You’re welcome! =)

Hi there,

I know this post is a week old, but I just saw it and felt compelled to respond. I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through. It seems like a lot to deal with all at once, looking for a job, trying to find what interests you, and dealing with pressure from your parents. I can understand why you feel stressed!

Have you ever tried yoga before? Most studios do some type of work-trade, allowing you to take classes for free if you do a shift behind the desk. I did this at the lowest point in my life, when I felt lost and didn’t have much money. It was life-changing for me, because it helped me manage my overwhelming stress, provided me with a sense of community, and also helped me figure out what I wanted to do with my life (a consequence of much clearer thinking!)

Meditation is certainly helpful, but if you’re doing it by yourself, it’s not always easy to be consistent. It’s easier to make mindfulness a habit when your practice involves other people.

Regarding your living situation, could you stay with a relative for a while? It sounds like your home environment is pretty unhealthy. I imagine it would be tough to change that without a job–but if you could stay with a friend or family member, even just a few days a week, that would give you some space away from that drama.

I know this may all seem overwhelming right now, but please know it won’t always be like this. You’re just starting your adult life, and it takes time to figure things out, but you will in time. Try to be gentle with yourself and trust that if you keep exploring your options, you will eventually find work you enjoy, and things will start coming together.

You are in my thoughts!

Lori

Hi Jo!

What a great idea, to ask for the community’s input in creating your relationship webinar! I moved this thread to the “Projects That Need Support” section because I think this fits well here.

I’m going to check out the download now. =)

Lori

Awesome list, Casey! It sounds like you’re a great friend to have. Here’s mine:

1. I’m compassionate. Some people call me a “bleeding heart,” but I think it’s far better than the alternative!

2. I think outside the box. I rarely do anything just because other people are doing it or it’s because I’m told it’s what I “should” do. In fact, I usually question everything I’m told to be sure it makes sense for me.

3. I’m adventurous. I’ve created a lot of exciting possibilities for myself, and I’m always open to new ones.

4. I’m a talented writer. I love knowing that I’ve used this talent to help and inspire others.

5. I enable other people to inspire, as well. I’m proud of the time I devote to helping others craft and share their stories for the Tiny Buddha blog.

Thank you for sharing this exercise here. It made me feel good to put this list together.

How are things going with you, in terms of your depression?

Thank you so much! =)

Hi Isabelle,

I just read through your post and I thought I’d add something to Buddhist Wife’s wonderful advice. This one act does not define you. You may have felt gross and/or ashamed in that moment, but you do not deserve to feel those things for having made this mistake.

I shoplifted when I was your age, and I also got caught and detained in a security room–with my mother, who was an aisle over when I shoplifted. Even more embarrassing (I thought), I shoplifted diet/digestive items because I had an eating disorder. I was mortified and felt completely down on myself–and then I let those feelings fuel more behavior that led me to feel ashamed. If I were to go back and talk to my younger self, I’d say, “You deserve and need your own love right now. You made a mistake, but this mistake does not make you.” Then I’d try to be objective and learn what feelings inspired my actions instead of letting my feelings control me.

That’s something that could help you right now, as Buddhist Wife recommended. If you can get to the root of the feelings beneath this incident and learn something that can help you going forward, it can even end up being a positive experience.

So that’s my advice: try to figure out what led you to do what you did, and then find a lesson in that to help you move forward wiser and stronger. If I were there right now and it didn’t weird you out, I’d give you a big hug–as would anyone who could see just how much you’re hurting in this moment. I know it’s physically impossible, but mentally give one to yourself!

Love,
Lori

Hi Melissa,

I am so sorry to hear about what you’ve been through. What a nightmare! I can understand your feelings about this. He treated you horribly, and at the time, you didn’t think to take legal action against him. It makes sense–you likely felt all kinds of conflicting emotions and just dealing with them took a lot of energy.

I highly doubt he is completely happy right now. Clearly he has a lot of his own issues or he wouldn’t have treated you as he did. He directed a ton of rage at you, which tells me he’s carrying around a world of pain. But more importantly, you are fortunate to be free of that horrible relationship now. Whether he’s happy or not, you now have a chance to be happy if you’re able to focus on the present, not the past.

Have you ever tried meditation before? It’s a great way to clear your head and come into the present moment. It will help you avoid replaying in your head what happened and what you could have/should have done. You can actually find all kinds of guided meditations on YouTube. Just search for “regret” and “meditation” or “let go” and meditation.”

Also, you may find these posts helpful:

Get Past It Instead of Getting Even: Revenge Isn’t Winning

Forgive Yourself and Change Your Choices

I hope this helps a little. You are in my thoughts!

Lori