Studies have shown that we can indeed become addicted to the chemical released while experienced various emotions particularly anxiety.

There is a time for everything. A time when self help books, quotes… are helpful as they point to a different perspective we may not have noticed before, and a time when they don’t help…. and then we worry about why they don’t help anymore and feel anxiety about that.  It seems we love to create issues that we can worry and agonize over, even the issue of self help not helping.  If this is an addiction a 12-step program could help (not just for alcoholics.)

Having had similar problem, I feel the first step to take a step back and identify the main issue which it seems you have done. Persistent thinking and dwelling on the problem. The solution isn’t in fixing the problem your dwelling on, there will always be a new problem to dwell on, but on addressing the issue of persistent thinking.

I get it. I tend to over think everything and over analyzed on everything I was concerned about especially how I felt others saw me. This insured me a constant source to the chemicals released by anxiety. Eventually I realized that the number one issue I had that created the most anxiety for me we worrying about my persistent thinking… which I thought about all the time. It funny if you think about it, but not so much when your stuck in an infinite loop of your own creation.

Once I could step back from the situation I saw that  my persistent overthinking about the problem was the problem I created the space to deal with that.  I found that accepting my nature to overthinking help a lot.  I’m always going to overthink things, its what I like to do, and accepting it I no longer felt the same level of anxiety when I did it.  It took time but eventually when I felt my anxiety rise and understood its source I was able to accept it and move on. Simply noticing was enough to change. I still overthink problems but don’t experience the anxiety that that used to create.

Our emotions are objectively positive and negative

I suspect this is were we are going to disagree. Is the emotion of sadness objectively positive or negative?

My view is that emotions by their nature are experienced subjectively and very difficult if impossible to objectively measure. The reality is all experience is subjective, and thus illusion.

“The only way to live and be an artist is through positive emotions”

Interesting however the philosophy does not account for problem of opposites and consciousness. (we could never be conscious of the experience of cold if hot was not also experienced nor ‘know’ when the experience of cold is experienced with a associated positive emotion or negative one)

Good and bad are not two sides of the same coin but exist together within each other… and depending on level of perspective actually merge and disappear… there is no good or bad…

The same experience that is good and associated with positive emotion one moment can be experienced as bad and associated negative emotions in the next.  Or even more complex a good experience that is associated with a negative emotion… (An artist might try to capture that)

“For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so” – Shakespeare

You beg the question: what is a negative or positive emotion?

Many would argue that emotions in and of themselves are neither negative or positive but it is how we respond or react to them that might be labelled as positive or negative.

Another issue is the problem of objectivity, subjectivity and semantics when it comes to experiencing good and bad and our attempts at communicating that experience while associating the experiences to positive or negative emotions.

Some might argue that Artist goal is to transcend language/experience and confront the viewer/self with the tensions between the objective and subjective experience of the good and the bad – evoking both “positive” and “negative” emotions which are neither “Good” or “Bad” but information.

That an Artist (we are all artists) might experience ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ emotions does not make him or her any less of an artist. Instead the experiences would inform their work and doing so add depth and maybe even meaning.

Perhaps “The only way to live and be an artist is transform all negative emotion into positive emotion. No longer viewing the negative as negative but positive, its all good… however such a transformation itself would end the experience of emotion associated to the experience… which I guess the person might experience as a “positive” emotion of contentment?

As a general question, how to reconnect with your dreams I think the first step is to create a quite space for yourself/mind and let them all go. The next step, when your ready, is to identify what you mean by dream. Some dreams are fantasy, some are wishful thinking, some of possible that you can work towards. For example, say you dream of winning the lottery but never buy a ticket. Such a dream is a fantasy something you might think about time to time but have not intention to work towards so should not expect to happen. The reality is that most people dream of things that they are not going to spend any time working towards yet still expect/hope to happen… by magic…. and doing so lose connection to all of there dreams

To Reconnect to you dreams eventually you must identify and be honest about what you are dreaming/hoping for.

Rediscover Your Passion by Marcia Wieder,

How would your life change if you believed in your dreams and were able to do what makes you happy for a living?

Believe in the possibility of reconnecting with your passion and what makes you tick. And, the good news — there is a way you can make a living doing what you love. Sometimes we get so busy and bogged down with day-to-day life: the job, the kids, the bills; that we’re too exhausted to even think about what it is that might be missing in our lives that gave us purpose and passion. Maybe it’s time for a re-evaluation. Here are five simple things you can do to reconnect to your passion. Grab a piece of paper or your laptop and ask yourself these questions (watch for patterns):

What did you want to do as a child? Don’t discount this question because you think it may seem trivial. As children, we were honest with simple needs. We did things that made us happy. Why? Because they made us happy! A dream you might have had as a child may still be lingering. Never underestimate the wisdom child within.

What makes you truly happy? Think of a time where you were your happiest. Write it down. Be as descriptive as possible to connect with that memory. What were you doing? Who were you being? How did you feel? What did you look like? If you get stuck, simply ask yourself this: What makes you smile?

What would you do for free? If money were no object, what would you gladly do with your time for little or zero compensation? Do you love to bake? Take care of animals? Make jewelry? Paint? Restore old cars? Give people advice? Are you good at it? Chances are we are great at doing the things we love to do because it’s our gift. The difference between a gift and a skill is that you were born with your unique gift(s) while skills are something you have to work hard to develop. That’s why it’s easiest for us to develop a skill-set around our “gifts”.

What’s your cause? Do you have one? Is this an area missing or lacking in your life? As you get older are you finding yourself in a place where you want to make a difference in the world or your community? What kind of legacy do you dream about leaving? Life gives us challenges that can inspire us to do more and to help others. Consider the impact you can make, which, in-turn will bring you more fulfillment in your life. Fulfillment = Happiness = Passion

Go on a Passion Quest. Rediscover what makes you truly happy by opening your heart. For some this may be a period of time that you completely block off, like a week or weekend at the beach or in the mountains — somewhere quiet where you can hear the “call.” Take yourself out of the stagnant environment and put yourself somewhere inspiring. For others, being with a community of like-minded souls at a gorgeous spa or retreat center will also help you reconnect with your passion.

Once a year I lead a transformational soul retreat called Masters of Manifestation at a world-class spa where we delve deep into what moves us and unleashes what has been blocking us from leading the life we were meant to lead. I teach people how to reconnect with their purpose and passion to live with greater joy. We try different forms of meditation, various forms of soul-work such as art and active imagination and the students receive laser coaching by me in a trusted, safe and supportive environment.

Gratification comes when we are doing what we were meant to do and have passion doing it. We can achieve greater love, happiness and success in all areas of our lives when we are on a path that moves us deeply. When you do what you love and are called to do, it’s aligning your purpose. When you’re living your life “on purpose” you are in integrity with your soul and much more is infinitely possible.

To receive four free world class training videos with proven methods that have helped thousands of people achieve their dreams, visit DreamUniversity.com.

I have a lot of anger as well and tend to quarrel a lot or complain and be negative. I am like a lion at home and a mouse everywhere else.

My brother had a similar problem. My parents never pushed him out of the nest and though he loved them he also resented them for it (unconsciously) and so directed his frustrations as anger against them and the rest of the family. The purpose of anger is to get our attention to deal with the problem however if you don’t deal with the issue and or repress what is really going on that anger will feed on itself.

After reading your post the thought that came to my mind was Golden Handcuffs.

Golden Handcuffs is a term used for those who are induced via financial incentives or such to stay in a job (state of being) they may not enjoy and want to leave. The reality is we all create golden handcuffs for ourselves in many ways. We become comfortable and resist change even when change is what we say we want. The result is usually anger directed within or directed against those that love us. The journey of self actualization/individuation requires work and honesty without excuse of blaming others even when it becomes difficult. A first step may be to make a conscious effort to understand your anger and stop projecting it towards your family. If you treat strangers kindly you can treat your family kindly. Next try to identify the golden handcuffs you might have created for yourself and decide what you really want and either accept them or take them off.

Your in a tough spot. There are so many dimensions to ‘being in love’. Almost everything may be good and still Love might require that a relationship end.  Life/Love demands growth

If you are happy, you can give happiness. If you are unhappy with yourself, you can’t give anything else but that. Gisele Bundchen

3 Ways to Know When a Relationship Isn’t Right for You

How can you love yourself when you’re unlovable? First step, Truly knowing that no one is unlovable, no one. Second step, Reflecting on your expectations and understanding of love so that you might know what your aiming for.

Fear is to Courage as Doubt is to Faith. Meaning that you don’t fully experience courage when you’re not also afraid. Just as you don’t fully lean on Faith when you are not also experiencing doubt.  Likewise Love

Love is easy when everything is going your way and those you love are not pushing any of your buttons, but when you can Love (Witness, Validate, Hold accountable, Encourage, Support, Nurture, Discipline) others and yourself when things  aren’t as you want/hoped/dreamed, then you will know Love.

Love your Neighbor as yourselves… yet many of us love our neighbors better then we love ourselves. We are harder on ourselves while giving others the benefit of the doubt. (But if we look closer if we don’t love ourselves can we really love others.)

The good news is that being in the place you find yourself in this moment means that you are where you need to be in order to develop a deeper understanding and experience of this thing we call Love. It will require that you create some space for yourself so that you can do the work. Start by avoiding making judgments about your self and just being when you find yourself slipping.

You may David Richo Books Helpful as guides.

‘How to Be an Adult in Love: Letting Love in Safely and Showing It Recklessly by David Richo

We were made to love and be loved. Loving ourselves and others is in our genetic code. It’s nothing other than the purpose of our lives—but knowing that doesn’t make it easy to do. We may find it a challenge to love ourselves. We may have a hard time letting love in from others. We’re often afraid of getting hurt. It is also sometimes scary for us to share love with those around us—and love that isn’t shared leaves us feeling flat and unfulfilled.

David Richo provides the tools here for learning how to love in evolved adult ways—beginning with getting past the barriers that keep us from loving ourselves, then showing how we can learn to open to love others.

The first challenge is that we have a hard time letting love in: recognizing it, accepting it from others. We’re afraid of it, of getting hurt. The second, related problem is that we’re unable to share love with those around us–and love that isn’t shared isn’t truly love. The first step to learning to love and be loved, according to Richo’s model, is to identify the different levels of love so that you can hit each one separately. He breaks it down to three:

• Level One: Positive Connection. As simple as being courteous, respectful, helpful, and honest, and decent in all our dealings. Pretty basic, but it makes the world a better place, and it’s the essential foundation for growing in love.
• Level Two: Caring and Personal Connection. Intimacy and commitment to friends, family, partners, lovers. Commitment to others.
• Level Three: Unconditional and Universal. Transcending the love of individuals to the love of all beings; self-sacrificing. The love expressed in the Sermon on the Mount and the Bodhicharyavatara. This level of love isn’t for a heroic few, it’s everyone’s calling.

He then shows us how to incorporate these varieties of love into our lives. It’s a relief to know that even just aspiring to incorporate them really changes things. He also provides exercises and guided meditations for identifying and getting through the things that keep you from getting and giving love at each of these three levels.

Through the lens of these types of love, Richo covers topics such as: how to still be yourself while loving another; how to embrace your dark side; what to do when the one who loves you dies; need versus fear; clinging; healthy sexuality, including fantasies and how to experience pleasure without guilt; how to break destructive patterns in your relationships; and how to have safe conversations with your loved one.

Richo provides wisdom from Buddhism, psychology, and a range of spiritual traditions, along with a wealth of practices both for avoiding the pitfalls that can occur in love relationships and for enhancing the way love shows up in our lives. He then leads us on to love’s inevitable outcome: developing a heart that loves universally and indiscriminately. This transcendent and unconditional love isn’t just for a heroic few, Richo shows, it’s everyone’s magnificent calling.

When you can say Yes to life as it is, the good the bad and the ugly and know it to be love you are coming closer to experiencing Life from the perspective of LOVE were we are all one.