sometimes i feel as if i should just follow the model “don’t think, just act.” sometimes my thoughts of fear and negativity seem to swirl around me and i just push them down, i am no longer going to allow myself to be controlled by them. sometimes when i feel myself in fear, i take a second to realize all the talents i have and go for it and let go of those limiting thoughts. sometimes it is good to just focus on the wings of angels lifting me helping me be confident, feeling the wind blow my hair back and experiencing the freedom of my soul and suppressing the fear. i tell myself that fear only holds me back and the bitter hearts of the world would only want that when i could be free to experience the power of what it truly feels to be alive. even though i am fiercely independent and self-sufficient, i think when i am older i will raise a family and i will teach my daughter or son how to be confident, to raise their heads high and to enjoy the beauty of life. i have begun to do yoga and take a dance class and it is fun and the instructor helps me truly realize the power and strength of women. i hope i can teach my daughter to appreciate herself as well. these days it is like a glass pane stands between me and this world and i have begun to focus more within, i have unearthed the dark parts of me that make me restless, but i have learned to bring them to the light and heal. all the strong emotions of hate, fear, love seem to be controlled as i journey within and experience self-discovery, all i feel is a sense of contentment and detachment from myself as i am learning more about the divine within me. i don’t care what path i take in life as long as i find spiritual fulfillment and i realize i have found some guidance in my dreams. i have been receiving dreams of science and math, the earth heart-shaped and filled with light. i think i know what my purpose in life is now.

steve (lunch buddy) is busy studying for ap calculus and i think i am also taking it next year. i think school starts the first day after labor day which is tues. september 6 or somewhere around that time, but it’s most often on a tuesday or wednesday after labor day. for the summer, i have already pretty much finished my ap biology summer work, but since i like science so much, i think i may read ahead and do more research. also i have started a new meditation program where i meditate and it helps me with my mental clarity and healing. i am taking an online class called Empowering Your Life that teaches you how to find your life’s purpose and also find the guides and the courage that will help to pursue it. here is a meditation i did to speak with my spirit guides

I surrounded myself with light for protection and focused on the space above my earlobes. Asking “May I meet my highest and most loving spirit guides? Come and communicate with me now.” I felt warmth through my veins from my fingers to my toes. I saw a rainbow of light lifting me as the background noise of my surroundings faded. Feeling wings wrap all around me, I saw emerald’s green light entering through all my chakras. I saw white light and saw door opening, heard a voice, violin music and trickling water. The voice within my mind intoned “Indeed I am here. You are now being healed and initiated with the power of divine healing. You are loved and empowered now to spread this healing to others. You are healed from within; You are loved and you are whole.” Asking “May I ask your name?”, receiving the answer “I am Archangel Raphael, helping you to discover the healing from within. Reawakening your mind to your inner talents, reconnecting to love and divine health.” I felt the wings wrap around me, a deep clarity of mind as memories of divine knowledge, purpose, healing and love filled me. In my heart, I felt peace as I knew I would be guided through life, as i knew my purpose and talents. All that I, all that I ever was was being filled with divine light and healing. Intoning “I would like to thank you Archangel Raphael for your insight. is there any advice you would like to share?” I saw the wings unfurl and white light engulf me and heard “Go in peace. Go with love. Remember your inner talents and your divine knowledge. You are love and healed. Listen to your heart, let your spirit awaken, follow the path of love.” I opened my eyes filled with a new sense of purpose and vitality, knowing that I would learn to follow my heart and not those thoughts within my mind that hold me back.

there is a thunderstorm this morning at 6:55 then stopped at 7:30, now it has begun again at 3:45.

i agree, but the desert heat is intense. andrew used to live in texas and he used to have a pet scorpion,i think they are pretty cool. the funny coincidence is that andrew’s zodiac sign is a scorpio. i like the idea of being near a forest where there are animals and trees and i can hear the soft trickle of stream water. last day of school was june 18, but i only had to come in june 13 (full day) and june 15 (half-day, get out at 11:25 for physics honors final). i was exempt from all my finals except physics honors, juniors can exempt all if they have ap classes and since i took the ap test in may, i didn’t have to take the ap english or ap world history final and i was exempt from pre-calc final (94 and above for exemption, i had a 99). i feel like the physics honors final was hard this year b/c i received a 75, but my overall grade was an 88. dave and andrew still keep in contact and dave told this funny story about this guy who tried to walk on water after reading the bible story about jesus walking on water and he drowned (i feel bad for the guy, but i still think he was a bit too idealistic). andrew has gotten me to really appreciate science and i find that i enjoy learning how gears and electronics work as well. dave is more into the biological sciences and is quite easy to talk to, while andrew is very technical minded and likes to compete, yet i have learned lots from them. b/c i was so busy worrying about the ap tests and college things throughout february-may, i felt bad b/c i didn’t really pay much attention to my special friend. he was still around looking out for me and there were times when he told me i needed to be more laid-back, but i rarely talked with him. his friends would often question me about him and he would often feel sad at times and when he saw me, he would always smile and ask if i was okay, i would just nod and then think about a school work or application i had to complete. towards the end of may and into june, i was more relaxed and anticipating the summer months, though i still had summer work. anyway, toward the last few weeks of school, my special friend met up with me and he told me that he missed those months when i was busy and he told me that he still cared about me and if i needed him, he would always be there. i cried and i hugged him and told him that i felt bad that i was so busy those past months, but he said it was okay, he said no matter what happens i’ll always stand by you and it will all be right in the end. he also told me that during those few months, he missed the me that was laid-back, but he still cared about me even then, it was just the fact that i was always tense that he was worried about me. anyway his friends were also happy that we were starting to hang out more again. i went out for a run with him today and we talked about our dreams, laughing as the sun caressed both our faces. while we were sitting under a shady tree, he said “i love you most when you are laid-back, but i admire your hard work as well. you are always good enough.”

i agree with you anita because i understand more of the biological sciences more than the physical sciences. andrew is more into the physical sciences. i read in my ap biology book that there is a difference between science and technology, science seeks to discover and explore new things while technology is more physical and seeks to create inventions, yet science and technology can come together in forms of engineering. also the coolest thing is that no matter what language emotions are in (learned this from psychology), people can tell anger and fear more easily than surprise and happiness. i like dave because he doesn’t mind the person you are and he always makes you realize your best talents. sometimes when i feel insecure or annoyed b/c my mind isn’t as technical as andrew’s, dave’s laidback humor helps me realize my true self. i love my friends for the talents they help me bring out. i admire dave’s openness, compassion and loyalty for his friends. he is great at giving advice. while i was feeling a bit sad last night b/c i missed andrew, dave and steve (my lunch buddy), i had the best dream. i felt myself floating on a cloud with a rainbow over me and i was feeling a bit restless wondering if life was passing me by when i heard a voice from above saying “Don’t think, just be. Don’t think of the things you think you are or think you’re not, just be the person underneath all the thoughts.” i was a bit confused and i looked up, wondering where the voice was coming from, but all i saw was a bright sunlight. anyway that sunlight opened up like a vortex and it swallowed me. i remembered crying out “i’m afraid, i don’t think i can go alone.” then i saw a hand reach out to me and i took it and it pulled me up upon the stars, the hand turned out to be the buddha’s. the buddha told me “don’t be afraid, you don’t walk alone. you carry the souls of those who came into your life with you. you are a star and the people you meet are part of you and part of the universe. we are all stars within the universe each in our cycle of life waiting for the explosion of creativity.” i was still a bit restless and the buddha took my hand and said “come, i will lead you on a journey.” i saw my life flash before my eyes and the buddha said “you are breaking apart the illusions, letting go of all that hinders you and being immersed in your true essence. you make the choice, don’t pay a mind to what others are doing, instead focus on the star that you are.” when i told the buddha that i wasn’t sure if i would ever be able to be as good as dave or andrew, the buddha took my hand and enveloped me in a warm embrace of light and love, i felt myself being lifted and cleansed with the purest vibration of love and i realized that i was whole. i realized that everything happens for a reason and the people who come into you life teach me many valuable lessons and change who you are. i feel as if i have become a better person from all the people i have met.

science rocks!

http://phys.org/news/2016-06-gravitational-detector-dark.html

thanks anita;) what do you think of this response to the question ‘Why do you think humans share about 1000 genes with prokaryotic cells (cells without membrane and distinct nucleus such as bacteria) ? What functions might the shared cells serve? Think about terms that deal with evolution such as natural selection (nature selects those who can adapt to thrive), competition, etc. in your response ‘

Answer:

Humans and prokaryotic cells could have about 1000 of the same subset of genes because as an organism begins its evolutionary adaptation to the environment, the process of natural selection could lead to the sharing of genes that were formerly successful in thriving in a competitive environment. Over time as populations increase/decrease and climates change, there is competition for resources as well of the ability to survive temperature changes. All organisms derive from a common ancestor and may share certain characteristics that over time could give rise to new species that exhibit similar traits, and because these traits were successful in helping the former organisms survive, they may be passed on. The traits of prokaryotic cells were mostly unicellular and microscopic, however over time some may have joined together in a symbiotic relationship to give rise to multicellular organism or eukaryotes such as humans. The cells and genetic material within the prokaryotic cells could have combined to form many cells that could carry out many specialized tasks. For example, the vestigial structures in humans such as the bones in our arm share similar characteristics to the webbing of bat’s wings. The bones in our arms allows for flexibility of movement and in the bat’s wings may help the bat acquire food and escape from predators. These shared traits allow us to see the changes and continuities of evolutionary diversity as each organism to acquires certain traits to help thrive in their environment.

being in the school based room is really comforting with the green walls and all the colorful inspirations on the walls, it’s like being out in nature. my school based counselor has a great sense of humor and is easy to talk to. she was the one who gave me the idea for an angel mural and also has helped me start a self-reflections journal. monday, dave is also great, i showed him this ask-angels.com website and he really enjoyed it since he and i both like angels. i drew a card and it came up with “Forgiveness” and Archangel Zadkiel which is really cool b/c i think i need to forgive myself and learn self-love. i think the reason i am really criticizing of myself is that there are people who are sexist against women and they make me so irritated. sometimes when i go out for sports such as dance, some guys will make a remark that girls shouldn’t be dancing and they should be housewives. also my mom is quite criticizing and doesn’t like to workout and i get irritated when i am compared to her.