Wish I knew the answers – going through the same thing. My advice, of course easier said than done, is to try to move on and forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. Acknowledge it, then accept it (makes amends/apologize if applicable) and move on. Treat yourself as you would a close friend.

Two things I’ve found very helpful are these talks:

(probably more the shame/guilt in your case, but I think both are relevant to everyone)

Keep going and trying to improve and take each moment as it comes. You’ve already taken huge steps in realizing a better life – you should be proud!