membories I cherish…not the living room chair, or the artwork on the wall.
Moments with the ones you love are what I cherish most.
Wow what a wonderful way to live and experience the world! I used to tour the United States for work, and I loved knowing that I had everything I needed in my two suitcases. It was a liberating feeling to live on less and recognize how little I actually needed.
Yes, so true!
I’m with you. I know if I had more money that’s what I would spend it on–adventures and experiences with the people I love!
You’re most welcome. =)
I’m so glad you enjoyed it!
It really is the simple things in life. Thank you for a wonderful reminder!
You’re welcome Renee! =)
First of all thank you for your words of wisdom and i really enjoy reading your post and people’s feed back here. It has taught me lot of way that i would not have otherwise..I also do believe in simple way of living, less stress way of life and to appreciate more in life.
You’re most welcome Mieko. =)
Interesting, I spent a few days in Vegas recently. Following Vegas went to grand canyon. The canyon made the Las Vegas strip seem puny. The artificial/superficial in Vegas to me lacked integrity. Seeing both was invigorating and helped me to understand a lot about life.
Those are certainly two very different experiences! I’ve actually never been to the Grand Canyon, but my boyfriend and I are planning to go soon. There’s something about being in nature that just makes me feel so peaceful and complete.
I find beauty in most anything, but I came to the realization yesterday after mulling over the dreaded task of emptying my storage unit and getting organized that if it suddenly all just disappeared, I really wouldn’t miss it. The beautiful clothes and shoes I had to have are just that….had. I told my mom on the phone that I had come to the conclusion that we can still appreciate beauty, even if it’s not our own. The appreciation of beauty is more important than the beauty itself and it takes up a lot less physical space!!
Indeed! Especially since I’ve been traveling quite a bit, I realize the beauty of having less. It’s freeing to not feel attached to so much, and there’s always beauty to appreciate, whether it’s “ours” or not!