my brain currently is on vacation, i need it to focus on ap calc since i have a test on thurs and also a u.s history test thurs. i think it is b/c i spent five hours last night working on ap biology b/c i needed to get an assignment done for the class. i did some of the problems for the wksht that i got in ap calc and then my brain just crashed. i think i need a break, but there’s still lots of other things to do.

i admire andrew’s confidence, he is always laughing and smiling even when things get tough. i like being around him. he knows how to make a situation more fun and also i find myself seeing the sunshine in many things lately even when seem tough. i will read it, it sounds interesting. i am currently in the middle of a book called “Letters to A Bullied Girl” by Olivia Gardner and in this book there are letters of support to Olivia Gardner who was bullied. they have inspiration and hope. i especially like the sections the book is split into such as “bullied by violence”, “Bullied for being different”, “Bullied for Looks(includes race, gender, etc.). some of the letters are very touching and i love this quote “they can’t kill your dreams, so they assassinate you character.” bullies don’t know your true self and dreams so they attack what they see on the outside, but no one can make you feel inferior unless you let them. there is another quote i like “be prepared to take control of your thoughts and your life. if no someone else will run them.” so you should take control of your own being and be confident or others will try to define who you are. “When people hurt you, think of them like sandpaper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end you end up polished and they end up useless.” “You are only the victim if you define yourself as the victim. No one can tell you who you are without you accepting it. who are they to know what you think?”

here is a cool one using the prevalence of sevens:
7 colors make a rainbow
7 chords make music
7 days make a week
7 continents make a world
7 beautiful letters make us “FRIENDS”

I may write a poem called Reborn Into My Soul and it will be about bullying and healing.

andrew has taught me how to laugh more even when things are hard. he makes me smile when he cracks jokes while we are studying ap biology. i can’t wait to see the certificate for the anniversary of this thread. you could possibly say “Tribute to Earth Angel Shirley’s Life Story” “This is in honor of the many setbacks she faced and the way she overcame them with her scientific wit and poetic prowess.” also put the date and title of this forum as well as the anniversary date. i think i have been experimenting with hypnosis so when the students are loud, i imagine i’m in a bubble and that bubble is oblivious to the chatter of the students and only me and the teacher are in the bubble.

so i think i may need teacher-student tutoring for java b/c i’m falling behind and it’s hard to think with 16 students yelling at once. there are 18 students and two are quiet (me and another girl). i got an 81 on my ap calc test and also i think it’s just nerves that get me for ap calc and ap biology b/c i understand the material until i get to the test and i’m nervous. i understand the logic of ap biology better than i do for ap calc, science just tends to come naturally to me even though i still have to work hard, while for ap calc sometimes the logic is a bit fuzzy, but i’m working on it. as the chapters go on, it’s starting to make sense for both ap classes.

thanks a lot anita. so i didn’ have time to 26 questions on my ap biology test b/c punnett squares for the first twelve took up a lot of time. i don’t think i did too well. but i will channel my energies to doing well on the ap calc quiz tomorrow and also the u.s history ii test. i’m working on staying positive even though my inner bully keeps sneaking its way in. i no longer listen to what it says. it has its times when it makes me feel insecure about myself, but i have found ways to disentangle from its threads. let this earth angel fly with her wings unbounded by the net of the inner bully! and if the inner bully tries to cast its net on me, my wings will slice that net into two. for no inner bully can hold this earth angel from the truth that lies in her heart! no matter what this earth angel will find her way home!

so there are times when i take breaks from studying and i research different topics and i find there are strange coincidences and things that make my hair stand on end after reading them:

Nursery rhymes aren’t as innocent as we think:

Top 10 Children’s Rhymes That Have Hidden Meanings

I knew the “Ring around the Rosy” was in reference to the bubonic plague that killed 1/3 of Europe b/c I remembered my history teacher in seventh grade talking about it:

they used to burn the bodies of those with the bubonic plague to avoid contamination and also make more room. The line “Ashes, Ashes we all fall down” is a reference to it.
Also the “Ring around the rosy” was probably about how quickly the disease spread and the red buboes or blisters that would pop up and fill with pus and blood. Now there is a cure for the bubonic plague with a pill which if you won’t take, you will pass away in seven days.

Mistress Mary rhyme is about Queen Mary of Scots. She was the daughter of Catherine of Aragon who was the first wife of Henry VIII (catherine: Spain and also catherine’s parents were ferdinand and isabella). Mary was imprisoned by Elizabeth I since she planned to assassinate Elizabeth and take over the throne. However, Mary was betrayed by her brother who told Elizabeth of the plot. Elizabeth I was Protestant (belief in J.C. can lead to salvation), while Mary was Catholic (faith alone isn’t enough). Elizabeth I (daughter of Anne Boleyn who was Henry VII’s second wife) was favored more by Henry VII than Mary. During her reign, Mary killed many Protestants and she had three Protestants who planned to assassinate her burned alive. Even though, Henry VII favored Edward I his third child from Jane Seymour the most, Edward didn’t survive long possibly due to pneumonia. Yet for those that treasoned against Elizabeth, she had them hung, drawn and quartered.

The lines:
“Mistress Mary, Quite contrary” are a reference to Queen Mary of Scots
“How does your garden grow?” talks about the people Mary sent to the grave
“With silver bells and cockle shells” silver bells were thumbscrews to crush the thumb and break the nails and also cockle shells were used on the genitals. Both were torture devices
“And pretty maids all in a row.” This is a reference to the rows of people who got executed under Mary’s reign and also the Iron Maiden (device) which would behead people.

Also why is seven so prevalent in our world?
Seven days of the week
Seven Diatomic Molecules (H2, N2, F2, O2, I2, C2, B2)
*the numbers are subscripts

Seven wonders of the world
Seven Main archangels( Michael, Raphael, Uriel, Gabriel, Chamuel, Haniel and Metatron)

The book “Futility or the Wreck of the Titan” by Morgan Robertson was published in 1898, 14 years before the RMS Titanic sank. The book was about the ship Titan who hit an iceberg in the Atlantic Ocean and sank.

Also the Tower of London is supposed to be haunted by Queen Anne Boleyn’s ghost. She has been seen carrying her head in her arms.

So weird quotes (I don’t understand the logic behind them):
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.- Joseph Stalin
One murder made a villain; millions, a hero. Beilby Porteus

from witchtopia.com ”9/11” quoted from Sedna
Most of us know there is no such thing as coincidence. Some of us know that the matrix exists and that most of what we see and deal with is ilusion. Step into the matrix….
This has just weirded me out.
1) New York City has 11 letters

2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.

3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.

4) George W Bush has 11 letters.

This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets more interesting:

1) New York is the 11th state.

2) The first plane crashing against the Twin Towers was flight number 11.

3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11

4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers, was carrying 65 passengers. 6+5= 11

5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 +1 +1 = 11

6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911. 9 + 1 + 1 = 11. Sheer coincidence..?!

Read on and make up your own mind:

1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254. 2 + 5 + 4 = 11.

2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year. Again 2 + 5+ 4=11.

3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/11/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 = 11

4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.

Now this is where things get totally eerie:

The most recognised symbol for the US, after the Stars & Stripes, is the Eagle. The following verse is taken from the Quran, the Islamic holy book:

”For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced: for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace.”

That verse is number 9.11 of the Quran.

Still unconvinced about all of this..?! Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on end:

Open Microsoft Word and do the following:

1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first plane to hit one of the Twin Towers.

2. Highlight the Q33 NY

3. Change the font size to 48.

4. Change the actual font to WINGDINGS

i realize that i what i think about the most tends to happen. so i was thinking about my friend ray in java and how he helps me with code and twice i saw a guy that looked like him outside the library (happened today and yesterday). when i asked ray if he was near the library at that time, he said no. the strange thing is that that guy that looked like ray also took ap calc and ray is in my ap calc class first block, the other guy said he has it 3rd block. so he helped me with ap calc. i wish i knew his name. on tuesday, my special friend saw me coming out of library and going down a hall. so for the following days i was thinking about my special friend and today during lunch i went to the library to study and a class came in. the teacher used to be my former personal fitness teacher from junior year and she was a great teacher, i liked her energetic spirit. anyway, the guy that sat next to me to complete his project was also doing a history project and saw that i was doing my u.s history ii terms. so we struck up a conversation and also helped each other with our history. he looked a bit like my special friend only his eyes were a darker shade of blue, his face thinner and pointier and also his hair isn’t left in long locks, but in a combed hairstyle. he was also taller and had a sharper voice than my special friend. but his walk and also his laugh sounded like my special friend. and when he smiled, it looked like my special friend that i jumped a little. he was a lot more confident and easygoing than my special friend so we began to talk about school in general. when it was time to leave he didn’t bother logging out of the library much like my special friend does. so he left ahead of me and i was just leaving behind when he stopped and lounged up near the adjacent wall just like my special friend would and we happened to glance at each other, say “see you” and continue on our way in opposite directions. i just wonder if the universe is sending me look-alikes of my special friend to help me be more confident around my special friend. sometimes we are shy around each other and don’t really talk. i know from being in the former class with ms. meyers (former gym teacher in junior year) that for the history project she assigns she allows for two days in the library. so there’s a chance i might come across him again, but if i don’t. this one encounter is probably saying that i should be more confident about myself and tell people that i care about them more.

so even though i was nervous during my ap calc test, i managed to get a 100 on it, i got a 88 on my u.s. history ii quiz. i have completed ch. 6 (current chapter projects) for java and will stay during lunch tomorrow and thurs. to finish the chapter five projects and start two projects for chapter four. do you have any advice on how to be more confident when talking to a guy? i used to have a crush on my special friend and now it’s just platonic love, but it can be hard to talk to each other at times. we are often busy with schoolwork or sometimes we are shy around each other. what we can’t say in words, often we say with our actions like we’ll smile at each other or hug. there are times when we will have the courage to tell each other that we care about each other, but most of the time it is through our actions b/c there are some things that are hard to express in words. there are times when i feel guilty for brushing him off b/c i am stressed over a class like i did today when i came out of the library and my special friend smiled at me, but i was trying to get to a class so i rushed past him. at lunch, i acknowledged him briefly before helping a friend with hw. my special friend is good at sensing when i’m stressed, so he asked if i was okay.