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Whitfield

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  • #415148
    Whitfield
    Participant

    It was love. The hope that things will/could change, etc. and of course the typical things like house, child,

    As mentioned I was looking for answers, it was not correct that I was looking for answers externally, but there are reason of course.

    Today I do not have that hope anymore, not really. Put aside all conflict and there is still this huge lack of affection, mutuality, connection, communication… Just to give some insight… our child never saw that she moved/stepped 5 steps towards me to hug, kiss, etc. me…

    #415147
    Whitfield
    Participant

    Hi guys, here one more time… not sure what happened to the text. Hope it turns out all right.

    My wife and I are married more than two decades. Both of us are conflict avoidant, she tends to passive aggressiveness, I am more of the people pleaser.

    For around one decade the relationship was great except for her silent treatment, sulking and defiance at times.
    Then we had a few setbacks (job, finance, house) and she went back to work, full time. From that time I felt that something is a bit off but I couldn’t determine what it was. Today I know that she became more self-centered, distant, less affectionate and put in less effort.

    4 years ago we had a major crisis. Her passive aggressiveness became more intense and frequent. I started to research. The research pointed quite clear to a personal disorder. She found out, felt betrayed and withdraw. I apologized but we never managed to get back to normal.

    One year ago I even chattet with other people.. similar to here. As well she found out, accused me of an emotional affair which I didn’t had.

    Today she seems OK but the relationship is just functional and quite single sided. Reciprocity, affection, connection, etc. all that is just not there and when I look back it has never really been there. This lack of connection let’s me think if that is the right relationship for me..

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