Thank you for your thoughtful reply, Tannhauser. It is good to know that I am not alone in having this sort of experience. A lot of what you shared resonated with me — I am at a place in my journey where I feel like I am the rope in an internal tug-of-war. Your post highlighted something for me that I haven’t quite been able to articulate with the concept of no one telling me what I should be experiencing. This part is so difficult for me since I responded well to rules and structure. I want to get to a place where I feel peace and joy in my experience without needing some sort of institutional validation.

With Gratitude,

Zach