Suze,

I am sorry for your suffering.

Sadly, today’s society puts a large emphasis on ‘making a living’ rather than ‘leading a fulfilling life’. From an innocent age, we are trained and programmed to perform mechanical tasks when we are adults in which very few are life-enriching. Because many of us have conformed to such a way of life, finding an individual who can (help) teach us wholesomeness is rare leading to many of us lacking purpose and lost once we make the realization.

This does not mean, however, that we are to remain permanently at a loss. This simply means that we must exert a little more effort than usual to undo the years of damage we’ve wrought upon ourselves in order to once again feel (more) whole. My teachers have taught me that delicate things require time and careful nurturing to thrive and prosper. Our lives are such things. We have to take things slowly. Rushing does not help nor is it productive. Similar to a complex math problem, we take the time to come to the right answer. While life contains more intricate aspects, a ‘right’ answers isn’t always correct. Instead, an answer which ‘resonates within us’ is what we should seek. In addition, do not fear should you not have all the answers. For, in fact, we are not meant to know it all. But just because we do not have an answer does not mean that we should be burdened. Sometimes, the answers arrive exactly when we’re supposed to know them. Also, not knowing an answer does not mean we should entirely give up upon our other learnings/teachings. We do not allow one person’s poor attitude dominate our entire view of life, do we? The same must be applied to our inner dealings.

As for your hobbies/passions seeming pointless in comparison to your humanitarian values, do not for a second think so. While it is benevolent to want to perform large(r) acts to aid humanity, do you not believe that showing others what it means to ‘being present’ (in your actions) to be of fulfilling nature? And while large acts are indeed significant, please know that small acts are just as significant in humanitarian pursuits.

I hope this helps. If not, this community will be here should you seek more of it.

Al

Kennisha,

I am sorry for your suffering.

While understandable to need to vent, it must be understood that we all, in one form or another, suffer. This truth makes it difficult for us to listen to one another’s problems while we have our own to tend to. While it is not wrong to try/want to be social with others, when we are troubled and wish to share I believe it is more important to do so with those we believe are more learned than with just anyone. And, if we do not have those around us, well, as you’ve done, the internet provides a great many avenues to seek those who are. This is not to say that I am one of those more ‘learned’ individuals. In fact, I am still quite the student. However, I will try my best to share with you what my teachers have taught me.

As I’ve mentioned, please do your best to recognize that we all suffer. When you come to realize this common relation we all share, you will find that our (negative) actions are not necessarily intentional. They are/seem only negative because it is possible we do not know any better. Understanding this will help us remove any chaotic emotions (anger, frustration, dissatisfaction, etc…) we feel towards another. Also, this will help us establish a more positive demeanor and allow us to garner more positive speech and actions. As we must feed our bodies healthy foods, we must also do the same with our minds by feeding it healthy thoughts. Being positive and optimistic does not just happen (though possible with some individuals), instead it must make use of many of our efforts.

As for obtaining happiness, though outside factors to contribute to our well being, we must understand that our perception holds more power to how we perceive things. In the words of Abraham Lincoln, “we can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” As you can see, there are two (or more) ways of seeing things. It all depends on you. The seeds of happiness, however, remain always within us; waiting for us to poor water over them. These exist within you. You must simply apply the effort of removing all of the impurities which have concealed them.

I hope this helps.

Al

Bill,

I apologize for not having tended to your post earlier. Also, please know that you’ve inspired me with your selfless and benevolent actions for our planet and humanity. I do hope to follow in similar footsteps in the future. I am very glad that you posted.

Often times, I wish that our global society would take time to teach about achieving harmony when we become adults. Whether it is taught in a secular or religious fashion does not matter for harmony does not exist in but one world. In my own experience, and from what I have been taught by my teachers, harmony is relative to our situations. While some believe that balancing two acts is just right, there are some who believe that juggling no more than 5 is minimum and necessary. With this said, we must understand that harmony incorporates all aspects of our lives. Indeed, it is then easily understood that such a task is staggering. And, as I mentioned, this is not something that we are universally taught. Because of this, many of us become overwhelmed, crushed, confused, lost and even paralyzed by having to put so much concentration, so much effort into finding our ‘middle ground’. In addition to that, because life is dynamic and is constantly introducing new elements into our lives, balancing becomes a never ending endeavor. And, when we set certain goals, certain ambitions for ourselves, these elements which affect our envisioned process obtain the power to cause a great shift on the journeyto our objectives. These are things you already know, I’m sure. I only posted as to help other members who are in similar situations and reading this therefore please forgive me if this seemed like an endless/meaningless rant.

With this said, the element of ‘making a livable wage’ and ‘saving our environment’ are two whose magnitudes are immense. To balance these two requires a great fortitude. (And again, I must express my respect and appreciation for your doings.) Sometimes, however, we have to pause and reassess ourselves. We have to gauge the reality of our situations. And although difficult to do as we are driven by something larger than ourselves, we have to remember that we are beings whom can mostly (financially) operate through the systems our societies have placed (sadly). This is where our knowledge of harmony becomes handy. Although possible to succeed outside of the bounds of the system, I believe that it is at the edge that we must maintain and remain in order to perform the difficult while still having our roots in the necessary place. I hope this makes sense. If not, I will use myself as example. While my goal is to create an orphanage which seconds as a school in Thailand that teaches moralistic and humanitarian business, I must first secure a sustainable income in order to fund my project. Where I know I must plant my feet are first in the business world. Only by first obtaining the knowledge and participating in risky ventures will I achieve the first step all the meanwhile recalling that I may only partake in endeavors which do not violate my principles along the way. Else, how could I claim to be humanitarian if I participate in a business that pollutes both humans and this world?

In short, and in simpler terms, while your dreams can still be achieved, you may have to do so from a new/different perspective and position. As to what this entails is entirely on you for you know your life best. Nevertheless, even if finding a new position conveys that you aren’t able to contribute to your cause as much, it does not mean that you have given up. It only means that you are more limited. However, a contribution is a contribution. The important thing to tell yourself is that, in the end, and at the least, you are exerting as much positivity as you’re able to. Remind yourself of this each time you suffer difficulty to quell your heart. I hope this helps. If not, I am sure other members will contribute.

Al

ps: I apologize for any grammatical mistakes.

Zita,

Forgiving others and ourselves for our misdeeds is entirely possible when we wholly understand and accept that we are imperfect beings. As I have often mentioned in many of my reply posts to other members: who truly knows what they’re doing in life? Who truly knows that they’re entirely right? Who truly knows how to handle/tackle ‘any’, ‘new’ and ‘all’ encounters? Who has all the answers? What are the basis of acting ‘right’ and ‘wrong’? What is right and wrong? These are but some questions among many.

While your head and heart are currently in chaos, do your best to practice one of the eight Noble Eightfold Paths of the Buddha, Deep Understanding, which consists of recognizing the suffering (which causes the imperfections) in others by considering all of the negative/chaotic elements that were previously exposed to the one whom hurt you which factored in his misbehavior. For example, your father has been verbally and sometimes physically abusive of you your entire life. In order to forgive him, we must understand all that has occurred to him first in order to do so. Learning his past may reveal that he did not grow up in a ‘happy’ home, that he was abused, that he was surrounded by a negative environment inside + outside of his home, that he made the wrong friends and that he did not have a supporting adult/influence around him, among other experiences. Do note that these examples are quite extreme. However, regardless of the severity of the experiences, negative is nevertheless negative and many small negative acts/events/experiences add up. When you apply this approach to the person (and any other) whom hurt you, you will find that their/his misdeeds were the cause of not having all of the proper influences in order to help them/him make good choices. This also applies to us.

In addition, though difficult to accept, negative experiences are a must. Only by suffering through them and learning their lessons do we grow. Therefore, please do your best to learn from this experience so that you may apply it to your future. In fact, you may come to nurture a grateful outlook once you find that this experience will contribute to you finding/choosing a more suitable partner.

I hope this helps.

Al

Dee,

I am sorry for your suffering. Dreams are indeed difficult to surrender. However, please know that alternatives always exist.

“Though you may never have the chance of tasting the pear, it does not mean you can’t enjoy the apple.”

The above quote resonates highly true within me and has become one of my core philosophies. Please do your best to see and accept this truth within you. While possible that you may never bear children from your own body (due to the various uncontrollable forces), you can still be a parent. Have you ever considered adopting? There are many children without parents who yearn for parental love. Could this be a viable option for you?

Al

Forgive me, I have made a grammatical mistake. The last sentence should read ‘Eventually, everything will become tendency and become easier.’

As you see, I’ve made a mistake but took action to correct it. Your mistakes can be corrected too.

Namaste

Rose Lynn,

It is entirely possible to learn the teachings of any religion without committing/converting to them. In the end, all preach love and love does not need us to be of a certain religion in order to find/know/share it.

As for religions in general, it is quite understandable to feel overwhelmed and lost since each have produced so many denominations. And, in honesty, we will never know what religion/teachings we will resonate with most until we experience them first hand. Hence I advise that you try a little bit of everything. In the end, even if you do not settle on one, you will have gained a little from each and therefore come out a better person already. Also, out of convenience, I would say simply stick with the initial religions themselves, meaning no thrice-branched denomination. And please, take your time on it. Important things should be done with care. Life needs not us rush but only experience.

I hope this has helped. If not, we’ll be here.

Al

Em,

With enough practice, I’d like to say that it has now become an instinct for me. All my thoughts/actions are governed by it and has indeed improved my inner and outer being tremendously. To be fully awake and aware in moments of positivity is exhilarating.

As for how it helps with our connection with others, well, I personally believe that it allows us to be more caring, loving and compassionate. It allows us to speak/act with care and in ways that will not be physically, mentally and emotionally harmful. And, because of this, I’d like to believe that we’re able to conceive more meaningful interactions; expanding our positivity and insight further.

Namaste

Al