hi mary… i spend the sundays feeling the same way.. so, was reading this post.. i wanted to post these lines..
this world is soo diverse. sometimes, we feel so lonely in this big, vast, overcrowded world. sometimes we long to fill just THAT ONE PERSON’S whole world and wish to complete ours with them. either way, we are missing that someone else, who is someone other than ourselves.. when we have ourself all for ourselves, why can’t we appreciate the uninterrupted communion??(i ask myself this so many times but never get a valid answer..)
small town… big town.. when feeling lonely, nothing matters.. but, once we are comfortable being on our own, we find happiness and contentment and that makes our world.. what matters equally will be how happy and comfortable we are, having THOSE people around us… best of luck in your job hunt… i wish you get to work in a great place and have loads of friends and fun..

hi sapna.. glad your vacation to ireland made you feel good… about what you wrote above.. i would like to suggest these few words.. i think you should make your decision without involving him in this..what i mean to say is.. if you would go to dublin and enroll for the course even if you did not met him or became friends with him…, then go for it.. do what you would if he did not come into your life at this time.. but please think for one more time if you are considering to go to another country just because you have one familiar person in that place.

Also,if i may say this.. i also feel like you are yet to let go of few things your previous relationship.. and are yet to move on.. it really hurts when we invest our love and heart in someone and it fails.. it also leaves an empty space inside, which urges and demands to be filled with some other person/ relation/ attachment.. but dear, please know that this happens with everyone, and every time one has a breakup. Best thing to do is to fill it, fill the empty space with love – self love. love yourself more, let yourself know that your love for self has no boundaries.. once you are content, happy, then, invite new relationships into your life.. because then, you will not be scared of whether things would work or not.. till then, take care of yourself with grace, and love..enjoy life, one day at a time..

If you have all the resources such as finance, safety, facilities to stay in that new place(or any other place), and you think having that degree would add up to your life than your current position in US, do go, get it…. hope this would be of some help, i wish you all the best!!

p.s: i shall say, both of these are not similar at all.. but,i used to have a crush (big, deep, solid crush..) on a person (he was my senior in college, never once looked at me/ spoke to me in 4 years) and just because of him, i loved that place for everything it is.. five years later, i still have that crush, i still feel butterflies and hear music in the air when i think of him.. and i still love that place, i yearn to go there once before i become old… just because he stays there!! – i just remembered everything when i was reading your words..:)

• This reply was modified 11 years, 1 month ago by sia. Reason: paragraph marking,punctuation

hi bodhisatva and sapnap3, i think about this too…not only me, many of my friends and family members think of this….

@bodhisatva, when we get hurt in any relationship/ acquintance, it does not always mean that we did something bad to deserve such people….. people/ things happen to us so that we learn what we are supposed to learn and become a better person/ move towards our destiny… human brain is so programmed that always, our brain understands, correlates and then registers things and their consequences in our minds for recall later in time… thats how we become what we are and why we do things the way we do… life is a learning experience, each moment that happens teaches something..may be those people came to u to teach u something… learn it and be grateful….u can choose to let go with grace… and be prepared for the next happening..

@Sapnap3, i think we do not know exactly whether others are getting everything what they want… for example, as i m not that person, i may not have a clue about what he/she very badly and desperately want in life… let alone whether they are getting it or not… but, mean and dishonest people, i have seen – can PRETEND that they have it all… just to fool others….
andabout getting the punch sooner and earlier(you can add other words like stronger/ harder too), i experienced the same thing.. soo many times… so, i made up two hypotheses (to satisfy my own whining about it).. 1) may be i am more spiritually inclined than others, so i observe/ watch for it and always find my own deeds being redone to me.. also, i must say there is this apprehension/ guilt that i keep watching for the next bad thing to happen to me when i mess up… 2)may be God really really loves me more that he never even blinks while watching me… every action that i make – good/ bad, always has a reaction – equal and opposite/not..:)

recently i also noticed that rather than what happens to others, and what others do to us, what we do to ourselves matters most….(i dont know whether this even makes any sense)
good luck to both of you inquistives… have a bright, sunny, nice day..

hi sapna… sorry that you are feeling sad…but, you will do great… i read about ireland… its a very beautiful place…. please don’t think it hurts that you are doing everything alone.. it is really very courageous of you to do it… all by yourself? you must be really very brave…
about enjoying your trip and healing…..
1. if you believe in meditating, do it everyday… and do it with a beautiful smile on your face…( even if you think you are going to sprain your face…. it will help you get some solace…..) 🙂
2. and…. try to shift your focus from what your heart is feeling at that moment to the things around you… may be how everything just keeps going at its own pace..no matter how you are feeling and what your are doing(or not doing)…
3. and if it helps, keep focusing on your breath… the way air touches your nostrils as you inhale and exhale…. try this when you feel sad… and also when you are scared… happy… content… focusing on our breath actually calms our mind…
4. if possible make some friends who can go with you…. known or unknown to us, having someone along with us makes us happy… but make sure you are safe…
p.s: my daddy says, “empty mind is a devil’s workshop” give it some work and it wont bother you much…..
enjoy your trip… hope this helps…

matt, i have a doubt… what is the best way to come out of the dissatisfaction about others being insensitive( or ungrateful) when we do something good to them? i don’t help every person i meet… but i helped my own colleague who is a friend( good friend) in so many ways like i helped him get a job, sat with him for 4 complete days so that his research work for our training is finished properly, infact, i was the one who got him into this training program, he was only an acquaintance till then… i did everything because i received help from some very good people when i was looking for opportunities… ( that is to join in this training course., and this job)… and i wanted to help someone so that it is carried on to others…. after joining this new job, he has changed… he doesn’t talk to me like before or like my friend.. constantly he was making me look like a laughing stock, talking sarcastically whenever i talk to him… he was not like this until his work is done… why it hurts badly is we are really good friends since 4 years… i was really hurt and so,i stopped talking to him totally…. he never asked me why i stopped talking to him, or he never said sorry for his behavior… in this new office he behaves as if i m some wall or may be i don’t exist… it hurts sooo badly.. although i know its all my own thinking.. and what i am is not going to change because of the way he treats me, i feel bad all the time… past 2 weeks,i feel numb… and m becoming really forgetful(m always soo pre occupied.. but with what?i have no idea…) how to get out of this? i have my exam next week…. m anxious as i cant recollect anything that i studied in the past one whole year…. everything is just blank… and mute… i shall post this in a new forum if this should not be posted here….

@matt, as you always give great advice to everyone on this blog, can you please tell me about a way to get out of this?

just saying…..this might not be true….
1. judgement comes earlier than learning because to learn, you should understand your judgement,register it in your mind and then recall it and then reinforce it in your behavior (or your way of thinking..).
2. It is easy to change our judgements.. but once you learn something in a certain way,it is difficult to unlearn it……(that’s how our brain works)
3. Being judgemental about everything is not all bad, acting towards someone merely basing on our judgement is…. and to learn something from every new thing we come across is not good always… we can only learn things which we judge as usefu/ appealing to us….ex: if u go to a concert/listen to great music, you can instantly judge whether it is great music or not.. but you wont feel like learning music until you judge that it can be useful for you..

m really sorry if i got you more confused than before….