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KatieParticipant
Mark and Jenna,
thank you both
KatieParticipantMark,
I don’t know if this could be the cause of it but my parents are pretty uninvolved in my life. My dad is always at his job and my mom has depression so she is in bed a lot. I was directionless and friendless until the age of 14 when my cousin and I got super close and she basically became my parent. She told me what to do and how to act in certain situations. I was really motivated to start my life when my cousin came into the picture because I spent all day doing nothing. I think I did nothing because I had no guidance from my parents. When my cousin helped me, she basically gave me the message that if I want to make friends I needed to look pretty. So I started dressing very nice, doing my hair and makeup, and I made a lot of friends. Then I met one of my best friends who is beautiful and we became super close, but I noticed how much attention she got for her looks. I learned that being pretty = the key to life. Even before my cousin, when I had no friends, I would still occasionally get approached by a guy in my class because he thought I was pretty. For a time, my only social interactions with people in my class were guys who thought I was pretty. That didn’t help.
- This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by Katie.
KatieParticipantMark,
Yes you are correct I am 19. And honestly… no there aren’t other things that make me happy. Maybe there was a time when other things made me happy but currently, no. There isn’t. Not even the people around me make me happy except my boyfriend. I don’t feel successful or happy in any area of my life. And if there was, I feel like they were washed away by the constant pressure I feel every day. I was in therapy for a little bit, but I never talked about my body image issues. I’m currently looking for another therapist as I am living somewhere else in the summer. I hope that will help me.
KatieParticipantMark,
Yes, but I don’t know why I just can’t change my way of thinking. I’ve tried and I just want to be pretty. It’s weird because I crave approval from others regarding looks, but nothing else. At the same time, I am trying to get my life together which requires me to be working and I can’t take time to dress nice or do my hair or makeup. I really don’t know why but beauty is so important to me.
KatieParticipantTo everyone who replied,
thank you all your responses help me so much.
KatieParticipantInky,
Thank you so much that advice helps me a lot in a situation that I don’t know how to handle on my own <3
KatieParticipantInky,
Thank you. Do you really think people will forget? Do you really think he will grow out of this immaturity? I am just so hurt and confused.
KatieParticipantKahani,
I’m good! It took me a while to make friends but I made a few good ones and now I met a guy who I consider to be my best friend! I have been following your advice and I am happy I have found people that I enjoy hanging out with! Thank you for your help and support đ
November 30, 2018 at 11:06 am in reply to: I finally broke up with my boyfriend and am unsure of how I feel #267097KatieParticipantTalah,
Thank you for the advice. I will let you know if I have anything else to ask because I probably do. I am just currently still in shock that I still don’t know how to feel. Thank you <3
KatieParticipantAnita and Inky,
Thank you guys
KatieParticipantRiris,
You gave me a good idea to hang out with a guy and a girl from my philosophy class. We are supposed to meet up tonight to work on our essays. I’m gonna try to get friendlier with them and maybe even become close enough to start hanging out regularly. They are the type of people who like to have fun and those are the types of people I want to be friends with.
I have tried a couple of times to become friends with the girls on my floor but it hasn’t really worked. They are all nice but they have become close. I haven’t had many opportunities to see them. I think I have social anxiety. Today, while I was waiting in the lunch line I saw a girl from my floor and a guy from the floor below me who I know. When I saw them I said hi from across the way but they didn’t hear…. but then they did. I don’t know why but I felt so awkward when everyone in line saw me say hi and they didn’t hear. Well, they ended up coming over to me and I was acting all awkward and blushing. They could probably tell something was wrong with me… ugh I hate those moments. I don’t want to be seen as weird. And then now I am worried… am I going to ruin my reputation if I keep acting so nervous and blushing? We actually had a decently long conversation after the incident and I KNOW my face was red but I was talking normally.
KatieParticipantRiris,
Yes, that is true. I now know that a man should treat me with kindness and respect. When I am looking for someone new in the future, I will now know what I want. I think I just feel very uncomfortable because I broke the news to the guy that I do have a boyfriend. It was awkward. And I feel like have no friends because… I kinda don’t. I have met people and I know people… but I don’t hang out with anyone on a regular basis here at college. It sucks because I am such a social person but I am timid. I also go home often to see my boyfriend/ friends. At first, I thought the reason I had no friends was due to me continually going home on weekends… but I am starting to think that I go home every weekend to avoid feeling lonely on Friday and Saturday nights. And when I do go home, it is pretty fun. My boyfriend’s college is 40 minutes from my house so I drive up there and he takes me to parties. I do enjoy spending time with my boyfriend and his friends, so it is good. However, I wish I had more friends. How/when will I meet people who I enjoy being around/ who enjoy being around me?
KatieParticipantUpdate:
I hung out with the new boy today and realized I don’t like him… and I am disgusted at how much I thought I did. But that’s another story. Well, now I am back to hating college and wishing I wasn’t here because I have no friends.
KatieParticipantInky,
I think I am going to follow that advice. But I need a little bit more time to think so I’ve decided that in the mean time I am just going to keep the new boy and my relationship as a friendship. We will be friends until I make the decision to break up with my boyfriend or not. I’m not counting on this new guy to take my boyfriend’s place of course. I only want to break up with my boyfriend if it is the best decision for myself. But I can’t get over how much he seems to like me seriously. I have an essay due next week and he wants to help me with it and he even offered to do research on the subject to help me. He keeps offering to do things for me in a very caring way that screams “I am able to take care of you” it is weird. I know it is just infatuation since we just met, but the thing that makes him so attractive to me is he is a little bit cold and distant when you first meet him. The class is very small and he rarely talks in class. When I first met him I noticed he has a very “I don’t care about this” attitude. For some reason I find that so attractive since his coldness is mixed with the fact that he acts like he cares so much about my well being. It is like he is tough, cold-hearted, and strong when he has to be but he wants to show me his caring side to win me over.
- This reply was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by Katie.
KatieParticipantTo add more: I just need to explain a little bit more of why I am so attracted to this new kid. He is sweet and kind but not too much. Iâm into bad boys and he seems to be that way from the outside. However, his personality shows that he is very kind and caring. His parents taught him how to treat a girl. He has never explicitly said he likes me but I can tell he does because he constantly offers to do favors for me, constantly tries to bring up hanging out, offers to drive me home, offers to help me with my homework, he tells me about his family and asks about mine. He asks me stupid questions like âwhat is your favorite colorâ he constantly goes out of his way to talk to me. We met in class and he always walks me to my dorm when the class is over. My dorm is further away from the building than his is yet he still walks me. Ugh. I seriously canât get him off my mind. I love that he knows exactly what to do to get the girl he wants. I love how smart he is. He is studying to be a neurosurgeon and is just very smart. Yet he claims he thinks I am sooo smart when in reality he is very smart. The only reason he thinks I am so smart is because I do very well in the class we have together. I seriously canât get him off my mind but I love my boyfriend still…
also I know itâs wrong to snoop on peopleâs phones but I always use his phone to play games and he does the same with my phone. So it was natural for me to go on his phone but then I saw the text messages from his ex accidentally.
- This reply was modified 6 years, 2 months ago by Katie.
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