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TraceyParticipantYes I know what you are saying LOL it is currently sitting simmering with us both as I have mentioned to him of the lack of intimacy and asked was I doing something wrong. I felt if I mentioned that it was perhaps something I was doing wrong he would be more comfortable to talk about it, as I know it is a very touchy subject!!
Well we will see where it goes from here and if there are any improvements in that department. If not I have decided to sit him down and ask him outright about it. Not nice and very bloody confusing. 🙂
TraceyParticipantIm going to give a list of things i have noticed for anyone that wants to possibly advise 🙂
He appears slightly camp in his stance.
He shaves all over.
He uses face cream and lip cream.
Lack of interest in being intimate.
I have noticed that he seems to have problems in keeping an erection at times.
He has slight breast tissue and what us women would call love handles, he is athletic build but does not seem to have much muscle mass, this made consider did he possibly have and imbalance of hormones ie possibly a few too many female ones, and in turn this may affect his sex drive.Bottom line is I do really like him and if the doubts about his sexuality and lack of intimacy wasnt there i think we really could go somewhere.
HELP!TraceyParticipantThanks Inky my head is all over the place lately with tryiny to work him out. I really should move on and dont know why I am not doing so. I do like him and we are together we get on great.
You say you experienced this. Did you have doubts when you were together? Was there any signs or did you have problems when it came to being intimate?Tracey 🙂
TraceyParticipantHi Joyce
I can fully sympathise with you as I feel the exact same way. It is very hard to understand and to live with. I suffer from extreme lonliness and separation anxiety. Sometimes it makes me so low and depressed and cant seem to find happiness in anything. I guess I am in love with being loved and loving someone too 🙂
Not a bad way to be just means we have too much love inside well thats the way I look at it sometimes heheBut on a serious note it is very hard to live with, it makes you feel very empty. I personally can go from being very very happy and relaxed to being absolutely depressed when my BF or close relative leaves me 🙁
I would be happy for you to contact me 07540956600 is you would like to share more.
Hugs Tracey
TraceyParticipantThanks so much Kelly. Yeh I do know that I have deep seeded issues relating to my past. Mostly rejection from my biological father and then a very abusive stepfather. I am attending CBT at the minute for my anxiety and trying to work through a few things 🙂 I will certainly have a look at this article. I have always had attachment issues and abandonment issues too.
Life is certainly a crazy ole thing and I think the deeper the person you are the harder the struggle. But I am trying to stay positive and not focus on him and what he is thinking of me.
Thanks again for you kindness.Love T
Of tommorrow morning for 2 nights hopefully will be nice. 🙂
TraceyParticipantAhh I really do feel for you today. That whole insecure anxious thing around a relationship makes you miserable. This site will help you if you let it. There are some very inspiring uplifting people on here. Chin up and smile 🙂 🙂
TraceyParticipantOOOOOOOhhhh that sounds so like the same problems I was having and truthfully I think it all boils down to ourselves. We have to learn to love and respect ourselves and truly if someone you are with makes you feel very anxious and uncomfortable, I really dont know if its worth it :-/ I suffer anxiety anyway so sometimes it comes out even more so when I am in a relationship and “In Love” or maybe like you are doubting, think im “In Love”.
Its a sad lonely place to be when you are in a relationship but sometimes still feel alone and you are not getting full happinness from it. You deserve to meet someone that you can truly love and never have to feel uncomfortable with. You should be out with her and be looking at her with pride saying “Thats my Girl” 😉Life is too short….. I have stayed in relationships for fear of being on my own, Im not sure if you would be similiar. But then again maybe you do really love her and maybe she really loves you. Perhaps she is just a social butterfly and a little flirtatious without realising! Is it maybe related to alcohol, when she goes this way??
My last word to you would be – that mountain you talk about, you will be at the top!! Maybe not with your present GF, but you will be there 🙂 Please be gentle and loving to yourself and think that if this person is making you feel so low and losing your own self worth then maybe its time to move on.
Thats a very hard thing to do I know. Im 37 and still hoping to reach the top of that mountain you are refferring to.
Keep hope and start to focus on your own happiness a bit more.
Tracey <3
TraceyParticipantWell getting of the whole Asian thing and to the most important point being you feel you have lost someone special….
I would advise you to do everything in you power to find him, but only if you are truly in love with him and you are willing to sit down and think about how the distance between you would work out if you were to rekindle.
I would say that sometimes things happen in life for a reason and maybe he was not the one for you. You are still very young and have your whole life ahead of you.
Also I know that you were both friends via facebook etc even though he had a girlfriend that he was in love with. But he then said that he had fell in love with you also! My worry would be that if you were with him could he possible befriend someone else and then fall in love with them!!
Very complicated situ however it seems also strange that he would just leave uni and move away just because you were not willing to accept him. Maybe a higher being has stepped in for you and made the decision for you for your own wellbeing.Chin up and remember there are plenty more nice young guys out there. 🙂
TraceyParticipantThank you so much Jasmine for taking the time out to give advice and comfort. It is much appreciated and I hope to take something from this to help me on my more positive journey 🙂 sending hugs
TraceyParticipantThanku sooo much Lavinia (which was also my grandmothers name) 🙂 taking the time to write all that and for little ole me…
I have to say getting feedback and advice of all kinds has already started to relieve my anxiety. I am doing my best to stay positive and relax and not get too worked up. Im away this weekend with the new man so hopefully its a gud one. Staying away from alcohol too as it has been making my mood worse of late xxTraceyParticipantThanks elizabeth xx
TraceyParticipantHi just reading your story 🙁 it is very hard when a relationship ends as im sure we have all been there. Even worse I would imagine when your ex is hitting on a freind and anyway if she was a friend she would not be flirting with him at all. So let them both go and stuff themselves hehe……
But the lonely thing you talk off is the worst bit, loneliness can eat you up and send you on a downward spiral. Have you a good family structure? Or best friend you can talk to about things?
Sending hugs your ways xxTraceyParticipantThank you for your kind words x
TraceyParticipantA massive thanks to both of you 🙂 was nice to get a reply. Both very different but equally true. I sometimes think that im not ready to get emotionally attached again so soon but then i do like him Cyd. But one thing is definate I need to work on self love and acceptance. I seem to suffer the most horrible lonliness that fills me up and makes me very sad. Any advice on how to learn to be loving to yourself 😉 ♥♥ i also go to cbt to help with my low self ezteem and anxiety. But early days x
TraceyParticipantHi Alice
You sound very down in yourself at the moment and I know how that feels, I have been there.
To give yourself a chance in life of love and happiness I would say that you would be best to move and and go through the hurting phase. You will come out the other end and you will meet someone else, Promise……Do you suffer from Depression or Anxiety? You mention feeling bad towards yourself and wanting bad things to happen to you. It sounds to me that you are suffering Anxiety and Low Self Esteem. Do you not have any friends or close family that you could talk to about this?
TRacey xx
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