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PrashParticipantDear Sadi,
Sorry to hear of your situation.
Maybe some of the readers here could suggest a place where you can get help near where you are. How is your child in the midst of all this?
PrashParticipantDear Anita,
Yes I was referring primarily about anger in the voice and facial expressions resulting from impatience on the side of the parents or from a need to make the child do something that he or she should be doing. No abusive words but maybe disrespectful words or labels to some extent eg careless, lazy, unfocussed etc.
Hope all is well at your end.
Take care
PrashParticipantDear Friendly,
I can relate to some aspects of what you are going through.
You mentioned about being a social butterfly, then some thing seems to have changed as you mentioned about taking friendships as granted, about connections being meaningless and not wanting to know what is going on in your hometown.
Looking at what has changed may help you in gaining perspective about the seeming lack of responsiveness. Maybe your friends don’t seem you in the same way they used to see you before.
Your friends may also look at what seems to them as inconsistencies in your actions – out of touch for a period and then a period of texting and sending gifts.
Hope to read from you.
PrashParticipantDear Julie,
The mix of emotions are natural given how recent the incident was.
The way to normalcy can happen through a shift of focus towards yourself. Focus on being compassionate to yourself. Appreciate and develop your own attributes. How your friend feels is not in your control but how you feel about yourself is.
When you are comfortable with your feelings, then you can communicate with your friend in a non confrontational way.
Take care
PrashParticipantWow, Anita. Thank you so much for your insight. It was like a masterclass. To borrow your term – a tuition fee less class.
If the parent has shown aggression, harm has been done. The parent realizes that mistake but what’s done cannot be undone. What would you recommend as the next steps that the parent can take?
I am referring to a verbal and facial expression of anger here not physical aggression.
PrashParticipant*Re-posted
Dear Anita,
Thank you for your response
A few questions related to that
1. What of the child who pleases the parents all or most of the times
2. What of the child who is told that he or she is the best
3. How much of an influence are the others in a child’s life – his or her grandparents, playmates and teachers
4. How should parents go about things
looking foward to your reply
Regards
PrashParticipantDear Anita,
Thank you for your response
A few questions related to that
1. What of the child who pleases the parents all or most of the times
2. What of the child who is told that he or she is the best
3. How much of an influence are the others in a child’s life – his or her grandparents, playmates and teachers
4. How should parents go about things
looking foward to your reply
Regards
PrashParticipantDear Friendly,
You mentioned about your contacts on social media. How about the people you interact with on a daily basis? How is your interaction with them?
July 31, 2018 at 11:36 pm in reply to: poetic venting stopped workin' for me a long time ago #219807PrashParticipantYou can see fear clearly when you look in to what has pushed you in to a corner, you can see fear clearly when you look at the reasons behind your harmful behaviors and patterns, you can see fear when you look at what is behind keeping you down.
Move back in to a corner but only to get a clear view of what is in front of you so that you can pounce on it more effectively.
Take care
PrashParticipantHi dreaming715,
I went though that phase a few years back. Initially I used to tell myself – expectations lead to disappointment so no expectations no disappointments. This led to a prolonged period of emotional withdrawal resulting in effectively no progress. But this was the phase I was with myself so I can’t say it was a loss as a good deal of learning about myself took place.
But getting back to the situation, I totally relate to what Neha says about responding well and that is also my current approach now. In addition I keep in touch with my old friends just letting them know that I am there for them if they need me at the same time, balancing my expectations. I have a wonderful family and I devote myself in that role. But yes friends are missed and when they do find the time I try to live and enjoy the experience without holding on to what we had in the past.
PrashParticipantDear John,
Please take your time to grieve and heal. You have been through difficult past experiences and you are feeling hurt now also.
Hope you are taking care.
PrashParticipantDear Helen,
Good to read that you have been able to focus on things that you have a control on. You mentioned in your post that you are starting to fall apart. Are you alright?
PrashParticipantDear Clerance,
Seems to be a lot of confusion in his mind; being the dumper, then deciding to be friends (assuming he is the one who wanted to remain friends since you mentioned feeling weird), then blocking for no obvious reasons and without offering you any reason and then resuming contact as if nothing has happened.
NC started to make you feel better; when he told you not to contact him you were able to maintain NC without any discomfort. Unless you wanted to re enter the same cycle again, NC seems your best option. Curiosity is at best allowed to die its own death.
PrashParticipantDear John,
This relationship seems to have been a lot of work for you with the probing, investigating and needing to peek into mobile. I think trust is very important in a relationship.
Seems that you have done the right thing.
Why do you think something is not right?
PrashParticipantDear Secretlifeofbees,
You mentioned that your job is under a new management. Did you feel better under the previous management? Was the job fulfilling you earlier and now not anymore.
I understand from what you have written that it is difficult currently for you to look for a new job. It is good that you have communicated to them. Is there anyone in the management that you can reach out to?
When I feel overwhelmed and when I find that support is lacking, I tell myself that at one point in time, there is only one thing that I can do; and what I can do, I will put in my best concentrated effort.
Hope this is of some help.
Take care of other aspects of your life in this difficult time.
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