I’m glad i helped someone with this post modalsoul. i always try to reassure my girlfriend it’s not an attraction problem. It might be a technique problem but if it is i will help her with that. I read a lot of guys don’t get off with “only” a handjob. It’s indeed really stressfull for a guy when it’s his first time with a girl. Also really nervous feeling, especially when you have a poor body image. I just hope it won’t get too big of an issue for us since i really want to get old with this girl and see a bright future ahead of us except this “little” problem.

VJ,

I don’t drink any alcohol and i don’t smoke and tobacco. i could improve myself on all the other points. I think i have a poor body image. Also it’s really stressfull since she is my first girl that i do this with Ever. I might need to come back on the no fap part, since i think its healthy to mastrubate sometimes. Just not as much as i did before. Maybe once every week or maybe even less. Like i said in the response to Modalsoul, maybe it’s the technique etc that she doesn’t use right and if so i will help her with that. I read it’s actually really hard to go off with “only” a handjob. I’m not finding excuses or blaming her, i am looking at the possibilities

Thank you Anita, you really helped me so much to clear some things up and get some things off my chest.

I will keep you updated regarding the meeting! 🙂

Thanks Anita for your response, i really appreciate it.

Thats right, i feel these days its a lot better and i just feel excited to meet my current girlfriend. With the first meeting there also comes a bit of doubt ofcourse, will she look way different than in the picture which will maybe lead to less attraction or will we fit when we are close. I tend to not think too much about those things and just focus on the good things.

yeah i especially wanted to share my childhood because i dont think it’s the most normal childhood there is. I always feel like i want to be everything my dad never was for me and i tell this to my girlfriend too. She knows all and i can share all with her while feeling comfortable. The childhood and first relationship ever which is also a ldr makes it kind of hard and with a lot of doubts. But i love my girlfriend and want to get old with her like i told before. The last memory i have of my dad is sitting on a couch on the opposite side with my mom and my sister. He made them cry and i had to kick him out of the house and beaten him up for everything he did to me in the past. When i got old enough i have always beaten him to pay him back. I know it’s not right but i was still a kid, what could i do?

So in short i know i will always take the past with me and the thinking about the other girl is way better now by sharing these stories. Now i’m just a little worried about the meeting and if we will be right for each other when close, but i guess i will only find out when i meet her. The only thing i can do is hope and pray that it will be allright. I want to be the best boyfriend to her.

Thanks Anita for all the responses, i really appreciate it.

I feel way more for my current girlfriend and like i said i want it to work out with her and get old with her. She is everything the other woman never was and i’m glad everything went this way. It’s right that i still feel attraction towards the other woman aswell, but i would never want a relationship with her. It just feels good because me and her went through so much and i craved for her so much that i have trouble forgetting her now. My current girlfriend is so much better for me than the other woman, since she shares the same values. Don’t get me wrong, i feel so much and i think even more attraction and desire to be with my current girlfriend. The other woman was a big part of my life but honestly was not really good to me. She liked doing parties, drugs, alcohol and was never there for me. The current girlfriend doesn’t like anything of these things which is more like me. Also, we are always there for each other and really can’t wait to finally meet, unlike the other woman.

Yes Anita, i will be staying with my current girlfriend for the full visit which is a week. I booked a hotel for me and my current girlfriend so we can get to know each other better with this first meeting and just enjoy each others presence.

After the visit, actually she will come to Holland. Since this would be our first meeting if i didnt go to korea i wanted to book the trip on the 22th which i did. A first meeting for 8 months would be a little too much and risky for me, since we dont know how we will be doing when close. When she is there she will study english and dutch language, so she can communicate better with me and has a future in foreign countries. In the meantime i will study korean with her. We just want to be close and i also was not really behind this plan at first, but i really wanna meet her for a long time and act like a close couple. If the first meeting won’t work out i dont know what i will do. I guess it depends on her and how it goes.

Therlie, thanks for your advise, i truly appreciate it :).