Thank you so much Matt, I feel your kindness and your words are so unbelievably comforting right now. It’s hard for me because I guess I am struggling with a constant back and forth of emotions…… one minute all I want to do is love him, support and understanding of him pushing me away and continue to humble myself by getting in touch again……… but the other moment I feel angry that I’m the only one making any effort and chasing……… I tried so hard to walk away in the beginning when his wife had a change of heart, I didn’t want to be dragged into it but he promised me my heart was safe and that he was in it for the long haul………. he promised me I was his soulmate and told me he wants to marry me etc etc etc……. he wouldn’t let me go, and of course I didn’t have the heart to leave him during a time when he said it would devastate him if I did……… I feel he was selfish and now that the divorce has finally taken place and caused tension and fighting with us, he’s giving up so easily it seems…….. like he couldn’t be bothered and see’s me as an annoyance and extra thing to attend to. It seems so unfair 🙁 I guess that’s my struggle………… I don’t deserve it, I was such a great and supportive girlfriend up until the divorce, but even after I apologized so many times for not being more understanding………

I of course do not want to lose him, but at the same time my pride is starting to kick up and telling me he needs to start coming to me at some point………. but then of course, most times I feel I need to be supportive and let it be one-sided for a while, but does that mean I’m not being loving to myself?

Thanks again Sojourner – wow I’m overwhelmed with the amount of support I’ve received during this time from everyone. Thank you so much! You all have given me hope that this isn’t truly the end and sometimes, just hope is all we need to get through our days.

I will absolutely be taking everyone’s advice and following my heart – I promise to keep you all updated. I think I’ll be waiting another week before contacting him, just to let his anger further subside.

Thanks again everyone for all your love and support 🙂

Thank you both for the advice – I actually texted him back after he said that to me as I was wondering if there was someone else……… his response: “Hell no, no woman, no interests, nothing. I’m not in the headspace, I need to heal my life, I can’t be a good boyfriend/husband to any woman, I am a hair trigger right now”………..

So I supposed I should believe him, but part of me is thinking perhaps he’s questioning if I’m right for him – and he recently had some big career success which has prompted a lot of woman to be throwing themselves at him……… his brother told me he’s not interested in any of them and knows he needs to fix his life however he did say this to me “if you guys don’t end up working it out, there may be one of them who I could see him becoming interested in but he wouldn’t act on it until he’s in the right headspace”

So yeah……….. I think you definitely are raising really good questions and I’m honestly overall not sure what to think……….it definitely seems he’s questioning being with me right now, due to all the pushing and fights we had the week before he signed the divorce and week after…….. how do I get him to get over his anger towards me so he can see me like he used to?