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Katie

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Viewing 15 posts - 106 through 120 (of 134 total)
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  • in reply to: How can I have friends again?? #191373
    Katie
    Participant

    Mark,

    I am still friends with Amanda but I don’t think she is ever going to be close with me again while dating her boyfriend. I can just tell she doesn’t really care for me as much as she used to. I can reconnect with Anna but the situation is kinda complicated. All of my current “fake” friends hate Anna because she did something morally wrong. I was the only one who was willing to be friends with Anna after she did this bad thing but everyone started accusing me of being a bad person for still caring for her. I guess they saw it as me supporting someone who would do something like that (yeah… what she did was bad). This was a while ago and at the time I was unsure of what to do… so I dropped contact with Anna along with everyone else. On top of all my friends hating her, my controlling boyfriend didn’t want me to be friends with her either. So if I reconnect with Anna (which I am greatly considering because I miss her a ton) I will lose all my friends and my boyfriend. But I don’t think any of my friends or my boyfriend actually care about me so maybe that won’t be a bad thing. Maybe I should just reconnect with her and do what I want and if everyone ditches me for it will show their true colors.

    in reply to: How can I have friends again?? #191361
    Katie
    Participant

    Mark,

    I just am looking to make real friends like I used to have. I feel like I have nobody. I see the things the people around me say about others (not nice things) and I know they say the same things about me. Nobody around me cares about me or likes me. It seems like everyone pretends to like me when they don’t actually. And I have no idea what to do about it

    in reply to: How can I have friends again?? #191349
    Katie
    Participant

    To add on…. hanging out with my boyfriend has been the only thing that has felt like hanging out with Amanda and Anna. And even though I am no longer friends with Anna, I am still friends with Amanda but it is no longer a meaningful friendship. I haven’t hung out with her in months. Her total personality is different as well. She isn’t as fun as she used to be.

    in reply to: Boyfriend broke up with me after saying he will change #190445
    Katie
    Participant

    Oh.. and to make matters worse. We had 2 vacations planned together, tickets already bought. AND I am babysitting his leopard geckos at my house while he is at college, but he told me to sell them because he doesn’t want them back. Good! We used to care so much for those geckos, we bought them equipment and put a lot of love into them together. Now he doesn’t want them. Its almost as if those geckos were a symbol for our relationship. After he gave up on us, he also no longer had any care for the geckos.

    in reply to: My boyfriend's mom talked badly on me? #184227
    Katie
    Participant

    I remember being a super outgoing girl with lots of friends and now I am so isolated I hate it. But when I am in social situations, all I want to do isnā€™t be by myself now. I donā€™t even have the same personality that I did before. I used to be so loud and talk easily and whatever. Now Iā€™m awkward and reserved and seem like I want to leave.

    in reply to: My boyfriend's mom talked badly on me? #184225
    Katie
    Participant

    So yeah. I think I should leave but also realize how difficult it is. 2 weeks ago I was a different person I donā€™t know how I was so easily able to say ā€œIā€™m unhappy itā€™s overā€ I think it was because I was honestly just so unhappy. He made me so upset and I was able to see the light outside of the relationship. Now I have become comfortable with the relationship and how he has been making me feel. I also have another problem. I am completely isolated from everyone in my grade (Iā€™m still in high school) when before I was very social. I think I isolate myself because I am kinda depressed. The only people in my life are my boyfriend and 4 friends (I am only close with 1 of those friends though).

    in reply to: My boyfriend's mom talked badly on me? #184223
    Katie
    Participant

    Anita and Eliana,

    He is just controlling. He acts like he owned me, could decide who I could and couldnā€™t talk to and what I did. He would force me to do things for him. He is controlling and I always just put up with it because he is my first love and I really donā€™t know better honestly. He has always been like that but about 2 weeks ago I told him ā€œIā€™m unhappy being controlled like this so Iā€™m leavingā€ and he kept begging and begging and told me heā€™d change. I understand how hard it is for people to change so I said ā€œI donā€™t even think you realize how to changeā€ but he kept on promising to change. So I gave him a chance and he was really good. He was really attentive to my feelings and I finally felt happy with him. Then all this happened with his mom and I am currently on vacation with my family so I am apart from him. I can slowly feel the relationship turning back into what it was before and Iā€™m not sure what to do. Honestly deep down I donā€™t think he will ever be capable of the change I want because he is controlling with everything in his life. I really realized the relationship was going back to what it was before when my boyfriend and I got into a fight last night. 2 weeks doesnā€™t seem long a long time but for those 2 weeks I was feeling like myself and I was happy with him and we hadnā€™t fought at all.

    in reply to: My boyfriend's mom talked badly on me? #183599
    Katie
    Participant

    Anita:

    i have been supporting him as best as I can and I hope he appreciates it. But another thing that I think is important to mention is that my boyfriend is also very aggressive which I assume he gets it from his mother and father. I love him and see him as my best friend but he is very aggressive himself. Recently I have been standing up for myself and he has been less aggressive towards me but in the beginning he was very aggressive to me. In the beginning I didnā€™t know how I was supposed to be treated and I remember my best guy friend trying to tell me that his behavior is unacceptable but I didnā€™t know. So I guess this is a problem that doesnā€™t have as much to do with this post but is still important. It has always been EXTREMELY difficult for the relationship to work as he is so aggressive and stubborn. He isnā€™t like a normal boy who compromises itā€™s so hard to get him to listen

    in reply to: My boyfriend's mom talked badly on me? #183443
    Katie
    Participant

    Also Anita,

    i asked my boyfriend to clarify her message as I was suprised that she said ā€œI do not want to see either of youā€ but he said he doesnā€™t know what she means and that sheā€™s crazy. I have no idea what to do in this situation. I donā€™t know what is happening. Does his mom hate me? Or does his mom simply not want us going over as she is mad at him (and not me)? Why did his mom say those things about me earlier about being Jewish? Is it because she is beginning to express her dislike for me? I feel like Iā€™m being put in the middle of their fight. Should I just ignore this and wait until they get along again? Will she like me again after they stop fighting? Iā€™m left very confused.

    in reply to: My boyfriend's mom talked badly on me? #183441
    Katie
    Participant

    Anita:

    His Mom texted me the next day with a long message basically saying she never said anything about me and that my boyfriend is out of control. Then she told me to tell him to fix the hole in the wall or she will file a report against him. I wanted to answer but my boyfriend told me not to. And I didnā€™t want to get in between their fight. Well, my boyfriend and his mom have been fighting bad. She wonā€™t let him in the house. Iā€™m not sure what this fight is based on. All I know is that he told me his mom was saying those things about me, which caused him to punch a hole in the wall, which then caused his Mom to kick him out. Iā€™m not going to lie, I feel like his mom doesnā€™t like me and is now expressing it to him. Iā€™m not sure what to do. My boyfriend was going Christmas shopping today and asked me to text his mom asking what she would like for Christmas. (She blocked him so thatā€™s why he wanted me to ask). She replied by saying ā€œtell him I do not want anything and that he better not show up to Christmas. He should not be home today from 3 pm to Tuesday 8 am I do not want to see him. I do not want to see either of you. Neither of you are welcome here.ā€

    so yeah I think she hates me!! Iā€™m not sure what to do.

    in reply to: How can I get him to change more? #183251
    Katie
    Participant

    Urooz:

    I agree, I may be asking for too much. I will talk to him about the other things. I honestly am in just a crisis with myself and the people around me. I feel such pressure from my boyfriend and friends. My boyfriend doesn’t like my friends, and my friends also do not like my boyfriend. They act like he doesn’t care for me. I mean, I believe he cares for me. I don’t know if my friends are real friends because they do not help me with my problems. Instead, they talk about them to each other behind my back. Like, a lot of things I feel as though they do not understand. Like to me, it is waaay more complicated than “you guys have so many problems, just break up” you know? I love him and as far as I know… he loves me. They think I am stupid for being with him. I just do not feel supported, it sucks. But that is another problem I guess. To them, this progress means nothing. To them, when I say this, their answer is “if you have to tell him how to treat you right, then you probably shouldn’t be with him”

    I do not need approval from my friends but as a person who is very open with everyone close to me, I hate being judged and misunderstood.

    in reply to: How can I get him to change more? #183249
    Katie
    Participant

    Anita:

    I do wish to know him better because he does not come from a good family. He has told me some things and what I have heard, I do not like. I wouldn’t repeat this to anyone I knew but he has told me things such as being abused as a child. Is this what you mean?

    in reply to: How can I get him to change more? #183057
    Katie
    Participant

    Another thing: he really isn’t that manipulative honestly. Sometimes he can be. So far with his attention to my feelings, he has not been manipulative. I feel as though using the words “manipulative” did not describe him well. He is just controlling.

    in reply to: How can I get him to change more? #183055
    Katie
    Participant

    Also, I am used to being told “you can’t change someone” but so far with the progress he has shown I feel like he can change. I am just afraid of what will happen if I try to talk to him about this stuff. It isn’t going to be easy I understand. I mean worst case we break up.

    in reply to: Help!!! My boyfriend liked another girl while dating me?? #182771
    Katie
    Participant

    Dear Anita:

    I realized that this was just 1/100 instances where my boyfriend was not faithful. Honestly, that is the least of my problems. I probably will never know what happened with this girl. I have talked to him recently about this and he explained everything. It made sense. This problem is the least of my worries now, I am not worried about it. What I am worried about is that he is abusive emotionally and I have been dealing with it for 2 years. Please help me. I broke up with him today (kinda). I have never really realized my worth before until now, but I understand there really is no changing an abusive guy unless he chooses to change and that I also do not deserve this. I simply told him, “I love you but I can’t keep doing this.” and I explained that I have tried everything but I can’t stay if I am unhappy. He really seems to not be understanding me. I didn’t expect him to understand. Now I am going through extreme heartbreak. I was fine earlier as I felt powerful and finally felt I knew the truth about myself but I just woke up from a nap and reality is starting to kick in. Part of me feels as though he will change when he realizes I am gone for good, for some reason I am holding on to that hope that we still have a future because he will change. There is a reason I always post on this site (and others) and it is because I love him and I am trying to make it work. I read articles, talk to counselors, I just wanted it to work but it is not going to. I just need some advice. Sorry if I sound all over the place because my mind is. I just need some words of advice to keep from feeling the depression that comes with losing him. I just wish he would change for me but that’s not for me to decide.

Viewing 15 posts - 106 through 120 (of 134 total)