thanks a lot anita;) you are a great friend;) my ap english teacher is helping us with college applications and they are making me nervous. i am going to retake the sats in october and possibly november 2016 and apply for the jul-december one for my colleges. i got a 1490/2400 on this year’s sat taken feb.23 and i will be taking the one out of 1600 soon. i had i’m going to be learning to drive this summer, completing the summer work for my ap and honors classes next year and studying for sats. i’m also taking a financial literacy, reiki course and also a ap calculus class bc online (since school only offers ac) and i have to register for the ap calculus bc exam. my worst fear is that i won’t be accepted to any of the colleges or that i’ll run out of time for my applications. the scholarships and the financial aid is what makes me worried, but i think i have the letters of recommendation, personal essays and application common app organized somewhat. i wish my parents had more faith in me b/c they think i’m not going to have time to do well in school or for colleges b/c of this reason. also they don’t think I’m as self-sufficient as I feel about myself. their lack of confidence in me makes me annoyed b/c i have worked on building my confidence and self-esteem and these days i appreciate myself and life more. my summer work is usually relatively easy and i usually finish it within the last few weeks of june into the first few days of july. also i’m quite good at multi-tasking and dividing my attention between multiple things without losing my focus on one. i can often find ways to connect ten things at once and have fun doing them, while my parents think i’m just spontaneously all over the place. i do tend to look at all avenues of the path, but they all connect to a central theme that i can totally focus on with my one-track mind (whenever i get set on one thing, i go for it and usually lose sight of everything else).

thanks a lot, anita;) after the two ap tests, there hasn’t been much work in the ap classes. i have a pre-calc test on ch. 8 tomorrow and after the teacher explained trig equations i understand it. i also have a physics honors test on electricity on wednesday and i understand it more now that the teacher explained it and dave and andrew helped. although, andrew seems mad at me b/c i am doing better than he is in science and also learning lots with computers, dave is still quite fun to be around. zack and steve (not my lunch buddy) played soccer and football in animated video games during ap world history and it was fun watching them play, zack was sweden and steve was portugal for soccer and zack won 1-0 and also for football, steve was panthers who won 8-0 and zack was seahawks. also during 2nd block english i went to the library and on my way back down the science rooms hall, i ran into my special friend, we both jumped back, quite surprised to see each other. anyway, he seemed to be upset over an essay grade, but upon seeing me he smiled and we both laughed. i also told him that it would be okay with his essay grade and that i would help him with his essays. anyway, at lunch my lunch buddy steve was quite entertaining. he was telling me his opinion on “Into the Wild” and he was acting out mccandless’s living in the bus at alaska and it was quite funny. steve and i both enjoyed the book even though we both feel mccandless made some mistakes. anyway, my special friend walked by and he smiled at me and he also helped me with some of my ap english questions on “The Color of Water.” then he went back to his friends and they were all cheering b/c they are really happy that we both are close friends again and my special friend laughed with them. these days i feel like i have a sense of confidence around myself and i appreciate myself more and my special friend is also learning to do the same. after the classes were over, my special friend and i before getting on the buses, he told me that he loved me for the better person i made him become and that no matter what happens, whether we turn out to be soul mates or not, we’ll both be okay. i told him that i was nothing special, that i had my flaws and he hugged me and said “your flaws only make you more beautiful and the person you are is and has always been perfect for me.” his friends were all smiling and cheering and i was crying b/c it was the sweetest moment ever. at that moment i realized that all the jealousies, hurts and fears in our friendship had been resolved and we both felt at peace. also, when i got home we both took a run and enjoyed nature and our friends were both cheering us on and he let me win, but i made it a tie. then we sat down and enjoyed the sun and we saw this beautiful white light surround us and angel wings and we knew that everything would be okay and at that moment all our doubts and worries seemed to fade away and we were surrounded by divine love. while i was cleaning out the yard, my special friend came by and he made me laugh when he said “why are you cleaning out the yard like a peasant?” i replied “i’m making the environment more friendly and cleaner.” he laughed and said “let me help.” we had lots of fun raking the leaves and jumping into them.

I think my special friend needs to feel appreciated b/c he has been bullied and told he isn’t good enough to be an actor. he like me can be withdrawn at times and doubt ourselves when faced with competition. Thanks anita, even though I still hold back at times when I’m meeting new people. I think it’s just part of been a teenager, they always have some insecurities about the world around them. I think my friends have helped me a lot in making me the person I am today. I am thinking of creating a poetry book of inspirational poems to help those lost in life know that they are not alone, to give them hope and also encourage them to get back on their feet . I want to spread the love and positivity to those who are in the darkness, the love that my friends brought to me I want to continue to spread it to people even after I leave high school for college.High school has provided me with some of the best years of my life and has lead me to discover new sides of me that I never knew I had. I hope my poetry book will help inspire others to go for their dreams and spread love and build community. I have just finished three poems called “Breaking the Illusion”, “Good Enough” and also “In the End” and I will post them when I get a chance.

my ap world history teacher teaches ap euro and general psychology and she is a good teacher. i discovered i received a 98 on my physics honors test and 100 on my pre-calc post test. i am going to review trig equations which it’s starting to have some clarity for tuesday’s test in ch.8. i am learning about electricity in physics honors right now and some of the properties are confusing, but i’m going to spend some time reviewing them. andrew helped me today during ap english with solving trig equations for pre-calc. anyway during physics honors, my leg kept cramping so i was always moving it around and dave asked if i was okay, he also helped me make sense of the physics lesson today. also andrew’s lesson on circuits, resistors, conductors and insulators also helped a lot. i am learning not to compare myself to others, but there is so much competition in ap and honors classes that sometimes when someone knows more than me, i find myself feeling dumb. sometimes when people know a lot about mechanics and electricity with their house and i’m still learning, i feel so left behind. also dakota from my pre-calc class is quite entertaining. at first in physics honors we were quite competitive against each other, but now we encourage each other and help each other do well. we often cheer each other on in physics honors or pre-calc. anyway steve (not my lunch buddy) in my ap world history class has a great sense of humor. he played tic-tac-toe and watched a game of clue. i think my special friend is mad at me b/c he jealous of andrew and dave. some of his friends are wondering why he always glares at me b/c most of the time he’s always telling them how smart i am. since he isn’t talking to them about me, they keep asking me, but i’m not sure what to do. also today, i showed dave all the comments i wrote about him on here and he smiled, i showed andrew and nothing really surprise andrew, he just smiled and nodded.

i really enjoy learning about how light reflects and refracts so i wrote a poem about it;) i wrote this after my ap english test b/c i was quite stressed and i decided to do something fun, this poem has elements of physics and also how to live life to the fullest. i also have a poem titled “Rebirth” which is about celebrating the beauty of life and is also a tribute of appreciation to my friends. the last poem is called “Mirrors of the World” and it is about how we hide our real selves and we often look to the world for images that are reflected back to us, it’s about breaking the illusion, of being okay as you are and not just hiding behind a castle of glass being good enough for someone else. you can never be happy if you try to be good enough for someone else if you don’t feel you are good enough yourself. i think my next poem will be called “Good Enough” or “Counting Stars.” Ever since I’ve met Dave and Andrew, my creative spark seems to have lit from within and I find myself writing even more poems and enjoying it;) They have truly changed me into a better person and so have you anita with your compassion;)

Physics of Life

Remember to diverge from society and reflect your own light rather than converging with everyone else

Some mirrors produce small images, some big images and some just right

Look at yourself and your life through a flat mirror where the image of you is just right

It’s not magnified with over-confidence or diminished with low self-esteem

Sometimes life may have curved paths and none of the paths you rake intersect to the goal so back-ray trace your steps (make a plan and look back at how far you’ve come), it’s okay if your goals seem like a virtual image

Even if you feel as if you are encased in a prism, let light come through

Let your wavelengths of color disperse vibrantly through the spectrum of life

Shine the light through the raindrops (tears) and let the light disperse into a visible spectrum of a rainbow each color refracted a different wavelength

Let the light reflected off any boundary or obstacle in life produce an image of you being happy as you are without any magnification

It doesn’t matter how short your wavelength is, just vibrate with the most frequency you can

Don’t let the images in the mirror deter you from the person you truly are

Even if it seems as if the perfect you is a virtual image on the other side of the mirror and none of the paths intersect to the goal, don’t worry

Don’t just stand and sit there focusing on your goal (object at the focal point) since life will pass you by and no image will form

Live your life, follow your heart, create the image you want to see reflected back to you

When you travel a path and get deflected off the path (incident light hitting a boundary reflects off at the same angel making both the incident angle and reflected angle congruent), take another path

Keep trying different paths, different angles, keeping your goal in mind

Even if the image appears to be small and not what you expected (some mirrors produce inverted images with small magnitudes), it is better than having no image at all

Don’t write yourself off yet even if you feel like nothing is converging in life

Sometimes it’s okay to have your light refract from a higher place to a lower place and you bend away from the normal

If everything in life was perfect and we never diverged away from what is normal we would never know of the great images we can produce and how strong we truly are

So live your life to the fullest, let the mirrors reflect everything you possibly could be

Rebirth

New eyes look upon the world

New days awash with light

Awakened with divine love and purpose

I am reborn

This is my dawn

Healing form within

Forgetting all I’m lacking

Releasing all the fear inside

Embracing myself exactly as I am

Listening to my heart, opening my soul

Breaking free from the illusions, letting go of the limitations put on me by myself and the world

Opening my heart, freeing my soul, spreading my wings ready to fly

I’m awake

I’m alive

I look to the sky ready to fly

Knowing that I may fall, but I’m not afraid

I will take a chance

Whatever path I take will lead to home

Keeping my feet on the road, opening the doors I come across

Life is full of surprises some good and some bad

Each experience makes us a better, stronger person

I’ve met many friends who helped me along my path

They’ve taught me how to be confident, smart and athletic

But most importantly they have taught me to appreciate myself, to appreciate the things I have and the life I lead

It’s not about what you don’t have that matters, it’s how you use what you have to help you

If you keep focusing on your limitations, you will never know where your talents are

My friends have taught me much about living life to the fullest, being open to all learning and also to appreciate myself

My friends have made me a new and better person

For that I am grateful

I wouldn’t have learned lots of the things about myself had it not been for my friends

They opened new doors for me and I discovered new sides of me that I never knew I had

Everyone is special

Everyone has an inner spark that can change the world

Life is filled with surprise and adventures

The friends you meet cherish them

The family you have show them love

Cultivate love and happiness around you in this world

Life is too short and there is no second try

Live each day to your fullest

Go for the dreams you desire, the ones that are in your heart

Build the staircases under the dreams in heaven

Keep climbing in life

Make yourself the person you want to be

Learn from your mistakes and use them to grow

I see a New World

I have become a New and better person

Your experiences in life and the people you meet make you a better person

Even if your friends drift away, it’ll be okay

Cherish the memories you had

It is better to have had a moment of happiness in life than spend time in the darkness

Take the experiences and all you’ve learned and go out into the world and spread the light you’ve experienced

Life is beautiful

The world is anew with light and love

Everything happens for a reason

Be grateful of being alive, of being able to experience joy and pain

Through our darkest times we begin to see how truly strong we are

As a phoenix arises from the ashes so can we be reborn

New World, New Me, New You

Be grateful

Enjoy the miracle and gifts life has to offer

Mirrors of the World

Is who I think I am the person seen by the world?

Looking at the views of the world reflected back at me, am I a virtual image or is this the real me?

Am I the person I want to be or the person shaped by the values of the world?

We are all imprisoned in a castle of glass

Always seeming as if the sun glints off the windows

Afraid to show our true selves

Hidden away in the castle of glass, watching the world reflected back to us

The light of the world comes in and it bends and breaks us shaping who we are

The castles we build are so easily shattered and they only confine us in illusion keeping our souls from being truly free

As the world comes rushing in and the walls come tumbling down and the glass shatters into pieces

Yet the pieces can build a new stronger foundation

A broken heart can contain the world

You are not what the mirrors of the world determine you to be

You are only constrained by the limits you place upon yourself

Don’t let the mirrors of the world shape your values

Break free from the castles of glass and truly let the light in

Even if everything has fallen apart it’s okay

Through the darkest nights, the stars can shine

Even the broken pieces can help you become stronger

Not every path you take will lead to success

But you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take

So go for the gold

Don’t let setbacks discourage you

When one door closes another opens

If you spend time in the dark despairing you will only miss out on the opportunities life has awaiting

Life is a gift, an adventure

Live each second as if it were your last

Look at yourself and ask yourself if the person you are now is the person you want to be

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, be grateful for what you do have

Instead of living a life you want to escape from, appreciate the life you have now

Break the mirrors of illusion, set your soul free

Be the person you truly want to be

thanks a lot anita;) i have ap english exam tomorrow and also have to make up the pre-calc post-test since the ap test will take over the pre-calc block (3 hours testing) and i also have an ap world history test (also 3 hours) thursday and have to make up the physics honors test that is if i miss that class. my special friend seems mad at me b/c he didn’t see me at prom and i haven’t had the time to explain that i had to study to him. today, andrew helped me with my graphing calculator during ap english and dave also helped me in physics honors with light reflections and refractions. i am having trouble with the new pre-calc lesson that i learned today about solving trig equations but i think i will practice more and have andrew help me. during physics honors today, when my physics honors teacher said that he was going to add some more notes to the test on thursday (the ap test ends at 12:05 so i think i will have missed at least 30 minutes of the block anyway), i nearly cried. dave was there and he asked if i was okay and the teacher decided not to do that. whew! during ap english, andrew was helping me with my thesis statement in ap english today and we were both laughing at the movie snakes on a plane which coincidentally we both had watched. i love having andrew and dave around b/c they are very helpful and they make me laugh. izzy is like a gladiator as well and she always takes up the challenge no matter how stressed she gets, she still gets things done and quite well and she also makes people laugh with her sarcastic and witty humor. i think i am becoming more like her, andrew and dave. andrew can be quite witty and funny at times when he is stressed and it makes many people laugh and when dave is stressed he makes a list of the steps he can take and tackles the steps slowly and it helps him stay organized.

it’s amazing how well andrew and dave understand me. i was in ap english wednesday and the teacher asked us go up and get a prompt for an essay and i looked at andrew and i could just tell by his expression that he dislikes essay writing as much as i do, then i looked at dave, thinking he would get an extra copy of the prompt for andrew, but he just looked at andrew and i could tell by his expression that he was just getting a prompt for himself. anyway, i looked back at andrew and he had his arms crossed like he didn’t really care if he started the prompt or not, since i didn’t want him to fall behind in class, i gave him a copy of the prompt. when i gave it to him he said ‘i knew you were going to give me a copy of the prompt so i was just being lazy and didn’t feel like getting up.” and he laughed. i think i fake glared at him and he and i both started laughing. then i said “what would happen if i didn’t get you the prompt?” andrew just laughed and said “i know you. you would get the prompt anyway. or i would just get it myself.” when we were doing an ap english review for multiple choice on tuesday and i was stuck on a question, before i even asked, he told me the answer and he said “i knew that was the question you were going to ask.” i didn’t think i had garden club on thursday b/c the library was closed, but when i went to school today, andrew said that they planted more plants and i feel bad for missing the meeting. on wednesday, andrew, dave and i were helping each other write our essays and we all got bored (even dave who literature is his best subject) and we started talking about math and science instead. andrew, dave and i also talked about working out and community service and we were all laughing and the essay was pretty much forgotten. however, we did end up helping each other finish it. so today during ap world history, the teacher gave us a team quiz on the post-classical age and i received a 90 on it, most of my classmates were quite competitive (only eight people in class), but we had lots of fun. today, i was telling andrew how i look better in shorts than a dress and dave laughed, dave said that i had to have more confidence about myself, but it’s true, i am more of a workout type girl than one who goes to parties and dresses up. andrew also doesn’t care about fashion and dave’s confidence makes him rock everything he wears. also after ap english today (2nd block in which we had a great substitute), everyone just ran out of the door eager for prom except for me, dave and andrew. dave was busy studying and taking notes for the ap test and he wasn’t going to prom anyway, so he helped me study as well. andrew who didn’t care whether he was going or not ended up going, so i hope he has fun tonight. andrew, dave and me are all quite simplistic and rather be at home studying, out in nature or helping someone, we’re not much of a party type people, but we do have lots of fun discussing science experiments and exploring nature and talking about math. after ap english, i went back to my locker and i couldn’t open it and andrew passed me and said it would probably open soon, but it didn’t, so i decided to go to pre-calc and on the way i passed andrew who (strange coincidence) couldn’t open his locker as well, so i went to pre-calc and i was early so i went back to my locker and finally got it opened, andrew went to his class and did the same thing. either in pre-calc (me and alison only two with a great substitute who was great at math, every one else left) we took an accuplacer test and i received a 93 on it. my lunch buddy steve was quite entertaining today, he and i were enjoying the freedom of limited work and the more quiet atmosphere of the school after everyone left for prom. we were both laughing at our pre-calc questions, we are learning about double angle formulas, it’s a lot of fun:

http://www.intmath.com/analytic-trigonometry/3-double-angle-formulas.php

during physics honors dave, sebastian, ed (he plays soccer and has a great sense of humor) and luke (took ap chemistry and also has a great sense of humor) were all playing with lasers and learning how light refracts and reflects. we were also making fun shapes such as a spheres and butterflies. dave also helped me with the properties of light as it hits a mirror whether the focal length would be positive or negative. after physics honors i told dave to have a good weekend. dave and andrew are quite entertaining and also fun to be around. i love how i can be myself around them and they make me laugh. andrew and dave were both explaining the theory of light waves and dave traced and walked the path of a wave on the ground while andrew measured the wavelength and amplitude and everywhere there was movement, dave would jump up and where the wave was still, dave would stand still. they both gave me a great visual of the vibration of a wave.

every one in our school hates the PARCC scheduling b/c some classes are only 15 minutes while others are two hours since very few people are taking it. the PARCC doesn’t even count for much. i’m glad they got rid of the hspa since the juniors have sats to worry about and i also have to do ap tests. the classmates are quite fun to be around though. andrew was telling me in ap english today (110 minutes) about his sister’s bold driving and it was entertaining and dave was helping me with physics honors. dave also was teaching people how to parallel park and it was fun. in physics honors (2 hours), we played with concave and convex mirrors for a ten-minute break and sebastian made shadow puppets. in physics honors we are learning about light and object reflections off a mirror at different distances from a focal point. for my two ap classes whenever we have lots of time, we do tons of reviewing and sometimes it just overwhelms my brain. i am glad that my physics honors teacher and pre-calc teacher give us breaks.