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Search Results for "anxiety" — 1295 posts

3 Things I Did to Relax When I Was Stressing About Reaching My Goals

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“Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace.” ~Joan Borysenko

Stress and my own expectations were killing me. I was taking care of my physical health with exercise four to five days a week, eating right with lots of plants and vegetables, and sleeping enough, but my health was getting bad.

I had IBS that was getting worse, and I wasn’t sleeping well (even though I spent enough hours in bed). In other words, I was doing everything right, or rather, all the external physical stuff right.

I was doing something that virtually everyone agreed was …

How to Let Go of Expectations: Lessons from My Dog

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“Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.” ~Tom Robbins

Have you ever finally gotten something you longed for only to find that things didn’t work out as expected?

I know I have.

I firmly believed that having a dog was the answer to some of my desires, such as having more meaning in my life and receiving love on demand from another life.

I bought into irrefutable sayings like, “Dogs love unconditionally,” and, “Dogs are man’s best friend,” and, “Dogs are loyal.”

As it turns out, the reality can be very different. And yes, those …

How to Listen to Your Body (and Become Happy Again)

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“Keeping your body healthy is an expression of gratitude to the whole cosmos—the trees, the clouds, everything.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

It’s embarrassing, isn’t it?

You don’t want to make a fuss about tiny health annoyances.

But you feel lethargic for no apparent reason. You get constipated, especially when you travel. You have difficulty sleeping.  And your hormones are all over the place.  You hold onto that niggly five or ten pounds like your life depends on it.

Sound familiar? I’ve been there too.

I was working at a dream job and living on the French Riveria. I was paid …

You Don’t Need Other People to Validate Your Feelings

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“When you give another person the power to define you, then you also give them the power to control you.” ~Leslie Vernick

It’s coming up on the anniversary of when I left a relationship that was both my unhealthiest and my greatest catalyst for growth.

While I’m able to see that he was a spiritual assignment I needed in order to evolve, I can’t help but feel resentful. But what surprises me isn’t my anger at him; it’s my anger at myself. Let me explain.

Disastrous relationships are nothing new for me. My past is riddled with complicated, codependent, and …

Why We Feel Stuck in Life and the Secret to Dealing with It

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“It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings.” ~Dale Carnegie

We’ve all felt like we’re drowning in mud.

You feel stuck, worthless, and confused.

You want to move. You should. You have to. But you can’t.

And then it evolves into anxiety, fear, and overwhelm.

But what if—just what if—being stuck isn’t the problem, but how we perceive it?

The Truth About Being Stuck

Every year, I have periods where I feel “stuck.”

Yet when I look closer, I see that “being stuck” is a label I give to a natural part of …

How to Love Your Life at Every Age

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“The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment.” ~Pema Chodron

When I was twenty-seven, a wave of dread swept over my life.

As I looked to the future, all I could see was the beginning of the end. Pretty soon, it would all be downhill.

Why the doom and gloom? I was approaching thirty!

Like many young people in their teens and twenties, I regarded “The Big 3-0” as the end of the party.

I would become uncool (or perhaps more accurately, even less cool than I already was). I feared turning into my parents.…

4 Questions to Help You Let Go And Allow Life to Happen

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“If you let go a little you will have a little happiness. If you let go a lot you will have a lot of happiness. If you let go completely you will be free.” ~Ajahn Chah 

I’m a smart woman. And being smart gets me in trouble. I know how to cross my “T’s” and dot my “I’s”—to prepare for what might come. I know how to plan, to pack, to book tickets, to be the perfect tour guide.

I know how to make lists—very well. I know how to calendar myself and how to produce events. I know how …

How to Free Yourself from Bitterness by Forgiving Others

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“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.

“Stop the world, I want to get off!” I felt like screaming this phrase at the top of my lungs during a difficult period of my life. Obviously, stepping off terra firma into outer space was not an option; what I desperately needed was to be free of chronic fatigue, stress, anxiety, and negative emotions and behaviors.

Sleepless nights spent rehashing painful events past and present also needed to end.

Leading up to this period, I had struggled through a lengthy and emotional divorce …

4 Simple Questions That Can Revamp a Sensitive Soul’s Health

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“Quality questions create a quality life.” ~Tony Robbins

Have you ever wondered, maybe even worried, “Why is it easier for others to take care of their health? Why do they have more willpower? Less struggle?”

And, “What am I doing wrong?”

I used to ask myself all this, and more. It was confusing; I tried to eat healthy and exercise, but my body argued back. Weight issues. Fatigue. Chronic pain. Injury after injury.

The answer seemed obvious.

Try harder.

But doing so made the issues worse, or another problem started. Or both.

The doctors all said my symptoms didn’t make …

Unlearning the Self-Loathing That’s Passed Down by Generations

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“Embrace and love your body. It is the most amazing thing you will ever own.” ~Unknown

The first time I made myself throw up to feel skinny, I was five years old. My grandmother still loves to tell this story—she thinks it’s funny.

The story goes like this: I tell my grandmother my stomach feels sick. She rubs my belly. I tell her it still hurts. She asks me if I want to try the “potion.” I say, “Yes.”

The “potion,” as I realized in an unrelated context in my early twenties, was syrup of Ipecac—a strong vomit inducer. I …

Why You Feel Alone with Your Feelings and Why You Never Are

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“Life is actually really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” ~Confucius

There were times when I felt that my thoughts had complete control over my life. I could convince myself of anything, really. My thoughts would rarely lift me up and, instead, convince me I would fail.

I would fail at relationships. I would fail at my job. I told myself I was a failure.

I honestly believed that I was the only one who experienced this level of personal rejection. Of course, I knew that it wasn’t unique to me because I knew other people struggled …

A Message for Those Who Feel Lost and Are Looking for Answers

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“Wherever you go, there you are.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

On June 24th I got in a cab at the corner of 72nd and Broadway headed to JFK, hauling two huge suitcases full of medications, bug spray, sunscreen, gluten-free foods, a bug tent (really), and cheap cotton clothing.

I checked in, made my way to the gate, and embarked on a twenty-four-hour flight to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam.

Months of confusion and identity crisis brought me here.

Almost a full year ago, after returning from performing with a national tour that ended up being a lot less fun than …

Letting Go and Enjoying Annoying Situations

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“Never forget: This very moment, we can change our lives. There never was a moment, and never will be, when we are without the power to alter our destiny.” ~Steven Pressfield

This week I had the pleasure of waiting in a queue. Now, that is not normally something that I would be able to say, as I’m not the most patient woman.

The queue was for the immigration department in Chiang Mai, Thailand—a busy place full of people who were stressed because they were unsure about where to get a number for their place in the queue, unsure if they …

You Are Not Your Thoughts and Feelings, and They Don’t Have to Bring You Down

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“Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. ” ~Reinhold Niebuhr

Think about the future! Don’t do something you’ll regret! You need to plan for tomorrow! I wish I hadn’t done that! Will things ever work out? Why did they do that? Will I ever find happiness? Why has life made me the way I am? What’s wrong with me?

Around and around it went inside my mind, a never-ending internal conversation full of questions and uncertainties—the not knowing driving me insane …

Learning to Let Go and Trusting That We Will Be Okay

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“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” ~Steve Maraboli

While going through some major life changes, I am finally learning to let go. I am learning to relinquish control. And I am learning that everything will be okay in the end.

I am in the middle of my first pregnancy. I thought I could control my body. I thought I could control my outcome.

Something I regularly preach to anyone who will listen is that we can’t control the outcome of any situation. We can only control our actions.

That means …

How to Stop Fearing the Worst and Worrying About “What Ifs”

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“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.” ~Charles H. Spurgeon

There’s nothing like a real health emergency for putting insignificant worries into perspective.

By the time I was pregnant the second time, I had left my struggles with anxiety largely behind me. Having been to therapy years earlier to find coping mechanisms for managing my ever-present phobias, I was in a fairly good place when I learned I’d been given a second chance at having a child.

But worry is as much as part of me as breathing, and having lost …

7 Ways to Live a Less Fearful, More Peaceful Life

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“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when adults are afraid of the light.” ~Adapted from Plato

I was digging in my half-empty refrigerator one day, searching for leftovers, when my phone rang. I glared at it wondering who the hell had the nerve to interrupt my hunt for sustenance.

I grabbed the phone with pure agitation and put it to my ear. On the other end of the line I heard a faint voice mutter the three most unforgettable words I had ever heard: “Dad is gone.”

The …

Letting Go of Guilt About What You “Should” Be Doing

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“Beware the bareness of a busy life.” ~Socrates

It was December 26th. The day after Christmas. Ten days after my daughter’s first birthday. I was sitting on the floor coiling Christmas lights when I began to try to stand up. Almost immediately, I sunk back down to the floor.

I was tired. I was physically tired. I was emotionally tired. Even my soul felt tired.

In that moment, I couldn’t help but wonder, how did I get here? Sitting on the family room floor after two beautiful family events—my daughter’s birthday and Christmas—and my bones, heart, and soul …

Do You Think You Need to Be Perfect to Be Accepted?

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“What you resist, persists.” ~C.G. Jung

There it is: Perfection, Eureka!—the holy grail of achievement, like an elusive mirage in the middle of a desert or that pesky little pot of gold we are always hunting for at the end of the rainbow, purring with all of its possibilities, protection, and promise.

Yet, despite its charm and the value we tend to assign to the trait, as well as on those who possess it, perfectionism ultimately leads to the same destination. In striving for perfection, we may soon find ourselves disappointed, dissatisfied, and even sometimes, knee-deep in suffering and denial, …

Treat Depression Without Medication: Interview with Jonathan Robinson and Book Giveaway

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Update: The winners for this giveaway have been chosen. They are: Marsha Law and Talya Price.

I experienced my first bout of depression at twelve years old, and by seventeen I so frequently felt despondent that my boyfriend questioned if I could go one day without crying. I could not.

My life became a series of self-destructive habits, from binging and purging, to drinking, to cutting myself—the first two to numb my feelings, and the last to feel something, a pain of my own choosing, which somehow felt like relief.

In my senior year of high school, I was …