Not all meditationa are the same. Nor is every response to kundalini the same. I would like to point out new studies in meditation which study mindfulness or passive meditation techniques versus tantric or focused meditative practice. the results are very different. i am pointing this out because it goes to the issue of feeling out of control from kundalini. people with tantric training can have entirely different outcomes than those without such training. read this article. skip the technical stuff and consider the results. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2665945X22000262

they always say to serve mankind. but serving and serving are two different things. imagine two people cooking for others. one just makes things but doesn’t care, while the other cares alot about what they make. is there a difference?

take community college classes

Bali – outdoor rooms and showers. The stars are different! Beautiful Hindu temples. Nice people.

I’ll never forget my first love. Of course. Or how she crushed my very soul. It took me a year to get over her. And I’ll never forget the lesson that I learned during that year – that what I loved about her was all a product of my own mind. She wasn’t who I loved at all. Now did we ever think alike, or communicate in truth. I was in love with love.

My later relationships were more true. Actual communication. Consideration. I looked outside of my own mind. I stopped romanticizing the whole male female thing. While yes I did realize I need a partner in my life to feel complete, I never again made the mistake of thinking that another person is as simple as to be there just for me, or to satisfy my own romantic needs. The other is a partner with whom one can enjoy some comfort when time permits. With my present partner we have always been on odd schedules and never see each other. But we’re happier around each other than around anyone else.

Sacrifices. I sacrifice easy dating to spend time with the one I care most about. Sacrifices. She and I are nothing alike. We have to discuss things. Sacrifices. There’s no such thing as a soul mate, unless you make one. But don’t bet on such a thing. If your souls mate then that’s it. You will know the truth of it by how much you both are willing to sacrifice to remain together.

Thanks for reading.

i prefer to have no spiritual community, also have no people contesting my beliefs. i don’t share them in daily life, and thus i get the best of both worlds, the material, and my own peace of mind. it’s very nice doing tantric practices that for thousands of years would have gotten one killed as a sorceror for the chanting and so on. so much nicer to not have to explain.  also even among a close community everyone interprets the teachings differently. better to grow at ones own pace. also feel no envy at those who seem more evolved.

buddhism is not a religion that can be easily explained. it’s best to let people find out about it themselves and not talk about what means much to oneself. enjoy the silence, and the non-answers

I’m nearly 60 now, and have experienced kundalini in a pure way since I learned Transcendental Meditation when I was 14.  It sounds like the OP had some experience of kundalini, yet no real understanding or knowledge of the value of kundalini. Also, one should consider the truth of the tantric path. When they tell you it is like being a snake in a cane. No way out except through,they do not mean you can change your mind later. If you enter the tantric path you must follow it.

That said, sure kundalini is like grease or oil to the mind. It makes the mind flow and makes it hard to hold onto ‘samsara.’ Makes it hard to hold onto ‘vritti’ or tendencies. One who immerses in teh kundalini bliss will basically erase new vritti or tendencies. It is hard to train the mind in a new topic when doing intensive kundalini. But not impossible. We who did TM were taught to meditate, and then to act in the world. And not do both at the same time. Meditate when you meditate, act in the world when you act in the world. It’s a type of training which it would be best in most spiritual aspirants did their lifestyle as such.

Because there are so many types of teacher, and path. Well, never mind that. There are millions of teachers, but very few are an actual path. A path implies that one can return to it. That the way is highlighted, as if on a map. A true path will exist from one lifetime to another.

TM as such is not a path. Most Hindu gurus do not teach a path. Kunbdalini as a lone meditative impetus is not a path as such. Tibetan Buddhism is a tantric path which has existed for nearly two thousand years, and from lifetime to another. One who sets foot on that path can return to it in a future incarnation.

The putting together of a bunch of puzzle pieces is just going to end in confusion. The OP is very confused. Kundalini is pure potential for the mind. As such it’s like mindstuff which hasn’t become concrete. With a solid meditative path and focus one can accomplish anything with the mind and especially with kundalini practice. But one needs to have some basis in understanding.  In Tibetan Buddhism the most accomplished masters practice ‘Trekchod.’  It is an understanding known as ‘releasing the bundle.’  One is a bundle of aggregates. While one tries to control them all intellectually it will be like wrestling with a bag of kittens.

The first years of kundalini experience are hardest. Especially if one has no specific path.  In TM one meditated for 20 minutes twice a day, and so kundalini would be active just during those times, and not during regular activity. And so one didn’t need to wig out during regular life.

The problem here is not the kundalini. Kundalini is the source of blessedness. The problem was not having a clear path, actual good teacher, systematic lifestyle. You need more structured lifestyle when transforming the mind to a more free state.

Just Sayin. Good Luck with That