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Jgold

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  • December 14, 2015 at 6:20 pm in reply to: Hurt by friend, unsure how to deal #89714
    Jgold
    Participant

    @anita I have thought of seeking professional help many times but unsure if I should. My issues seem trivial compared to other people who have mental disorders. What do you advice?

    December 13, 2015 at 11:29 pm in reply to: Hurt by friend, unsure how to deal #89684
    Jgold
    Participant

    Hi @anita,

    I never knew about the link between early experiences and assertiveness.

    I guess one of the earliest negative experiences was how my parents would always say that I am too sensitive. There are too many instances and none stick out. For example, it could be something like them not switching off the television when I was trying to study in my room, subsequently leading me to lose my temper.

    My parents were also not very good at showing care and concern or providing a listening ear. I could not confide in them because they were often tired from working, could not understand my problems and often weren’t that empathetic. Sometimes, they would just say that I was being too sensitive.

    Thinking about it, I think it definitely has affected me. Many times when I experience negative emotions due to another person, I doubt myself, questioning if I had been too sensitive and whether it is justified for me to feel that way. I think I automatically function this way so it contributes to me being unassertive as I am unsure about whether I was being too sensitive or were my feelings justified.

    J

    December 13, 2015 at 4:42 pm in reply to: Hurt by friend, unsure how to deal #89663
    Jgold
    Participant

    Hi everyone, thanks for your reply!


    @Inky     That’s not very good news though, my current group of close friends are just me and the 2 other friends I mentioned.


    @vizual     I didn’t choose to dwell on it. Those were the feelings that came naturally to me. I didn’t say anything because we were out together for the whole day. If I was to tell her about it, I feel that it would make things awkward for all of us and ruin the day. Perhaps there is a way to say it with tact though but I don’t know how. Do you have any suggestions?


    @anita     That’s right, I do have a problem with being assertive but I’m trying to be better with that. In regards to sharing about the earliest experience of being negatively criticised, is this the right forum category to do that? How would doing that help?

    J

    • This reply was modified 9 years ago by Jgold.
    November 18, 2015 at 6:09 am in reply to: Need some advice #87831
    Jgold
    Participant

    Hi Inky,

    thanks for the idea about the social pre-emptive strike! Never thought of that.

    If she traps you in your room ever, you can always leave the room to go to the bathroom/get something in the living room/kitchen. Then say, “OK, going to bed/chill out/take a shower”.

    And I’ll try that! I’ll a really bad liar so I’m nervous about mucking up. But I’ll try.

    J

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