i have been spending time in nature and also i have been experimenting with science and reading books. dave went on a cruise a few weeks ago and andrew is busy with a new science invention he is experimenting with. i still think about my friends as they cross my mind a lot, but there is so much wonder out in the world that i find myself wrapped up in it. i think my lunch buddy steve is busy with his summer work and my special friend having fun with his girl. i’m just glad that i still carry the memories of my friends with me and sometimes when i do something, it gives me a sense i’m acting like them at times. when i laugh and glance up at the heavens, i get feeling in my heart when i realize i am acting like my special friend who lives each moment of his life in joy. today i got up for an early morning run and i saw a beautiful sunrise. the sun’s golden rays were like a halo striking and illuminating up the world and the crimson sky was breathtaking, also the slight breeze that rattled the trees was great as the birds were singing their tune. i feel like there is a a new awakening in me of my soul b/c everywhere i look at in nature, i am filled with awe. i love just to listen to the rain and the birds flying in the sky.

thanks a lot anita;) i feel like i have become quite detached from the world when someone is angry, i just look at them with a detachment like i don’t care. people spend so much time rushing and letting anger get to them as the seconds of life pass them by when they could be reflecting on how to make themselves better or cultivate more positive thoughts. i know my detachment and optimism annoys some people as i also have begun to develop a solid self-assurance that doesn’t care what others think of me. some people think my detachment means i’m being cynical, aloof in my own world or just too optimistic, but i believe that life is a dance and that even without music, the wings of the soul shouldn’t be caged. a lot of my policy is just to let things go and expect disappointments and just let them go, don’t let them tie you down from experiencing the beauty of what life is meant to be, one of adventure and compassion. the meditations i do keep stress under control and i have seen an improvement in my mental clarity (i have also developed a stronger intuition) and they have given me a sense of vibrancy, a sense of being and power that i seem to emanate. also i no longer fight the dark parts of me, but i allow them to be as i balance them with aspects of light, everyone has a little of gray in them and that balance is what is right. we only need to let the lighter parts of our selves shine, in every star there is a yearning to be massive and powerful to become a black hole (i love science) to suck everything even light in, but i want to live my life in the void of light and it doesn’t matter how massive (how much fame, athleticism, etc.) i have, what matters is that i embrace the person i am who is healthy and happy. i find that i don’t worry about my weight anymore, i just eat healthy and tell myself “it doesn’t matter if they don’t like me, for i am my own self, a divine being and i am happy.” the positive thinking has helped me tone my body and i am quite happy with myself, there is still an inner critic but it is less abusive and most of the time when it seems to sneak up on me to become an inner bully, i don’t let it.
the troubles of the world don’t affect me anymore and i will only listen to the wings of my soul.

thanks a lot arthorgirl;) good luck with your profession as a journalist;) One of my favorite quotes is “You can be the candle or you can be the mirror that reflects it.”~Unknown. You are a candle helping light the way for others. I agree that in today’s society we focus more on money and emotions when we should be working on helping build community. I also enjoy writing as well especially quotes and poetry. I would like to someday post them on a social media site and help spread positivity. I also enjoy pushing myself working on the new puzzles of me, finding out new ways to be more positive and deepen my relationship with the divine. There is a technique a practice when people around me are negative, I imagine a mirror and I imagine the negative energy being reflected from its course into the ground to be dissolved. I agree at times since I also feel two-dimensional like many people don’t see the many sides of me, but they only see what’s on the surface and don’t see beyond into the backdrop. It’s like a drawing on a paper which seems limited, but I try not to set limits within the lines and see all the space that I can cover and shed light upon. I don’t really care much for jewelry and I only keep a watch to keep on schedule, but I rarely glance at it. Most of the time, I just rely on my intuition. I think true power isn’t money, fame, athleticism or beauty; it’s the ability to see the star that is within you and let it shine for others. I don’t mind fame and money when it is used to help others and doesn’t seem too selfish or shallow. I think I am learning more and being more accepting of myself, when I feel doubt I remind myself that I am a spiritual being with a purpose and not just an insignificant physical being. When I meditate I allow the divine to enter into me and tell myself “I am living for the divine and that’s what counts.” There are so many people in this world that set limitations on themselves even through their religion that they forget that God, higher power, etc. are supposed to be loving and encompassing, not one that limits people from experiencing who they truly are. I find that society sometimes puts limits on gender and women often make less than men, but I am working on transcending all of the negative conventions of society. To me it doesn’t matter what race, gender, ethnicity or religion you have, what matters is that you live your life in happiness and you help others.

I agree, anita that an inner bully sometimes criticizes me. i have an online class with a teacher who is helping me learn more on how to empower myself. whatever happens that inner critic doesn’t stay with me for long before i manage to pretend that I am air and I am my soul and all the earth of my physical negativities drop away and are dissolved within the ground. my teacher tells me that the critics don’t live the life i live, so i shouldn’t listen to them. She said “Pay them no mind unless what they say is true. Pay them no mind since they do not help you and only cage your soul.” also i have read that stress and negativity only bring more of it and i realize i want to work on a positive life. i am also learning how to stand up for myself more and use humor to defend myself at times, other times i just ignore people. She has been teaching us psychic protection such as grounding, cleansing and also emanating a positive vibration like a bubble around your aura.

What I’ve learned from Face the Fire by Nora Roberts (a book on witches and an ancient curse brought by evil)

Courage and trust, justice with mercy and love without boundaries, without being binding will help conquer the dark.

The first witch, Air must develop courage and trust in her abilities so she can overcome her fear of her abusive husband. The second, Earth must deal with her emotional conflicts about using her power to avenge her sister’s (Air) death. The third witch, Fire took a silkie’s pelt and his ir from him and took him for her lover. However, the silkie found his pelt and the sea called to him and he forgot their love. The third witch, Fire hurled herself off the cliffs into the sea to join him. The failures of the three sisters lead to a curse upon their descendants.

Nell Channing (Air) was able to face her fears and use her powers righteously and Ripley Todd (Earth) battled her emotional conflict for dark power and succeeded. Mia Devlin (Fire) joined with Sam Logan (Water) who had left her broken to heal and chose life and also love without boundaries. Sam promised that he would never leave her again and asked her for a second chance.

Mia realized when she was a young girl, she had been blinded by love for Sam, she wanted to be with him forever and create a future with him. Mia wanted someone whom she could love that would love her back because she was lonely when here parents were indifferent to her. However, Sam wasn’t ready, he was too afraid to commit to her after seeing how his parents were in marriage and how his dad tried to make things Sam wanted tough to get. When Sam left her, Mia was broken, yet she rebuilt her life. She was able to be strong unlike her ancestor Fire. When Sam comes back and asks her for forgiveness and that he now knows how to really love her and isn’t influenced by his parents, Mia doesn’t want to risk her heart, afraid she won’t survive if he leaves again. However, she had to open her heart and realize that she had held on too tightly and it had estranged Sam. In the end, after Sam helps her save Lulu (her guardian entrusted by Mia’s grandmother), doesn’t force her to share magic with him (but she does because she realizes he is holding back because he respects her) and when he takes care of her in the garden and they talk about their life. Sam tells her that he thought his leaving was justified because of the legend (above) and also that he felt tied down that Mia was so certain of her future while he couldn’t see where he was going. However, Sam made a productive business in a hotel and came back after eleven years and told Mia now that he feels certain he has stable ground (has dreams, goals and answers) and is able to tell her that he loves her. Mia learns how to not be too attached to love and be able to let him go if need be and also to forgive the past.
Sam learns from Mrs. Farley (assistant at the hotel) that the world would be stronger if people were capable of handling life on their own. But being capable doesn’t mean being unwilling to depend on someone and work with someone which makes the romance in marriage. Mrs. Farley also says not to expect things to be handed to you on a silver platter. Also, shaking an apple tree trying to get the apple won’t help. It’s important that you learn to climb the tree and no matter how many times you fall, you have to get back up and try again because if the apple is worth it, you have to try to get it.

So the main moral of the story is to believe in yourself, have courage to face your fears, don’t be lazy and keep trying to reach your goals even if you fall. Also, don’t get too overly attached to love and forgive the past pains and open yourself to trust. Also, be merciful in your judgments and make them in true justice which is merciful. Also, that it is important to take risks even if you are afraid, to push aside your fear and go for your dreams because the prize is always worth the fight. So to conquer fear and darkness requires courage and trust, unconditional love and also justice with mercy.

Also i thought it was cool that Mia Devlin had red hair and smoky gray eyes like fire, nell channing had blonde hair and blue eyes like the sky (air is often represented by the color yellow in wiccan) and rippley todd had brown hair and green eyes like the earth.
in the first there were three sisters heaven, earth and air. heaven didn’t want earth to revenge her sister, but she did anyway.

it has rained a lot this summer and i like the cool temperature and often times there are breathtaking rainbows and beautiful twilight skies. i agree with what you said about age, sometimes i feel like our society has become so concerned in beauty, athleticism and wealth that those who can’t make it or are elderly are cast out like their not much. i like helping people and enjoy helping the elderly with crafts to brighten themselves up. i feel like the elderly and the youth have stories to tell us if people listen, also people shouldn’t just put on false facades just to please others, they should be happy with themselves no matter what age they are. no matter how young or old we have something special to contribute to society. i am working on being less critical of myself and it is working, i have been meditating on myself being healed and entering into the void of the divine and i feel much better about myself. there is one thing i am working on which is forgiveness, my mom is the more criticizing parent and i don’t want to be like her. she lets herself be controlled by stress and often doesn’t work out and keep healthy at times even though i ask her to. she is always complaining about how people wrong her and how her life isn’t what she wants when she could work on changing her attitude and help build a healthy workout and stress reducing routine. i think i am criticizing of myself, but have become more accepting of myself and realize that i am special and not at all like her. i don’t think i want to ever be like her or look like her. i will be healthy, happy, accepting and loving and most of all i won’t let my stress get in the way. most of the time when i’m stressed, i write about my feelings, work out or spend time in nature and just let the anger go. i went running with my special friend 7/3/16 and when i asked him if i was a good person. he hugged me and said that i was a good person and always good enough. when i told him that i was afraid of becoming like my mom he said you are not like her, you have beautiful dreams and you are loving and compassionate. you are more free-spirited than she is. i will help you heal yourself and realize your true worth. you are a beautiful soul and there is no one that i could share so much spiritual love with. when i was still doubtful he told me that i shouldn’t be so criticizing of myself, i was perfect and he said i reminded him of jillian michaels (she is a very outspoken body builder). he also said that he believed in me and if there was one person who was a divine being, it would be me and that i wasn’t like my mom since i was more beautiful and compassionate. he told me that it didn’t matter whatever happened he would keep the spiritual love between us and when we were both around each other we would help each other appreciate the divine within ourselves. he made me cry with his words as he held me and i realized things would be okay and that i was more special than i thought i was.

this is cool:

http://www.mindmovies.com/successblocker/index.php?27949

i was reading the news and i stumbled upon some cool sites:

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/al-qaeda-leader-warns-of-gravest-consequences-if-boston-bomber-executed/ar-AAhRwS7?ocid=ansmsnnews11

Crusader Ranks growing in U.S. Military?

these two sites are a bit depressing, but i still think it is interesting about the world. my favorite history lesson was learning about different religions. i thought it was fun when my history teacher gave us a quiz to see if that religion was suitable for us. we learned about islam, hinduism, judaism, christianity, confucianism and buddhism. i think buddhism suits me best.

here is a cool site:

http://www.wildmind.org/wakingup

i also did a free angel reading on ask-angels.com. The daily angelic inspiration told me to Choose myself, that i was worth it and i should cultivate love. for the angel card i drew archangel ramaela which is the angel of joy. also today i did a meditation for joy and i kept hearing a voice in my mind that kept saying joy and focus on your inner child and i got a vision of an angel in pink and myself inside a rainbow. i get the intuitive feeling that archangel ramaela and archangel raphael are my guardian angels b/c i often see and feel pink and green light around me. also i remember once wearing a necklace with an angel of joy when i was young. i was radiating with divine light in my aura and i had mental clarity. i am getting more and more dreams of me spreading positive light by combining spirituality, science and math to help the world. in all my dreams, i am dressed in pure white in garments like a nun and i am lighting candles to brighten dark corners. i also see myself leaving my physical body, disengaging from all the things that hold me back and becoming part of the heavens. i realize it doesn’t matter if i am alone out in nature and never raise a family b/c i have experienced a oneness, a divine love that is so beautiful and unconditional that i am okay whatever happens in life. i may be another mother teresa or gandhi.