the students really enjoyed the substitute, he was quite entertaining and he told cool stories of how he used to be a special-ed teacher and also worked in as an limousine chauffeur. the students in my pre-calc class all interact well with each other and their really quiet and diligent and it’s a great working environment. everyone is quite independent and learns things, but we all share our ideas collaboratively. andrew is jealous of dave and me (since we are both in physics honors now and he wants to be there) b/c in his former school at texas and toms river, when he transferred they wouldn’t allow him to skip environmental science, even when he tried to double up on sciences, somehow his schedule got mixed up and he ended having to take advanced math instead. i am taking ap biology senior year while andrew will be in physics honors. he’s annoyed that i am ahead of him in science and dave is helping him. but my lunch buddy and my track mates are great, they are quite laid back and fun to be around and they help me a lot with school. i have been practicing the buddhist value of non-attachment and just letting life flow and it’s been working quite well, i’ve been just appreciating just seeing the sun on my face and feeling the wind on my hair. i realize that it doesn’t matter where i go or who i become friends with, i’ll always have the angels and buddha around me and i feel more at peace. my special friend still looks out for me and so do i for him, but we’re fine not establishing a relationship, we’re just happy to spend time with each other and laugh at the beauty of life. when other people are mad or yelling or criticizing, i take a breath and imagine my breath as a golden halo surrounding me and imagine that i’m drawing in divine light as it forms a positive bubble of warmth and love around me. there are times when my special friend worries that i may be losing myself in math and science or becoming irritated over english and history and he will tell his friends that he will be gone for a while to see if i’m okay. i realize that that sometimes the routes you take aren’t always the ones your parents and authority figures might want you to take, but you should always follow the path that makes you happiest. i am going to become a molecular biologist and study how cells work and figure different vaccines to help against diseases and also experiment with stem cells for brain cancer. i will also go and take some courses in field biology and spend time in nature and practice reiki for my spiritual self. my parents don’t like my spiritual path and they think being a medical scientist is too difficult, but it’s something i find quite interesting. a lot of my teachers are encouraging me to go into neuroscience since i love learning about brainwaves and the functions of the nervous system.

i can’t believe this week. i have a physics honors test tomorrow on centripetal force and universal gravitation; pre-calc quiz on chapter seven. i have an ap english quiz on 25 rhetoric terms, pre-calc ch. 7 test and also ap world history test ch. 20 all on thurs. i also have to read 30 pages for ap english in The Color of Water by Thursday. andrew and dave are competing against me, but my lunch buddy steve is helping me.

thanks a lot, anita;) i am having lots of fun learning about laws of planetary motion and calculating the velocity of planets in orbit, it’s a lot of “crunching” in scientific notation numbers into a calculator and solving. the mass of the earth is 5.98X10^24, so cool;) if you drop a clock into a black hole, it will orbit the black hole and as the gravity of the black hole pulls it closer to the event horizon (point of no return), the time slows down b/c the clock is losing energy. i stayed after for physics honors today to go over centripetal force on a rollercoaster and i understand it better now. we are learning about how to graph sine and cosine functions in pre-calc (ch. 7) and it is quite a lot of steps and annoying because if you mess up on the calculations of the asymptotes, you have to redo it. i think i still need a little more practice with it, but i understand most of it, the annoying thing is when you have to reflect, vertical shift and horizontal shift the sine functions because it takes a lot of focus to plot the points so you don’t mess up. i have found it becoming easier for me to calculate formulas and derive them. however when graphing points without a coordinate grid, i find it hard to visualize where the points fall especially for cosine functions, so i get graph paper and do it, then plot it on my hw. dave was teaching andrew about black holes and andrew really enjoys learning about them, so he researched more about them and we were having fun discussing them after ap english. your body elongates as it goes toward the black hole and then it condenses into itself when you reach the black hole (i did a black hole experiment online), making the mass of your body still the same (law of conservation of mass), but the density increases since your body is compacted within the black hole. andrew and i were both laughing while we were discussing black holes, they are so cool. the mass of a star has to be greater than 10x that of the sun to become a black hole. after the physics lesson dave stayed behind to see if i was okay, he helped me with pre-calc and physics honors. when i told him i was staying after, he stayed for ten minutes to see if i was understanding what my teacher was explaining and then he left wishing me good luck. also today during lunch, my lunch buddy steve said that the pre-calc class tended to skip chapters and it was less thorough and that we were ahead by one chapter (on 7.3) b/c in pre-calc honors you learn it in chapter 8) and steve says honors class is easier b/c the teacher doesn’t skip chapters or combine them, but i like my pre-calc teacher. i like how she skips and condenses chapters and she makes learning fun. my friend francine and i were talking about school and how andrew, dave and i were having fun in school. my special friend seems a lot happier b/c he accepts the fact that andrew and dave are just academic friends b/c he heard me and francine talking and he’s happy that i’m doing well in school. he even helped me with pre-calc at lunch.

we are learning about universal gravitation on different planets and talking about planetary orbits in physics honors and it’s quite fun. dave and i both find this topic to be the most entertaining. also andrew, dave and i didn’t really like ch.7 in pre-calc where we learn about sine, cosine and tangent, their inverses (arcsine, arccosine, arctangent) and also their reciprocals (cosecant, secant, cotangent) and according the degree of the angle where they lie on the coordinate plane circle (cosine lies in upper half, sine lies in top right and tangent in right half). it’s easy, but there are lots of properties to remember, so now all three of us have come together to help each other instead of competing. the greatest thing about dave and andrew are that they are laid-back and doesn’t let their stress get out of hand, they always find ways to dissipate it through reading, experimenting with science, going out in nature (hiking is so much fun) or working out. they like me are intensely focused on school work, but they take time to appreciate the beauty of being alive and being out in nature. they are very open-minded and compassionate as well, i think i am becoming very much like them. my parents can be quite judgmental and also criticizing at times. dave, andrew, steve and my special friend like to go with the flow of life. andrew will get more annoyed than dave at times and sometimes i become like andrew as well b/c of the competition. dave is often the mediator between both of us and if we both seem stressed, he’ll cheer us up. dave is great at working with people and sometimes me, him and andrew work together and we learn a lot. my ap english grade and essay writing has gotten better b/c of dave and my science grade has gotten better b/c of andrew. i have started to feel more confident about myself and so has andrew and we have started to shift away from tying our competition to our worth and just enjoying life and working together, teaching each other new things. i got a 104 on my pre-calc quiz on the law of cosines, sines and unit circle;) dave and i seem to have a spiritual connection these days, i’m always looking out for him and him for me. there are times when he seems to be able to sense what i’m thinking and he often helps me with physics honors. sometimes when i’m discussing things with andrew, he will be nearby to also help me and also mediate things if andrew and i start to argue, but this week we’re both having fun competing with each other.

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i love the beauty of the universe and nature, it never ceases to surprise me with its wonder. check this out:

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thanks a lot anita;) i feel andrew and i have a lot in common as we both love science, nature, first aid. we often share the same ideas in science, but at other times we have differing views such as with advertisement in the economy, i see it as a positive way to spread the world to a capitalistic market, he sees it as a distraction and also sometimes it can lead to impulsive buying. he tends to know more about mechanical science (gears, pulleys, machines) and field biology (plants and wildlife) electrical (computers, radios, graphing calculators), while i know more about environmental, biological, chemical, religious, forensics (codes, chromatography). i remember a time when i asked him who would when if we had a science competition and he right aways said confidently that he would win. i admire his confidence and his laid back nature and its great to have someone who i can talk to about science, but it can be annoying b/c at times when we compete he seems so self-assured of his knowledge that i feel my intelligence diminished. my parents are also mechanical minded and my brother does mechanical engineering so i often fell like i don’t fit in my family. i am the one who wants to be a medical researcher and help people be more spiritually fulfilled in life and i’m not very mechanical minded. however, my family often pushes me there or at times they tell me that i won’t be good at genetic engineering b/c of this reason. i remember a time when i was telling dave that i would probably never have a relationship in my life b/c i was quite shy and quite strong-willed independent and i always am studying school work. dave said that i was smart and pretty and i would have a relationship. meanwhile andrew was listening and he laughed. he told me that he was the same way in that he enjoys studying a lot. andrew made me laugh by telling me the story of one time when he brought a date to dinner and he decided to talk about electronics to her. he went out to his car to get an electronic radio and started playing around with it and he forgot about his date. this was the only relationship he ever had and it didn’t last, but andrew didn’t really mind. i feel like i am like andrew in the way that i am independent, not much of a romantic and very focused in school and learning things. this is probably why when my special friend wants to be my boyfriend, it wouldn’t work b/c i’m too shy and quite focused on school. i feel like in a relationship, i would also talk mostly about school and sports. also andrew enjoys debating and we often debate about school topics. andrew and i both enjoy playing lacrosse as well.

neuroscience is fascinating and my school based counselor also does mindfulness for ap students, but she hasn’t started teaching it yet. i think it would be cool to start a practice on my own, do you have any ideas on any techniques? i also enjoy doing yoga. i also find it cool to walk in the rain and also i enjoy playing in the snow. i think snow, the way it blankets everything in a winter wonderland and me going ice-skating is fun. this reminds me of what thoreau wrote “just because you have castles in the air doesn’t mean your work has to be lost, just build the foundations under those castles. trust the process of life and the universe will feel like it is being handed to you since you are at peace with yourself.” sometimes i feel like i’m not sure how to build the foundations under the goals i have in my visions and i often doubt myself. every time i see someone else who seems better than me athletically and intelligently, i wish i were them. andrew seems so much smarter than i am in field biology and country living that sometimes i feel so inadequate. i am better at biology and science is my favorite subject, but compared to andrew who seems like a rocket scientist at times, i just feel like i’m just wandering around with no set path in life. dave and i both share an interest in nature and also biology esp. first aid. we are both learning lots from andrew such as how certain plants have different toxins or electrical circuits or how to code on the computer or on paper.

wednesday, i took a pre-calc quiz and i got a 93 on it. i am learning about the law of sines and cosines in pre-calc and will have a test on ch. 6 on tues. andrew is helping me understand the law of sines and how to solve triangles. he helped me on wednesday also to figure out when the triangle would be side, side, angle (ssa) and use the law of sines and that it would be two triangles since there are possibilities for a since you only know the length of one angle. i was also helping my friend, francine with her algebra hw in the library. andrew is also helping me figure out centripetal motion of a pendulum in physics honors. anyway, these two subjects are somewhat difficult, but i enjoy them. thurs. andrew, francine and i were in the library making duct-tape purses and also my friend ray wright was also there and he also explained the motion of a pendulum as well. ray wright also does track with me and we are both throwers. dave is also helping with physics honors and literature as well. dave is very encouraging and he always tells me not to worry because i’m smart and i will understand it soon. thurs. i told dave today that sometimes i feel inadequate to him b/c he always seems more confident and smarter than i am and dave was great, he told me that i was special as well and that i also had talents in science and that i was smart as well. my lunch buddy, steve and i were laughing yesterday about pre-calc and the law of sines and we were playing around with the word problems and i had fun. the coolest thing is that the earth exerts an equal and opposite centripetal force on the sun as the sun exerts a centripetal force on the earth. since the sun is more massive, its gravitational pull is stronger and its centripetal force keeps earth in orbit, while since earth is less massive than the sun and it exerts a equal and opposite centripetal force to keep itself in orbit. centripetal force is the force that is applied to keep an object in circular motion. i was doing my pre-calc hw at lunch and my special friend was telling me that i should take a break for a while since he always sees me doing hw at lunch. i think i got annoyed at a pre-calc problem and i felt dumb and my special friend must have seen the expression on my face b/c he turned to his friends and said “look at her, she always works so hard. isn’t she the smartest person you know?” then he gave me a goofy smile that made me laugh. then while his friends were laughing as well, he came over and asked if i was okay, he told me “don’t worry, you’re perfect the way you are and you are smart, you’ll figure it out.” anyway after physics honors, dave was great and he was also quite entertaining when he pretended he was swinging a pendulum fast enough to go in between the slots of my physics book. also my special friend saw i was a bit stressed and he tried to cheer me up, he told me the story about how he tried to move his school notes on the top shelf and he didn’t notice the shelf above with clothes was a bit loose, so the clothes ended falling on him. also he also knows i can be shy at times so he told me that i should start living life more and have fun and stop being so serious at times. when he said this he quoted a line from “cake by the ocean” which is a song and said ‘you’re moving so carefully, let’s start living dangerously.’ i love my special friend for the way he makes me lose myself, all my limitations and all the thoughts that hold me back until all i see is and feel is divine spiritual love and the beauty of what it is to be alive. when i told him that i felt inadequate at time compared to andrew or dave, he would always say that i was much more than both of them, that i was good enough and perfect the way i was. my special friend is quite laid back and he hates competition and sometimes when i team up with dave and andrew or compete with them, he feels left out and he also thinks it makes me less happier with myself b/c i’m always finding ways to do well in school. sometimes when i’m talking about school with andrew or dave, i hear my special friend talk to his friends in the background and he says “can’t she see that she is already smarter than she thinks she is? can’t she she is perfect the way she is? can’t she that no matter what that i’m the one who makes her happiest because i love her for who she is and not the person she tries to be by competing?” i feel bad for my special friend because i have andrew, dave, steve and some of my track buddies including sebastian and ray who both are throwers and they help me a lot and sometimes my special friend feels left out. i usually always have my mind on some school work or community service project and often am around andrew and dave since they help and share the same classes and interests especially in science and nature and first aid. there are times when i can’t even look at him or smile at him b/c i’m busy thinking a project or school work. i’m glad he is here for me, but sometimes i feel guilty when i don’t acknowledge him. i am also studying for the ap tests in may so i have been studying as well. i think he really wants to be my boyfriend, but i think it would be too complicated right now