thanks anita;) i spent friday and most of saturday doing 30 timelines since there are six time periods in ap world history from foundations to modern each with five countries and after i got done with post-classical, i just winged through pre-modern and modern b/c i was just bored out of my mind. history is just a memorization of facts, organizing them and analyzing them and it doesn’t teach much about how it will apply to real life now. the great thing about pre-calc is that when we learn about calculating interest payments or the exponential growth of a stock over time, i know i will use those in life, but in ap world history i won’t need to know about the wars or the trades in ancient times in life.

have fun on your walk;) she doesn’t teach classes, but she encourages people who are interested to come and she gives them resources. i often see her mostly on tuesdays and wednesdays when i stop by in the morning or after school. i also have a yoga/ art teacher who allows people to take coloring sheets to color and relieve their stress. my school based teacher is putting on a lead and succeed club (the room with the green paint, tree picture and smiley face balls) and it helps teens make good choices in life. i think andrew is more of a science than a religious type of person, he like me believes in the big bang and the evolution of species rather than the creation of the world by god/s. i often use science a lot to help me justify my spirituality such as learning about different frequencies of light and applying it to energy of angels, but i find a good balance between science and spirituality. i don’t like the fact that medicine is given to people constantly to help their symptoms instead of listening to the person and finding a way to find out what’s truly the cause and finding a cure. dave is great, he heard that i was struggling in physics honors and after ap english, he and andrew both helped me with physics. he and andrew also stayed after school and we went over some problems on light and sound. dave enjoys religion and spirituality while andrew though he likes nature, he sees it more in a scientific aspect. also my special friend was also listening to me talk about school and he was also encouraging me as well. he doesn’t mind me being interested in academics as much, but he seems to feel left out when andrew and dave help me with school. my friend jenna is quite enjoying regular physics and she is having fun with her classes. she is learning to be laid-back b/c she like me also is very meticulous and works really hard.

i have written two poems. the one containing the line “we are made of star stuff” was planned out while the other one called ‘Cosmic Alignment’ was written spontaneously and just following the simple flow. all i put on my facebook page are positive quotes and a lot of people enjoy them, one of my friends in ap world history, zack (he is really good at history and quite good at analyzing things and public speaking) and he says i’m like a modern gandhi. steve, not my lunch buddy, but someone new(a distance runner from my track team and also in ap world history) wants me to set up a twitter account so i can spread my positivity to those on twitter. steve says there is so much internet cursing and it would be nice to have someone encourage the teammates on twitter. i don’t have a twitter though even though a lot of my friends want me to make one. steve has a great sense of humor and is quite laid back and does quite well in school, he doesn’t let grades or competition get him down. my friend melody (she goes to an art school now) visited me two days ago and i showed her some of my poems and she really enjoyed them. i gave her a copy of “be yourself” to hang in her room so she can be inspired by it. i haven’t started on my mural b/c i’ve been getting requests from my friends to start a positivity forum site and i’ve been wondering if i should do that. but i am doing the mural with angel carrying the globe flying among the stars. dave has been quite supportive of me these days and has been helping me with my school work esp. in physics honors. he really enjoys the idea of me helping spread more positivity to others. my special friend seems mad at me since i’ve been busy with school and positivity things and he feels left out. he feels as if he’s losing me admist all the school work and the planning i’ve been doing. my track mates are great and encouraging and they make me laugh. it is great to run, feeling the wind on your face, feeling free leaving all your limitations behind. it is also quite fun to see yourself improve in your balance, strength and ability to throw shot put or discus better;) the last poem i made math allusions, so in “star stuff” i made lots of science allusions esp. some with physics and black holes. the “A” team is still quite competitive and cynical and sometimes when i try to be nice to them or ask them for help on a school assignment, they act like a clique. they have the best grades and the best outfits and many people admire them; but i’m just happy to be myself. i don’t have to be perfect and fit into every category, i just have to try my best and enjoy life. in fact, compared to the athletes, the “A” team in the school and the intelligent; i don’t really fit into any of those categories. but it doesn’t matter b/c i have my talents and it doesn’t matter if i’m not the most intelligent, most athletic, wealthiest or whatever; all I want in life is to live it to the fullest to be free to be who I truly am and do what truly makes me happy and not fit into a group society labels on me. you can have everything in life, but if you aren’t happy in spirit, it doesn’t matter. also buddha says “sometimes we want too much for ourselves and we ant what we don’t have and that leads to suffering. we should appreciate what we have now instead of letting our wants run our lives and see life as always missing something; why don’t we end our suffering by being grateful for what we do have and for who we are?”

Cosmic Alignment

Discovering my soul’s true purpose

Awakening to divine love and healing

Breaking the illusions

No longer confined by the walls of limitations

Accepting myself and my talents

Forgetting all I’m lacking

I breathe the divine in

At peace with my life

I’m running and quite sure where to go

The world illuminated in a new light

Detached from material wants and pressures

I am free

I am alive

My inner self becoming more vibrant, taking the path of spiritual fulfillment

I’m going home

I’m going to the place I belong

I’m one with the divine, at peace, filled with love and light.

Life is a miracle

Living isn’t hard at all

It doesn’t matter who you’re not, it matters who you are and how you use it

So don’t bring yourself down if others seem better than you

You have your talents as well

I know what I believe inside

I’m awake and I’m alive

Wherever I go, whatever I experience I’ll be okay

Filled with divine light and love, life is effortless

Life is beautiful

Live every moment to the fullest

If you are angry, there are other people out there who have it worse than you or the person who made you angry is out there dancing

So release your worry, doubt and anger; it only wastes your energy in life and takes away the precious seconds when you could be happy

Live as if you were too die this moment

Be happy with who you are, embrace life cause you can’t rewind a moment in this life

Be one with the divine, be one with yourself

Experience life as a miracle, don’t live with regrets, they only hold you back

Free your soul, free your heart and soar, align yourself to the path of your true purpose.

Embrace your uniqueness

A star is born in the universe

from the disarray of nebulas and specks of energy in this galaxy

We are all made of star stuff

Like a star formed out of the chaos of cosmic energy, we have the ability to shine brighter with hope even when our life is in disarray

When we feel lost, stuck spinning in circles, uncertain which path to take

We can take this time to focus on our inner stars, our talents

Embrace your uniqueness

Rather than falling into the black hole or keeping yourself oriented in orbit around darkness

Turn on your full brightness

Be big and bold, let your energy explode like a supernova

Let your true self emerge in light and power to shed light and warmth and love upon the world

We are all made of star stuff

We all have a purpose in life

Like the stars interwoven in the night sky, we have the ability to interweave ourselves into into a divine soul

One small star shining in the sky makes a world of difference

What would the world be like if there wasn’t anyone to take a stand and light the way for others?

What would the world be like if all we saw was the darkness of the night sky?

We are all made of star stuff

We are all interconnected in the sky

We all go through triumphs and trials

Sometimes we may feel alone in the midst of an expansive galaxy and the gravitational pull of the black hole beckons

We may fall from the sky and blaze with fire like a meteor and fall to the Earth as a meteorite

It seems like the light of hope has burned out within us, that we are confined by the rock walls that we can’t break free from

We long to be back in the sky,but all we see is the ground beneath our feet

How can we get back up to the sky?

It takes strength and courage to break the walls, to break the fears and whatever holds you back

We are meant to fall so we can become stronger

So that we can develop our wings and fly back to the stars with more wisdom

Embrace your uniqueness

Your imperfections make life meaningful

It takes time and courage, but free your soul

Don’t live a life unlived in fear,, don’t let life pass you by

Even if you feel you are falling into the black hole and you feel weak to try

It’s okay, take a break and don’t struggle against the darkness

Delve into that void, learn what you can about it

Then regather your strength and use what you learned to help you out of the hole

And if you find you are doubting yourself and the pressure pulling you down is too great; ask yourself “Is this what I want in life? Is what I see how my life should be? Do I truly want to be stuck in darkness my whole life afraid to fly?”

Listen to the answers in your heart

Take the chaos of your life and use it to help you develop your star

We are all made of star stuff

We are all beautiful and unique

Each one of us has a part in this world, to shine our light

Like the stars that twinkle in the night sky that cast light upon this world, so can we each as individuals cast our light and love to make the world a better place

Embrace your talents, just like each star in the sky we all have our brightness

Not all the stars in the universe are the same, some are brighter, some are farther away, some are bigger; yet they all have a place to shine

It doesn’t matter how bright you are, embrace your talents

Go for your goals

Expand to other galaxies

Don’t let anything hold you back from your dreams

And when it comes time for a star to pass it explodes into a supernova burst of rays and goes to a white dwarf as it cools down

Live your life like the sun, don’t make yourself so massive and powerful if you aren’t happy or you will become a big black hole with no light, instead live your life and become a white dwarf as it cools down

And so too should you and I live life to the fullest

Like the stars, we should release all our fears and open ourselves to our true divine essence and so when we become white dwarfs and part of the universe, the cosmos we have truly experienced all that we could and shed light and impacted our world

The law of conservation of energy says that energy cannot be created nor destroyed, it can only be changed from form to form

So live life with no regrets, let your inner star shine your fullest and when you pass you will become part of the sky

We are all made of star stuff

We are all energy

Embrace your uniqueness, each star plays their part in making the world brighter

If everyone were the same, we wouldn’t be learning much in life

You are a star and important

The night sky would be dimmer without you and if everyone were the same there wouldn’t be any meaning in life

Also since we cannot create or destroy energy and thoughts are energy transferred from electrical neural impulses from our brain which processes things and causes our body to function

It doesn’t matter what goals you have in life, what road you travel in life

You have a purpose and wherever you go, whoever you are, you will go home to unconditional love and the divine

If thoughts are energy and stars are energy, and the mind controls our body then we are energy

We are star stuff (mostly 99.9%) and capable of great things

excellent words of wisdom efendi;) i feel like it doesn’t matter what we believe, it is our actions. there are some people in this world who say they believe in god/s, yet they still continue to feel conflicted or angry at the world for whatever reason. we should follow our hearts and do what is right and not be tied down to all the morals of what god/s dictate. like you said “hold no belief, so you can live in the moment”, i agree we should just appreciate ourselves and our life despite our beliefs. it doesn’t matter what beliefs you have if your beliefs don’t make you happy. the most important thing is to have a positive attitude and cultivate compassion for the world. buddha never thought himself as a god or deity, but as a spiritual teacher helping others find their way. some people seem to be restricted by their beliefs since they follow a daily practice and stick to it, while this may be comforting to most people, sometimes it is good to step out of the boundaries for a while and explore new horizons. you said “towards believer of no gods, buddha says god exists”, some people just enjoy going through life, but they miss the bigger picture and life seems to pass them by. also those who have no belief in god/s are sometimes freer since they aren’t tied down by limitations of what god/s seems like and they can just appreciate their divinity, a higher self. since also for those who believe in god/s sometimes they seem to be subordinate to the god/s they worship instead of sharing a mutual connection and working together. the important thing is to follow our hearts, cultivate compassion, do what’s right and not to put limits on god/s. god/s should be eternal and all-encompassing instead of having so many strict rules to follow. we make our own decisions in life and we must face the consequences of those actions, yet we should continue to live life to the fullest regardless of who we are because a life spent in anger, a life spent in illusion is a life unlived.

anita, i think i like a balance between both b/c at school i don’t really like my ap english and history classes, but i love pre-calc and physics honors. although if i had to choose between one or the other, i prefer school better because it gives me an opportunity to be around people who are laid-back and truly appreciate me for me. i also enjoy learning new things at school and having track practice with my teammates. at home, my parents are constantly complaining about whatever injustice that comes up, no matter how trivial. however, i don’t let the negatives affect me as much anymore. there are times when i will get irritated, but i always find ways to bring about peace and center myself. i think my next poem will be called “believe”, “set your sights for the stars”, “break the illusion” or something of that nature and it will feature that line ‘we are made of star stuff”. it will be a poem about the power of positive thinking and going for your dreams, realizing that you are capable of many things.

it was really hot out today and some people were a bit irritated from the heat while we were at track practice, but that’s just typical. charlie and willie (a guy who plays football, but is now doing shot put for track) were competing and they were both making other teammates laugh. willie and charlie have great sportsmanship and often encourage the other teammates to do their best and their witty sense of humor makes people laugh. javi (also who plays football is also doing shot put) and he and i have a lot in common. he and i both enjoy the medical field, being out in nature and working out. he is interested in oncology (study of cancers and tumors) and so am i. he is quite interested in brain and heart tumors and hopes to help those with cancer. i want to be a medical researcher and research stem cells and molecular biology and help those with cancer as well. while i will be working as a scientist, he will be a doctor. javi also has a great sense of humor and is quite good at logical reasoning and he enjoys cooking as much as i do. he was in my cooking and sewing class and we would often have fun competing with each other who was better at using the sewing machine and who cooked the best recipes. dave is still quite entertaining and helps me study for physics honors and the sats. even though, he and andrew have teamed up and they are competing against me, dave and andrew both continue to to look out for me. my lunch buddy, steve is also helping me with performing operations of trigonometric functions adding, subtracting, etc. using trigonometric identity. even though i’m not the smartest or the most athletic and i don’t care much about fashion, i find myself getting along with guys quite well. i enjoy being myself and sometimes i’m just happy to have people who accept who i am and who share the same laid-back nature as i am developing. i find that i’m becoming less and less like my parents and more like my friends and that i am happy with myself.

so many people see the negatives of life that they fail to see the beauty and the effortlessness life really is. living my life isn’t hard anymore, i know whatever road i take i will be lead home. also when andrew, steve, dave and my special friend and i go our separate ways after senior year, i have faith i will be fine. i will miss them and hope we will stay friends, but i will accept the fact if we drift apart and still continue to live with all the values they’ve taught me. also thanks a lot anita for helping me renew my creative spark again, for always being here and understanding, it is a true divine blessing to know someone like you;) i think i have had many blessings in life and one of them is meeting you, anita;)you are a very compassionate and wise friend;) i think if i hadn’t met the people i met in my life, i wouldn’t have been the same person i am today, one who sees the beauty of life and enjoys acquiring wisdom and helping others. i truly believe everything happens for a reason and life is a miracle of opportunities. i have become more detached from others in my surroundings and have often tried to help others with their stress. i realize that i may never be the smartest person, the most athletic, the most wealthy or the most whatever; but no of that matters to me. what matters is that i am learning to be at peace with myself, to truly appreciate everything in life as a journey and am helping others as well. it doesn’t matter how much you have in life if you aren’t happy within or there are going to be faults that perturb you, what matters is the happiness, the love you can cultivate for yourself and the world that will last forever. some people like my parents and some of the customers at my restaurant find me strange and say i have my head in the clouds because they think it is impossible to live the way i do and accept everything as it is. but it’s not hard and accepting things is easier than fighting them and causing more stress, accept them, acknowledge them and use them to grow. as the buddha says “acknowledge your suffering, don’t let your wants and imperfections define who you are, that only causes suffering. look within yourself and see your inner talents and detach yourself from the world of suffering. be free and end suffering.” when some people tell me that they are depressed, i feel bad for them (i’m empathetic), but i won’t let their depression get to me and i will find ways to help them get through it or just shield myself bubble of light and just wait. too many people miss the opportunities in life because they see what they lack or the things that could be better. here is a poem about living your dreams, being yourself and truly appreciating the wonders of life:

Be yourself

You are only confined by the walls you build yourself

You are what you love, not what loves you

Think of all the things you could be

You are not held back by who you think you are, but by who you think you are not

Confidence is not “They will like me”

Confidence is “I’ll be fine if they don’t”

How much of yourself is truly you if you keep conforming to your limitations and the ideals society sets for you?

How much are you truly living if you confine yourself in fear, afraid to even try, watching life pass you by?

Who do you truly want to be in life?

Don’t let others or the past define who you are

Let the past make you better not bitter

Learn from your mistakes and don’t be anxious for the future

Worrying doesn’t take away troubles, it takes away your peace

Sometimes the wrong choices take us to the right places

Sometimes you may have to choose your own path different from others

Just because you are stuck in mud doesn’t mean you can’t still see the stars

If your garden starts growing weeds, accept the negatives and let them go

You may have to take a chance and make a choice to uproot yourself and head in a new direction or your life will never change

When things in life don’t add (+) up, start subtracting (-)

Sow and plant the seeds you want in your life

Listen to yourself and let your true self blossom like a flower

Make peace with your circumstances, confront the dark parts of yourself and bring them to light

Don’t compare yourself to others and try to be like them

You will never feel perfect if you don’t have peace within yourself

Comparing yourself to others just makes you lose yourself and forget your talents

Everyone is special in their own way

Appreciate your talents, look within and see your own inner star

Let your star glow as you follow the path of your dreams

Although life may be difficult at times and it seems that some people have the upper hand

Keep your focus on what you love, play hard with the cards you’re dealt with in life

Keep in your vision the life you want and see yourself in that reality

Instead of wasting energy fighting stress and a life you want to run away from, make peace with your surroundings; accept the life you have now

If you keep focusing on the negatives of your current life, you will never see the doors of opportunity awaiting you

Make peace with your current circumstances; believe that you will reach the stars

Strong people don’t bring others down; they lift them up

Be the change you wish to see in the world

Happiness can be found in darkness when one remembers to turn on the light

A minute spent in anger loses 60 seconds of happiness

Strong people forgive, weak people revenge, intelligent people ignore. (this also applies when someone throws mud at you and you also throw mud back at them, you both lose ground and it doesn’t solve anything)

It is time to create your true self

It is time to build the stairway to the stars, to lay the foundations under the castles you’ve built

Your work doesn’t need to be lost just because there are obstacles

Listen to your heart; Look at yourself and say “I can be the person I want to be in life.”

Don’t be afraid to free your soul and fly

You could be counting stars

Nothing’s so cold as closing the heart, as closing the windows to opportunity

So break the walls of society, of your limiting thoughts

Break the illusions of all that holds you back and set yourself free

Be yourself, play hard in life and count the stars

Every second counts cause there’s no second try

Just be yourself, it doesn’t matter if it’s good enough for someone else

Live right now, try everything you can

You are never too young, too old or too afraid to explore new horizons

To find yourself

To awaken that inner star within you that will be a sun that helps light the world

You are a spiritual being

Take your fears and turn them into hopes, take your obstacles and turn them into bridges, take your stress and let it go

Life is a miracle

You are a miracle

thanks anita;) cool that it is also the uprising of the warsaw ghetto against nazi germany;) i really believe in the power of thought b/c all spring break throughout to today i have been imagining myself as being confident and also becoming better at shot put and it works. i have become more accepting of myself and also really enjoy shot put with my teammates. like thoreau said “it doesn’t matter if you have castles in the sky, your work need not be lost,just build the foundations under them and have faith in the process of life”; i feel like that you can set your goals in your mindset and believe and work hard for them and lay the foundations, trusting that you will succeed, truly believing in your heart, you will find a way. so many people build dreams that they feel are impossible and they just drift through life. the important thing is to live your life and accept the circumstances you have now and make the best of them and make them work for you. i i may write a poem about dreams and goals and relate to stars. life is truly beautiful and there are so many healing opportunities out there. last night when i was stressed, i saw the light of green wings and angel raphael telling me to let myself go, just to not fight the stress, but just relax and delve into the void. it felt strange at first to delve into the stress, but i was able to see why i was stressed and recognize it, acknowledge it and let it go. people often lash out or fight their stress, but it just drains them of energy, the thing they should do is to delve into the stress, acknowledge it and let it go. it may help to acknowledge the stress as a color such as red for anger or blue for sadness and imagine (or physically) yourself take a colored pencil and you coloring the stress out, releasing it onto the paper. then crumple the paper up and throw it in the trash.