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PathOfPeaceParticipantHello Anita,
How long have you been married? Have you run into this problem? When someones “Over Busy” no matter how much you try to help they build their life up to stay busy no matter what. I have been helping and nothing changed.
PathOfPeaceParticipantHey Wendy,
Reading your post made me angry. Why? Because its very rude of him to 1. be on you like white on rice about every little flaw (which we all have) 2. not give you props on the good things you have to offer (When he clearly offers up the bad) 3. I dont know what mollycoddle means….
Anyways, My reply is NO. Your not being overreacting or too sensitive. My advice is to tell him the classic line “If you have nothing kind to say, dont say anything”. As far as “facing the truth” just because he throws his opinion around doesnt mean its FACT. Tell him that, defend yourself. What might seem like a little problem after 3 years will be a real big problem in another 2 or 3 years if he doesnt fix his negative feedback because you will grow tired of the put downs.
Best of Luck, you deserve better. I as a man dont do that to my wife and wouldnt.
PathOfPeaceParticipantHey Ben,
Here is my two cents. In a nutshell your right. The moment you got the ring all hell broke loose. Correct, and its just the start. Dating/serious relationships are very very different from Marriage. Before you get married you can wing a lot of things, after you get married you need to make choices with the other over everything! And in the long run it can lead to some pretty long days over who will win.
Anyways, I have the same problem with my wife not getting along with family or wanting to be around them. I cant speak for all females but in my case its the whole jealous thing and being selfish. She just wants me to herself and wants everything her way. Case in point, your seeing her family more than yours. Not 50/50 is it? I call that selfish. Now that might or might not be the root of the problem. I will admit I didnt read your short story replies. Have you asked your other what the problem is? And whats the best way you can get what you want?
I believe in love, and I say Congrats on your new journey BUT dont think it will be like the movies because its not. Even when things are “Good” Married life is NOT for the weak. I know, 7 years in. Alot of what I had to say may seem harsh, but is 100 % bs free truth.
PathOfPeaceParticipantThanks everyone for the feedback and taking the time to write. I really appreciate it. A lot of good solid points have been made! And suggestions to reflect on. Hope everyone has a great week!
PathOfPeaceParticipantThanks for the feedback Eris,
I really appreciated reading what you had to say. I also grew up with my parents fighting and Im fine in a sense. Nothing from that era has changed me. And yes the term “Fight” for me is just another way of expressing to argue a point from both sides against each other. I can see your point when I look at it the real way its meant to be.
Thank you again for taking the time to write your response.
PathOfPeaceParticipantThanks for the feedback. I guess I didnt explain myself clearly. The Heated fights arent able to be resolved at that moment. They are 9 times out of 10 a day later or days later. Its just a matter of “In the moment”.
Whats your opinion on the other problem? Do you have children?
PathOfPeaceParticipantThanks Anita.
PathOfPeaceParticipantIm taking this pretty heavy right now. I fear the future with her and Im starting to get tired of trying to help a person who only wants to attack in return. Im getting to the point I want out of the marriage.
PathOfPeaceParticipantNo, that is all year long. She never looks inward to take blame for what she has done wrong or caused herself be become angry. Always pointing the finger outward. I know thats another topic for therapy but how do you get someone to look inward when they feel they arent to blame?
PathOfPeaceParticipantThanks Anita, I think your right but when I suggest therapy she claims its no good and gets angry. She believes everyone else is to blame.
PathOfPeaceParticipantAnita,
I was only joking about quitting my job. I have guilt because I “feel” like I dont spend enough time with each person who is important to me in life but I dont see where I can add time. As for family, wife, whoever…Its not that they have gotten….more interesting, I just enjoy being around them.
Im trying to figure out how to be “ok” with the feelings I have because I really dont see how I can improve the situation.
PathOfPeaceParticipantThanks CT, I think thats the next thing I will try to work on. Acceptance. Its not easy when the people in your life bring their problems to your front doorstep. I will try my best.
August 1, 2015 at 3:13 pm in reply to: If you are an Ex-Christian, please give your reason for doing so. #81025PathOfPeaceParticipantHello Friend, Well try this. Instead of jumping out of one boat and right into another. Why dont you research all religions? Take your time, and when you feel what makes the most sense to you go with that one. Thats what I did when I started asking the question “Why are we here?” After months of research and racking my brain I finally found my choice and I havent looked back.
You have to choose what to believe when your an adult with an adult mind. Cant just keep following what you learned as a child because you might choose different.
PathOfPeaceParticipantHello Bella,
I know your pain. People in general can be a challenge to meet or make friends with. As we get older, away from school people dont make a whole lot of friends it seems. You have the friends you grow up with, but sometimes they change (like you said) or fall of the planet. THe friends you make at work, but if you leave the job they often disappear in the long run. Then there is the strangers you just meet by chance and that can go either way. I myself had a ton of friends but now after years only down to one. Like someone else posted, make the most out of whos left in your life and try to make new friends along the way to doing life in general.
If you ever just want someone to talk to Im always around. I work l o n g boring hours with LOTS of down time.
PathOfPeaceParticipantJust tell Jim Jones and company you will take their thoughts into consideration and leave it at that. Living close to/ working with people that are “out there” is always going to be. I dont like some of the believes my neighbors/co workers have BUT cant move to my own island so I just shake my head, smile, and be kind. Could be worse, could be living next to drug dealers and bullets ripping through your house at 1am. Think about that. And dont drink the funny colored drinks from them.
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