I dont talk to people at my work. I am the quiet person in the whole team. But on the other hand i want to take up challenges and lead the team but anxiety is stopping me to achieve all the the things i want.
Hey Anita.. Thanks for checking. I am feeling bit better now. Its just I am frustrated with my job. Like I said before I am not satisfied with my job. I did tell my manager about taking new challenges. He promised me that new project will start soon and that will be challenging. But when I came back form vacation everything has changed. My manager will be still working on the existing project and i will be left with little amount of work. That just made me angry. Its been two years I dont see any growth in my career. I want to try a new job. But it would be hard for me to go through the interview process again because of my social anxiety. I want to take up new job and excel in my career but I am unable to do so because of my anxiety. It just sucks.
Thats what i told my brain. I will handle the anxiety when time comes.Everythibg feels so mundane.I am getting irritated alot easily.Since last year i noticed that i am getting angry easily.On top of that its gettibg hard to handle my stubborn kid who says no to everything.I am not happy with my current job.Everything is a trigger for me now.I just feel like a failure.
I started feeling anxious the moment i entered home. I was always surrounded by family members in India so its so quiet and depressing here. My brain started telling me that i felt less anxious in India and its more lonely here. So I am worried about if I should settle here or go back to India and take care of my parents. How will i survive this anxiety when i get old ? I am in my mid thirties lol. My brain started getting worried about future.
Yeah, I know. I felt so grateful when I was in India. There was lot of traffic in India. Some of my school friends were complaining about how thier husbands and in laws were treating them. There is no work life balance. It was chaotic. But when i came back to us i started missing my family.
It was good and relaxing. I miss my family (MOM & AUNT). My mom treated me like a kid again by cooking my favorite dishes for me, doing laundry and many other things. I miss her the most. I kinda feel lonely here.
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