Even from a male perspective (I’m a dude)- this sounds like you are unhappy now and will continue to be unhappy. And to be quite honest, it most likely will worsen over time. Your sobriety- I don’t know if this is something you ‘had’ to do or honestly chose for yourself, but regardless, it’s important for you to stay clean. An unhappy marriage will be soooo difficult to deal with and you most likely don’t want or need that.

Sounds like you have a decision to make and this is a decision that will need to be made now or later on. Your instinct is talking to you right now. Think about what happens if you get married. Does the act of getting married help your situation or the way you are feeling right now at all? And ask yourself honestly- will you be coming back to TinyBuddha or other internet forums with the same complaints, discomfort, unhappiness, etc? Does online venting help the situation? Is that good enough to help you endure each day?

It seems you are coming here anonymously to share your grief and internal struggle. A question to ask yourself honestly would be: How do I relieve myself of this grief? Again, you have a decision to make now or later on in your life. Same decision, with extraneous items developing along the way which can make making this decision even more complex as time goes by.

I believe in God. When human hands get involved or in the way (Religious Dogma), I lose interest in the conversation. I have been at various points of struggle and contemplation in my life where I ‘believed’ and prayed to God and walked through these struggles and came out stronger and in a much better place. I know that when I pray to God and have my mind and body in-tune with what hope and goodness can bring, then my path is illuminated and I keep walking.

Also see The Eightfold Path of Buddhism

• This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by Karmasoda.
• This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by Karmasoda.
• This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by Karmasoda.
• This reply was modified 8 years, 5 months ago by Karmasoda.

Hi Carole,

Recovering from a physical injury, my physical therapist threw the phrase “motion is lotion” at me. The concept, of course, being the more moderate movement the injured joint experienced, the better and quicker it would heal. Stagnation and non-movement does not heal as well as being in motion.

To combat depression, anxiety, and isolation, it’s very important to get out and just “do stuff”. I would encourage you to get out and do the stuff you like to do and do it often. I would also recommend learning something new that will challenge you and get the brain in forward-thinking mode. Don’t be afraid to say YES and don’t be afraid to say NO. Try to set realistic, obtainable goals and when you’ve reached those goals, have the next set ready to rock!

Be Good to Yourself,
KS