“Success will never be a big step in the future; success is a small step taken just now.” ~Jonatan Mårtensson
We often talk about releasing the fear of failure to create motivation and momentum, but I’ve found that there’s another obstacle that can keep us from taking risks: the fear of success.
Success in any pursuit requires responsibility. At one point, I decided this was one thing I didn’t want. I didn’t want people to depend on me. I didn’t want to create conditions in my life that I needed to maintain with consistency, both in effort and earning.
I wanted the freedom to drop everything in a heartbeat so that I never had to feel trapped. This felt safe to me. If I never chose to rise too high, I’d never have to fall too far if I messed up; I’d never had to worry about disappointing anyone; and I’d never have to consider that maybe I didn’t deserve any attention or acclaim I might receive.
Perhaps you can relate. Maybe a part of you feels resistant to the changes that might ensue if you advance professionally or personally. Maybe you’re afraid that you’re not good enough, which makes you want to sabotage yourself when opportunity arises. Or maybe you just plain don’t want things to be any different than they are now.
If the last one is true—you truly don’t want to lose the weight, or get the job, or start the business, or whatever it is that success might mean to someone else—then you’re in a good place. You’re not afraid of success; you’re simply content with the way things are.
But if you are scared, and somewhere inside you a quiet voice is begging for growth, you owe it to yourself to question what’s really holding you back.
We all deserve to live lives that feel passionate and purposeful. And the world needs for us to find the courage to do the things we want to do—not because we’re chasing success, but because we want to make a difference, and we know we deserve and can handle whatever that entails.
My success is learning and writing every day, regardless of how Tiny Buddha grows. What is success to you—and are you going for it?
Photo by Frames-of-Mind
About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She started the site after struggling with depression, bulimia, c-PTSD, and toxic shame so she could recycle her former pain into something useful and inspire others to do the same. You can find her books, including Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and Tiny Buddha’s Worry Journal, here and learn more about her eCourse, Recreate Your Life Story, if you’re ready to transform your life and become the person you want to be.
- Web |
- More Posts
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 
This piece is really speaking to me today, Lori. Recently I was about to start a new project. In the first week I was excited and thinking this could work, and if it doesn’t it’s something that I enjoy. As days go by, doubt and fear started to grow – what if I end up committing too much of my time or neglecting other things in my life? What if I fail? I still have fear but I decided to remind myself of the times that I’ve tried and succeeded, and that if I’ve done it before, I can do it again.
This post completely resonates with me. I’m in the midst of taking a huge leap of faith, quitting an unsatisfying job I am in, to pursue my passion of travel & editorial photography. This “voice begging for growth” knows this is the right move to make, but I’m terrified of not knowing where it will lead, or if I deserve to pursue what I really want. I’ve been asking daily for signs to come into my path, affirming that I need to take this leap, and to get over the fear I feel – Thank you for posting Lori! 🙂
Love this! And the timing is impeccable. Thank you.
This is very true. I’m a 22yo male, and never had a girlfriend before. I would always tell myself “you need a job, you need this and that, you’re not ready” etc. I’ve even been approached by girls before, looking to get to know me, but my anxiety cripples me. I now have a job, and most things I would need to start a relationship, but for some reason, I feel like the fear of obtaining a successful relationship is holding me back. Part of me wants a relationship badly, and the other parts wants to stay where I am now, not having to worry about dates, romantic ways to spice up the relationship, and talking with my partner every day. I know that I need to overcome this to better my life, but it really is being afraid of success.
[…] reading here: Tiny Wisdom: Are You Afraid of Success? | Tiny Buddha: Wisdom … This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged and-momentum, another-obstacle, […]
My fear has always been of success….I’ve been criticized by my loved one’s my entire life. Doing well just got me more and more citicism…So being successful meant I was going to constanly battling the nasty words of those I love.
I’m working on moving past that now. Because i know that there negative words are just their own fears of failure in themselves…and I know that a lot is just residual voices in my head.
Redefine success…don’t put yourself so high, that not even the winds can reach.
Be bold and be brave…
xoxo
This spoke right to my heart! I’ve always said “I’m not afraid of what I can’t do but of what I can do!” The older I get the more I realize it’s time to take a leap of faith. There is a calling inside of me & I need to explore & find out what it is to discover my true happiness!
Thanks for the post I thought I was the only one who felt this way!!!
Quiet voice begging for growth… something which is often hidden in us all. Thank you for sharing. This article is relevant to all of us, including yoga teachers, how they wish to take this path and how we all interpret success along the spiritual journey. Namaste
You are most welcome!
You’re most welcome. I’m excited for you! =)
You’re welcome, Jasmin. I think the best success we can have in life is to identify and honor what success means to us, whether it’s personal, professional, spiritual, or all of the above!
“I still have fear but I decided to remind myself of the
times that I’ve tried and succeeded, and that if I’ve done it before, I
can do it again.”<~ I love this. I think sometimes we forget how much we can do and how well we handle changes and responsibility. Best of luck with your new project! =)
Wow I’m so excited for you! How wonderful that you’ve created this space to explore your passions. I think the world would be a happier place if we could all find the courage to do what we really want to do. I know I am more satisfied when I enjoy how I’m spending my time, regardless of the money it earns (so long as I have enough).
I can relate to what you wrote on so many levels. Before I got together with my boyfriend, over two years ago, I was mostly single for almost a decade. I had tons of fear around relationships, and I thought it was just a fear of being hurt. I eventually realized that a big part of me was also afraid of being loved–which sounds so strange in retrospect. I’m glad you’re working to overcome your fear. When you’re ready, you will be so glad you did. =)
I have found that when people are unfulfilled, they have a difficult time supporting other people who are taking strides toward their own fulfillment. Congrats on moving past that. I know it isn’t easy!
Hi Lori, did you ever write anything on the subject ;afraid of being loved? I would love to hear about your experience with that. I struggle with that issue and seem to only attract the types of men that proofs me right! Hence I have been single now for long time even thou I so desire a family. Thank you for Tiny Buddha! I love this website!
Hi Nita,
I haven’t actually, but that’s a great topic. I will definitely address this some time soon. Thank you for the kind words about the site. I’m so glad you find it helpful!
Lori
Sounds familiar, the fear of success can be funny and frustrating at the same time. Especially so, when one has first-hand negative experiences with people who have a habit of challenging the successes of others around them. I guess the adage “Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it” is a reflection of that somewhat regrettable phenomenon.