Hi @anita,

I never knew about the link between early experiences and assertiveness.

I guess one of the earliest negative experiences was how my parents would always say that I am too sensitive. There are too many instances and none stick out. For example, it could be something like them not switching off the television when I was trying to study in my room, subsequently leading me to lose my temper.

My parents were also not very good at showing care and concern or providing a listening ear. I could not confide in them because they were often tired from working, could not understand my problems and often weren’t that empathetic. Sometimes, they would just say that I was being too sensitive.

Thinking about it, I think it definitely has affected me. Many times when I experience negative emotions due to another person, I doubt myself, questioning if I had been too sensitive and whether it is justified for me to feel that way. I think I automatically function this way so it contributes to me being unassertive as I am unsure about whether I was being too sensitive or were my feelings justified.

J

Hi Inky,

thanks for the idea about the social pre-emptive strike! Never thought of that.

If she traps you in your room ever, you can always leave the room to go to the bathroom/get something in the living room/kitchen. Then say, “OK, going to bed/chill out/take a shower”.

And I’ll try that! I’ll a really bad liar so I’m nervous about mucking up. But I’ll try.

J