Hello Sushmita,

Some say the first cut is the deepest. Meaning the first love is very ingrained in the heart and mind. Yes, makes it very difficult to let go of the past. But, in life, one doesn’t stop eating after the first meal is done. When one finishes the first loaf of bread, there is another loaf. And so, for one to move forward, there has to be someone else. That way, the space that was taken by the first love can be displaced by the present time and space.

Memories and wishful thinking will cause you to suffer more than if you were able to let it go. And so that is the exercise, that when thoughts of the first love comes up to let it go. Do not follow or chase after it. Concentrate on your exams. Anytime those thoughts of him come, let it go. Do not think of him. Focus on your book learning. The more you make yourself work on the books and exam then the less hold those thoughts and memories will have their hold on you. You need the time away from those thoughts.

Having a new person in your life is not easy at first. Especially when you haven’t met him yet. So, bide your time and be open to conversations. When it is right, you will know. But, for now, you need to get your mind on your studies. Good luck to you.

Anita,

The reality of water contamination comes to mind. Better not drink contaminated water and get sick. I did, almost died of dysentery as a baby. I survived only for my mind to be contaminated by a different kind of water..

I am sorry that I can not explain this better. But, it really isn’t something words can convey. Rather the experience would better answer your question. Kensho, Satori, Enlightenment or whatever you wish to call it. Realizing the Buddha nature.

In that way, you would understand. Unfortunately, it isn’t something everyone will experience. The experience can be alluded to but never fully understood thru words. I mention something and your mind brings something else up. Would just leave it to be better understood at a later date.

There is the conventional wisdom and then there is the absolute wisdom. So, when the information given is not on the same level for the person to understand then it becomes lost to confusion. But, all it takes is the direct realization of one’s own innate Buddha-nature, a state of awakening where the illusion of a separate self is understood. It is thru this experience that one can understand what is meant. The concept of absolute truth can be alluded to but not truly understood until this direct realization.

Being the person with all the answers, can sometimes make it difficult to find someone who can give you the answers that you need.
But, if you need a friend who can listen and at times give you (some bad and some worse) advice then you have found the right place.
I can’t say that we won’t judge you but we won’t turn you away.

Yes, that was very nice Peter. Thank you. And it seems Roberta also understands it.

If you wish to dance then I will happily play the music.
If you wish to sing then I will sing with you
If you wish to teach then I will learn

How can a person be bad when they are reacting to the situation that has come up. When attacked, one defends themselves. Hind sight doesn’t change the facts. It only changes the way we look at it. If on the other hand you were well aware of your situation and had a different choice available to you, at the time, to diffuse the tension then you could say you made a bad choice. However, it still doesn’t make you a bad person. This character in your personality makes it possible for one to turn the other cheek. Yeah, not being a bad person. The fact that you are considering your position makes you not a bad person. The personal reckoning is learning that you have a fault and go about making changes from what you have learnt. You know the kind of person you are. Be a little more forgiving. Sorry, that is just my opinion.

Why is spirituality the death of the I? You are not separate of the body. If you drink wine then you mind becomes clouded. So the death of the I is not spirituality. Spirituality is the complimented of the soul with that which is beyond the body. It is an addition to my house not a subtraction.

Reckoning is an intentional move toward self-forgiveness by the person understanding what their own moral identity uniquely looks like.

Am I really a bad person??