I have been in the same situation and overall only time heals. Getting busy is very important as you realize life is not only about love (the romantical one, at least) and in many situations we will be utterly alone, so the most important relationship you have to work on and nurture is with yourself. It is important to acknowledge and sit with your thoughts and emotions as they come and not always try to run away from them. Believe me, sometimes a little bit of pain works as a balm for the soul, and eventually you will be thankful for having been through all of this.

Also, avoiding hearing from him is very important. No social media, no pictures of him in your gallery, no saved messages, I would delete everything… our mind can play very tricky games sometimes, and keeping memories of him will only make your brain edit and idealize the situations that you went through together,

I think that exploring someone’s suffering through the roots of their childhood might be helpful at some point but not at the brink of despair. I have been going through the same issue, feeling lost and in despair after my break up, and there’s not much we can do about it. You got to feel what you got to feel. Let all emotions come to surface and one day, at some point, you will feel that enough is enough, at least for that time. Talking to people is also very helpful, don’t hold your emotions or feelings, and most of all, when you feel like you’ve had enough, surround yourself with good things, such as books, series, going out with friends, whatever nourishes you. Accept what life brings you, what happens to you. Don’t question it, live it.